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Thread: Caught wife's intimate mail thread with a colleague

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    Default Caught wife's intimate mail thread with a colleague

    everyone, please suggest me with good heart instead of making any fun or trying to find some mistakes from me in the below one. badly need your suggestion at the time of new year

    mine is a love marriage and we now have two kids. we both work. occassional fights are there like any other relationship and all is going fine according to me. we are intimate even till date. but a day before suddenly i happen to see an intimate mail thread between my wife and her colleague. i was completely devastated as i always had trust on my wife and loved her to the core. didnt want beat around the bush so openly asked here about this. she initially denied saying she didnt know but later agreed that its she who wrote those. her version is, its all in mails and nothing physical and she never planned any physical thing. she agrees that its a big sin done and was not in proper mental condition while doing it. she confirmed to let go this off and not fall in the trap in future again. my question is should i continue to stay with her? will i be of same mind if we continue? i still love her and that love makes me believe that she is saying truth about not wanting to go physical. but definitely this gives great discomfort to me and unbale to digest the fact that she did this to me. can i forgive and move on? should i have her stop working? really finding it difficult to think ways to get out of this. divorce is the best option but considering kids future, unable to take that decision - want to think 100 times before i opt for that as we both love our kids so much and dont want them to be suffering for our misdeeds. if my wife had loved kids so much, she would not have even attempted this but she is admitting her mistake and asying wont repeat at all. completely clueless. due to society issues, i am unable to commit sucide nor kill her for what she done to tme. my family will be blamed and in trouble with bad reputation for this nonsensical stuff. your sincere suggestions and advise please.

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    Hi!!,,

    YOu feel you love her & feel like trusting her. So trust her. Just give her one chance. also ask her what made her do what she did. get the reason. Is romance lacking, is there anything she needs more in relation with you. Ask her & do it for her, so that she remians in love with you.TAke her out every weekend. Love her more. Express more. re-invent romance. Still if she continues cheating on you, you can think of divorce & marry a loyal partner.
    & never think about suicide or murder.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    Yeah, this is a painful situation. Maybe she is not getting enough emotional partnership from you. Or else what might be the reason for her? We can only speculate, can't say anything as you have not shared what kind of conversation she had with that 3rd person. In case you decide to give her another chance, make sure you guys see a therapist/counselor and try to find out why she did that. Make the conversation available to the expert and she should answer all questions asked by the expert.

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    "She was not in proper mental condition" but excellent Physical Condition?

    What is the guarantee that she will not lose her mental balance and harm your kids? Ask her to seek counselling with a psychiatrist confessing that she has fidelity issues. She is a Cheater and it is clearly written on her forehead. Get hold of the report from the Psyche and go to a lawyer. Get rid of her and find a new wife who is honest.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned, right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Cheating Wives and the Law

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    For the first time I agree with Logical_Guru .........just saying "not in proper mental condition" is not enough......she cheated on you once, she will do it again......
    NOW YOU SEE ME
    Now you don't

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    I would suggest you, instead of breaking a house, rebuilding it would be the best... I mean to say...Don't think of divorce your kids will suffer in the future... Try to forget what has happened... Make your wife knows how much you love her, what is her importance in your family so that later she won't repeat this mistake... For your wife has done something like this, it is probably because she gets carried away emotionally very quickly... Keep an eye on her acts.. Better tell her to remain at home and look after the kids...

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    marriages are not broken by 1 or 2 mistakes. forgive her mentally and ask her if theres any thing she is missing in your relationship. sometimes boredom n staleness creeps in. remove that n refresh the marriage n ask her to move as a home maker as you want her 100% 4 u...i mean ask her to quit job in this way and b not saying harsh things like you dong trust her......her working is out of question now else you are playing with fire

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    watch the movie Just Married

    anyway if youre in afghanistan or countries like those,your local councilor would have asked you to stone her to death,but being living in sane soceity,discuss with her that this kinda stuff will break your home/family and give her stern advise

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    I understand your situation but I think that you should give her another chance for the sake of your kids and tell her that she can't do this again. Humans make a mistakes and she made one too a BIG one but give her a second chance and watch her.

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    If she is really sorry, forgive her. Work on the problems due to which this situation arrived, She loves you a lot and people do make mistake. My suggestion would be to forgive her and go to a marriage councillor so that this situation never arrive in future. You know after 3-4 years, you will feel that your marriage has become more stronger and you know each other more better.

    Take Care. God Bless you... !!!!

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    i am very much agree with "Logical_Guru". can u forget all this stuff,no naa.
    then your wife should be punished, and if its a divorce,then go on

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    Once a cheater, always a cheater. The rest is entirely upto you.

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    Look man. i'll go simple with u. Forgive her this time but don't forget what has happened. Go for surveillance, hire a detective to monitor your wife without her knowing. Have a watch on your wife's movements, e-mails , anything short of telepathy.

    Meanwhile, give more time to your wife, take her out , just you and her on a trip, re-ignite the romance so that even if she felt lonely due to you not providing her time, you can rectify that. And meanwhile use the detective to have a watch on that colleague , if he tries to come nearr your wife

    Also consult a Psychiatrist to help your wife and also to find out, if she had sex with that person and if some mms or video or photo hasn't been shot to prevent blackmailing.

    I'm talking and thinking little far too much but this is necessary . All the best in your Married Life

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    don't worry. don't feel bad.. ask her to spend all her money for home. don't let her save money. You don't pay a shit. if she loves you she will agree. else she herself will ask for divorce.

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    The kids! This is always what i start with when a relationship hit a wall!
    I am guessing if you didn't catch her it would have went to physical.

    Did you think of the reasons that might led your wife to cheat on you?
    Maybe you work a lot and leave her at home alone so she is kinda "having fun"?

    Listen, your thoughts about suicide are really disturbing, please if you feel you can't trust her
    just separate the normal way by getting divorce, don't keep torturing yourself by thinking
    you trust her and believe in her again or not. Unstable family ain't good environment for kids
    to grow in.


    Quote Originally Posted by sorrowfulguy View Post
    everyone, please suggest me with good heart instead of making any fun or trying to find some mistakes from me in the below one. badly need your suggestion at the time of new year

    mine is a love marriage and we now have two kids. we both work. occassional fights are there like any other relationship and all is going fine according to me. we are intimate even till date. but a day before suddenly i happen to see an intimate mail thread between my wife and her colleague. i was completely devastated as i always had trust on my wife and loved her to the core. didnt want beat around the bush so openly asked here about this. she initially denied saying she didnt know but later agreed that its she who wrote those. her version is, its all in mails and nothing physical and she never planned any physical thing. she agrees that its a big sin done and was not in proper mental condition while doing it. she confirmed to let go this off and not fall in the trap in future again. my question is should i continue to stay with her? will i be of same mind if we continue? i still love her and that love makes me believe that she is saying truth about not wanting to go physical. but definitely this gives great discomfort to me and unbale to digest the fact that she did this to me. can i forgive and move on? should i have her stop working? really finding it difficult to think ways to get out of this. divorce is the best option but considering kids future, unable to take that decision - want to think 100 times before i opt for that as we both love our kids so much and dont want them to be suffering for our misdeeds. if my wife had loved kids so much, she would not have even attempted this but she is admitting her mistake and asying wont repeat at all. completely clueless. due to society issues, i am unable to commit sucide nor kill her for what she done to tme. my family will be blamed and in trouble with bad reputation for this nonsensical stuff. your sincere suggestions and advise please.

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