Should i let her go??

Unregistered · 01-01-2013, 01:26 AM

I am a 23 year old guy.... me and my girlfrnd are of same age... we used to study in same class during school.... but after school i took a gap of one year to prepare for competitive exams whereas she joined college..... so she graduated a year before me and currently doing a job in IT sector...

our relation is almost of three years now and since beginning it is a Long Distance Relation... we used to meet in an interval of 2-3 months though... in These three years like every long distance relationship we had ups and downs both..... and now m gonna join a job in different city... so we will again be separate from each other....

she is eldest kid in her family while i am a single child... so now the problem is her parents are forcing her for marriage and they have already started looking for a groom.....

She is in immense pressure... so does i am... i still need around 2 years to get settled and only after then i can think about marriage.... and by goin by the mood of her parents.. they will not wait that long as she also had a younger sis....

Our castes are different too so that is also an issue....

She demands an answer from me immediately... and i think she has all the rights to do so... but my problem is i am still not sure what will happen in future... and also a very important question that repeatedly come to my mind is that if 3 yrs of long distance relation enough to decide weather u can marry a person or not... i mean we met hardly for 30 days in a year... rest 11 month we only speak over phone... in which we hv frequent fights....

Our parents are unaware of our relation..... i want to tell all this to my mother.. but i want to do it after i join a job and become settled... while her parents are in a position to fix her marriage in nxt week....

So what should i do?? sit silently and break up from her so that she can marry the boy her parents choose for her....or should i involve my parents and ask for some time from her parents...

if any one have any other option please share with me....... m very very confused... and i hv only a week to take a decision...!!!!!

**o00** · 03-01-2013, 10:47 AM

Sometimes, we have to take bold decisions in life. This I a tricky situation as you have little time to decide. Take a deep breath and think if you will be happy after losing her. Will she be happy after losing you? If the answer of both is a no, then declare your love in front of your parents, as her to talk to her parents and you too can get engaged. Then you guys can marry later when you are settled etc. It's not that you never thought of this situation before, and you must have anticipated about this before. Also, it's not guranteed that you will be as lucky in love in future, just in case you lose her.

**Gudu Gudu Returns** · 03-01-2013, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I am a 23 year old guy.... me and my girlfrnd are of same age... we used to study in same class during school.... but after school i took a gap of one year to prepare for competitive exams whereas she joined college..... so she graduated a year before me and currently doing a job in IT sector...

our relation is almost of three years now and since beginning it is a Long Distance Relation... we used to meet in an interval of 2-3 months though... in These three years like every long distance relationship we had ups and downs both..... and now m gonna join a job in different city... so we will again be separate from each other....

she is eldest kid in her family while i am a single child... so now the problem is her parents are forcing her for marriage and they have already started looking for a groom.....

She is in immense pressure... so does i am... i still need around 2 years to get settled and only after then i can think about marriage.... and by goin by the mood of her parents.. they will not wait that long as she also had a younger sis....

Our castes are different too so that is also an issue....

She demands an answer from me immediately... and i think she has all the rights to do so... but my problem is i am still not sure what will happen in future... and also a very important question that repeatedly come to my mind is that if 3 yrs of long distance relation enough to decide weather u can marry a person or not... i mean we met hardly for 30 days in a year... rest 11 month we only speak over phone... in which we hv frequent fights....

Our parents are unaware of our relation..... i want to tell all this to my mother.. but i want to do it after i join a job and become settled... while her parents are in a position to fix her marriage in nxt week....

So what should i do?? sit silently and break up from her so that she can marry the boy her parents choose for her....or should i involve my parents and ask for some time from her parents...

if any one have any other option please share with me....... m very very confused... and i hv only a week to take a decision...!!!!!

Tension nahi leneka.

Jo hota he hone do.

Life ke saath interfere nahi karneka, warna life tumko jeene nahi degi.

1. You tell off you need 2 years to get settled, go speak to her parents etc.

2. They get convinced, good. If not another option for lovers is elope and get married.

3. The above two options not possible for you.. means... let them keep searching for a groom for your girl.

4. If till the time you get settled her parents not able to find a suitable groom, then you may as well go then and ask ladki ka haath from her parents.

5. But whatever it is, decision maker is you, and once you take any decision, stick to it.

Good luck buddy

**ariesgirl** · 03-01-2013, 10:20 PM

involve your parents..reveal your love story to your parents and ask them to meet her parents...do it asap..

**sens** · 05-01-2013, 07:02 PM

hi!!!

seems like u yourslef are little confused if you really want to marry her.. coz u have doubt if u know her really well, since u met only 30 days. & You are right about the relation you guys have... 30 days & remaining on phone & then fights.. seems too weak .

So first take some time alone & decide if u really love her, if u are ready to marry her, if u really really wnat to spend your life with her. IF the answer is yes..
talk to your parents immediately. ask them to talk to girls parents & confirm marriage by some engagement. Meanwhile u can get job & settle down & then you can marry her.

