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Thread: Becoming Insane Coz of Emotional attachment with a girl

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Becoming Insane Coz of Emotional attachment with a girl

    Hi I am 24 year software engineer. Six month back a girl joins my team. Initially everything was normal. But things changed for me on last Diwali vacation. When I was leaving for my native, I was not able to go. I was standing at the gate of my apartment, confused whether to go or not. Coz I was missing something. That day I couldnít catch the train and at night finally I realize that I was missing her. After that everything has changed for me. There is not a single day, when I havenít thought about her.

    I am not able to concentrate anywhere. This feeling is affecting my work also. My condition is like, if I will not spoke to the girl, that day become worst day of my life. Coz I will not be able to do anything I become upset, I sit alone. I donít know how many times I cried.
    The worst part is whenever I asked to come out with me, she refuse. In office she will join me for coffee, lunch etc. But outside the office she always refuses to come with me. She does not have boyfriend also. But she will go out with her friends. I thought of telling, what I feel for her. But I hesitate, coz I donít know what will be impact of this.

    I donít know what to do. Please help me. I just what to get out from this situation. This feeling of missing her is killing me daily affecting my work.
    Please help meÖhelp me

  2. #2
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    In IT, you put Software into Hardware. In real life, you put Hardware into Software. You need to be practical here boss. Propose to her rather than calling her out to dinner. Express your feelings clearly. If things don't work out, resign yourself to fate and move one.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned, right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Matrimony, Religion, International Travel and the Law

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    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    From what you have written, I think the girl is interested in keeping only professional relations with you. Accept this and move on. Have control on your mind and emotions, and dont get too pushy around her for going out. You asked once, she refused - this shows that she is not interested in you. Divert your mind, speak with other colleagues both men and women. The more you get stuck up on this girl, the more worse your situation will become.
    Fight your Fears and you will be in Battle Forever
    Control your Fears and you will be Free Forever



  4. #4
    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    Propose her outside the workplace. You need to figure out when and where. If she rejects, let her know that you will still be the same in professional world. Never try to propose her again then...you are not gonna die if she rejects you. If you miss her in her absence, then divert your mind to sports, hangout with other friends etc. You are not in high school.. you are 24, so you know how to handle love related stuff.

  5. #5
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    seems like she is not interested in you. Better leave her and find someone else.. Take care byee...

  6. #6
    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi I am 24 year software engineer. Six month back a girl joins my team. Initially everything was normal. But things changed for me on last Diwali vacation. When I was leaving for my native, I was not able to go. I was standing at the gate of my apartment, confused whether to go or not. Coz I was missing something. That day I couldn’t catch the train and at night finally I realize that I was missing her. After that everything has changed for me. There is not a single day, when I haven’t thought about her.

    I am not able to concentrate anywhere. This feeling is affecting my work also. My condition is like, if I will not spoke to the girl, that day become worst day of my life. Coz I will not be able to do anything I become upset, I sit alone. I don’t know how many times I cried.
    The worst part is whenever I asked to come out with me, she refuse. In office she will join me for coffee, lunch etc. But outside the office she always refuses to come with me. She does not have boyfriend also. But she will go out with her friends. I thought of telling, what I feel for her. But I hesitate, coz I don’t know what will be impact of this.

    I don’t know what to do. Please help me. I just what to get out from this situation. This feeling of missing her is killing me daily affecting my work.
    Please help me…help me
    You asking her out is a huge hint that you want to be her boyfriend. And clearly, her refusing is a huge hint that she does not want to. Rejection in relationships does make a person insane. Everybody goes through it.

    You will get over it by not paying so much attention to her. She was not the only thing in life that you could depend your survival on. In time you will have to get over this.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi I am 24 year software engineer. Six month back a girl joins my team. Initially everything was normal. But things changed for me on last Diwali vacation. When I was leaving for my native, I was not able to go. I was standing at the gate of my apartment, confused whether to go or not. Coz I was missing something. That day I couldnít catch the train and at night finally I realize that I was missing her. After that everything has changed for me. There is not a single day, when I havenít thought about her.

    I am not able to concentrate anywhere. This feeling is affecting my work also. My condition is like, if I will not spoke to the girl, that day become worst day of my life. Coz I will not be able to do anything I become upset, I sit alone. I donít know how many times I cried.
    The worst part is whenever I asked to come out with me, she refuse. In office she will join me for coffee, lunch etc. But outside the office she always refuses to come with me. She does not have boyfriend also. But she will go out with her friends. I thought of telling, what I feel for her. But I hesitate, coz I donít know what will be impact of this.

    I donít know what to do. Please help me. I just what to get out from this situation. This feeling of missing her is killing me daily affecting my work.
    Please help meÖhelp me
    Hi dude

    Pyar me pagal all that ok.

    But Jo ladki abhi se tumhara haalath aise karsalti he, toh socho aage jaake kya karegi?

    She's not the one for you. Pyaare pyar do tarfa honi chahiye!

    One way love toh , one way lane mein ghusne ke barabar he... Accident zaroor hoying...
    Stay away from this girl, for your own mental well being!

  8. #8
    SB Addict RoleModel007's Avatar
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    You are putting all your eggs into one basket boy! Always good to have a plan B, just in case. 'He/ She is the only' one concept only do justice in bollywood movies. Real life is way too meaner.

    As far as your situation is concerned try to spend more time with her and win over her over. If you think its connecting then pop out the question. If doesn't work then remember there are plenty of other fishes in the sea.

  9. #9
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    1. tell the girl what you feel cause she might be thinking that you are the typical IT male who wants a gf for taking around etc.

    2. if she says no then at least you can try later if you think this is just first time no etc. but do ask why no.


    best of luck
    mods decision: any insult to female members will be ignored as the person doing this is somebody known to the mods
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  10. #10
    radiant light ! Captain ariesgirl's Avatar
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    don't keep things for yourself...she may not be having 6th sense to figure out what actually is in your mind..tell her how you feel..do it at the earliest...if she stil rejects you,accept it and move on..

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