Hello Maam, I have been a regular visitor of Santabanta since a very long time now. I am 24 years old now, working as an IPS Officer in the Crime Branch. I had joined my Service in the IPS Cadre 2 years ago after completion of training. Cant reveal my identity for security reasons, I guess it wont make much of a difference though. Coming to the point:
From past few months, I have completely lost my self-confidence for unknown reasons. I was a very energetic personality and have won 4 medals in my service of two years. In spite of being an ACP in Crime Branch, i have always taken the initiative of field work even though I always had my junior full fledged staff for action work. I have saved a couple of girls from active rape scenes, been a part of actions squads in live weapon firings. I had also encountered a terrorist fully loaded with hazardous weapons. All point is, I was energetic, Brave and courageous. But now, from past few months, I am not even able to concentrate properly. I even get scared with a cracker. I mean, not that scared, but my eyes get shut even for a small sound. I don't know why, but i tend to blink my eyes even for smallest sounds or any thing like that. Even if some one is pulling something, i shut my eyes or my face gets tensed as if i am scared that thing will go into my eyes. It happens even though i know it cant enter my eyes. I dont have confidence at all in any thing. I cant catch a simple ball coming towards me. Even if some one throws a soft toy towards me, I react in the same way and thing is that i cannot even judge properly where the thing will land. The reasons are unknown to me and the problem is affecting me seriously. I am even not able to express my problem properly here, but I hope that respected Maam and all my friends here get it. Even if i try to hit someone, the force is so slow that a couple of criminals few days back in interrogation room we making fun of me! Embarrassing Situation! The hitting force goes slow because I am unable to place my hand properly in perfect swing and motion.
Please help me out. I am loosing it day by day. Any help from any one will be really appreciated and i shall be grateful.
Thanks in anticipation.