If u hurry like she is forcing you to ... it will be big mess.. first of all the relation is not so strong, & then jobless married man will add to problems . so dont rush.
all the best.

**Albert Pinto** · 02-02-2013, 12:10 PM

Arey haath se jaane mat do.......... bahuth kum log hothe hai jinhe pyar naseeb hotha hai ees duniya mein........

Parents ko involve karo.... Let them talk....

If she values this relationship she can wait........ 2 years is not that big period.... And what if she is elder daughter of the family...?? I've seen many families where younger daughters get married first....

Don't let this thing end on this note after 3 years....

**suryasuman89** · 02-02-2013, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by Albert Pinto

Arey haath se jaane mat do.......... bahuth kum log hothe hai jinhe pyar naseeb hotha hai ees duniya mein........

Parents ko involve karo.... Let them talk....

If she values this relationship she can wait........ 2 years is not that big period.... And what if she is elder daughter of the family...?? I've seen many families where younger daughters get married first....

Don't let this thing end on this note after 3 years....

yes i am agree with this..

**Sweet Mimi** · 02-02-2013, 12:22 PM

Dear who is asking you to get married now.... if you really love her you wont let her go.... there is no harm in getting engage and get married after two years.... involve your parents and see what you can do... otherwise if you feel you not interested to take some pain or do some effort for her then let go!

**sonig** · 02-02-2013, 01:24 PM

its rite tht u hv career ahead to think for and
also she is nt wrong she is the eldest from her siblings obviously
her parents will wnt her to marry on time and as u both were in love she
looked upto u wen this situations came in front of her .......i jst have one que.with u
its not that these problems have arised suddenly they could be cropping up from long u would b
knowing this that there is caste prob,or so bt as u r thinking about your career u r thinking in this direction tht wat will make this relation nt to be work out.as she loves u she will surely expct u to be her side in this situation.

its not easy wen u lov someone and marry someone else.......jst tell this tht dint u knew all this things before?

its not possible tht u were both going on and not thot about this situations before.
u both hv given gap to relation and now wen she is facing this prob u will join job somewhere else now jst think about that
girl situation tht wat would be her condition.whether u r rite or not she wil nt understand coz of her situation she is in.

its not that u shouldnt hv to think about yourself bt think about her as well if u were knowing all this then u should hv broken this thing
much starting phase.u r also a mature being if u knew tht u wnt to build up your career then u shuld hv told her before so she could move on in her life
much before but as she is into u it would b difficult for her as well for u.......
u would b hurting her as well as u bt as its clear tht u would nt b able to be into any relationship then dont make her fall for u more discuss with her this
tht u wnt to make your career and cant b into this relationship further it will hurt her bt atleast she will make her efforts to move on.and if u truely love her then dont leave her like this atleast talk to your parents and make them know u want to marry her atleast u both could get engaged and probs would b lessen up itself.rest u both cn make this work with your efforts.god bless

**animesh1402** · 02-02-2013, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by sonig

its rite tht u hv career ahead to think for and
also she is nt wrong she is the eldest from her siblings obviously
her parents will wnt her to marry on time and as u both were in love she
looked upto u wen this situations came in front of her .......i jst have one que.with u
its not that these problems have arised suddenly they could be cropping up from long u would b
knowing this that there is caste prob,or so bt as u r thinking about your career u r thinking in this direction tht wat will make this relation nt to be work out.as she loves u she will surely expct u to be her side in this situation.

its not easy wen u lov someone and marry someone else.......jst tell this tht dint u knew all this things before?

its not possible tht u were both going on and not thot about this situations before.
u both hv given gap to relation and now wen she is facing this prob u will join job somewhere else now jst think about that
girl situation tht wat would be her condition.whether u r rite or not she wil nt understand coz of her situation she is in.

its not that u shouldnt hv to think about yourself bt think about her as well if u were knowing all this then u should hv broken this thing
much starting phase.u r also a mature being if u knew tht u wnt to build up your career then u shuld hv told her before so she could move on in her life
much before but as she is into u it would b difficult for her as well for u.......
u would b hurting her as well as u bt as its clear tht u would nt b able to be into any relationship then dont make her fall for u more discuss with her this
tht u wnt to make your career and cant b into this relationship further it will hurt her bt atleast she will make her efforts to move on.and if u truely love her then dont leave her like this atleast talk to your parents and make them know u want to marry her atleast u both could get engaged and probs would b lessen up itself.rest u both cn make this work with your efforts.god bless

thnks for ur valuable suggestion soni..... u mainly highlighted the fact that i should hv been aware that this situation gonna crop up sooner or later... and to some extent its true...

i do promised her marriage but my condition was i can take necessary steps only after we turn 26... she was initially ok with this.... but now all of a sudden a marriage proposal came for her and this situation arises.... i was not sure what to do... was so confused as even my future was uncertain at that moment....

anyways other things has happened in the last one month and situation is much more clear than it was on the day i posted this thread... its been a month..!!