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Thread: How to change my attitude to feel good?

  1. #1
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    Default How to change my attitude to feel good?

    i know it is not going to potray me as a good human being it all started with the night i got married my wife is terrified with the concept of sex i tried every thing foreplay lubrication took her to psychologist but she did not let me penetrate and once or twice if i forcefully tried it she statrted shivering and went into a sate that she can not breathe and i have to withdraw caz that was not pleasant for her or me i started thinking of divorce after 6 months of marriage her younger sister was aware of the situation and tried to stop me for divorcing her and i manipulated her in a way that she started having sex with me ist time i might have been agressive but after that it was a silent treaty that she will satisfy me sexually whenever i desire. only ist time the act was done in our house while my wife was sleeping after taking sleeping pills after that in a flat that i own so my wife do not know about this may be she does but she never confronted me .i also indulged sexually with my Secretary and high class escorts but i am happy only when i am with her. 2 week b4 i had sex with my sis in law she started weeping after it. it never happend b4 may be little bit when we had sex ist time but this time some thing just broke in side me with the way she look at me with tear in her eyes. i do not want to hurt her may be i should divorce my wife and marry het instead but she do not agree to it and told me she will commit suicide if i did that and i have devopled strong feelings for her. now her parents are looking a boy for her and even told me to look too . last 2 weeks have been very tough i can not sleep feel dead inside can not let her go but might have too . realtionship with my wife is almost ideal with the exception of sex do not have any reason to divorce cn not live with out sis in law i might go crazy And now that i am in this sitution i realize that how much i have hurt my sis in law by taking advantage of her

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    OK....well, since you've been having multiple sex partners, it does seem that you have been taking advantage of the two sisters. How are you assuming that you would be allowed to marry your sister in law by your wife, her parents and the girl herself? Its time that you resolved the sex issue with your wife instead of looking for solutions that will hurt a lot of people.
    Let the girl have her own life- this is no good for her at all.

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    In his last speech, JRD Tata said that there are only 2 words in the English language that add up to a 100. If A=1, B=2 and Z=26. They were "Attitude" and "Determination". Add up Culture and Hardwork based on the same logic and you have your answer.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned, right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Matrimony, Religion, International Travel and the Law

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    Leave your SIL alone. It's good that you feel bad about your mistakes.

    Get proper treatment for your wife and it it doesn't work, then get a divorce. You have enough grounds for that. Make her parents etc. aware that she needs a treatment.

    About feeling bad etc..you cant turn back and change the things. So keep a distance from your SIL. Your liking for her will vanish too. If possible, move to a different location.

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    a girl is ready to sleep with you just to save her sister's marriage and you are making use of it. God will never forgive you for this. Marriage is not just about having sex it's about understanding and being together in hard time May be your wife need mroe time. You have already screwed a lot, stop abusing that girl you are abusing her physically and mentally. You are kind of doing her rape.

    Go find some prostitute but just leave that girl alone.

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    The only thing that comes close to your reckless sex life is your English. No surprise, both of them makes absolutely no sense at all.

    As far as changing attitude/ feeling good is concerned
    1) You could start with asking a simple sorry with your SIL. Tell her that you admit it was a mistake and you will never be involved with her (physically and emotionally).
    2) Rework on your marriage. At-least you may now know its not just all about sex.
    3) Finish off-with your secy. Workplace stupidity may bite back hard.
    4) Spend on charity like welfare of widows, orphan girl child.
    5) Join rehab.

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    Since you have taken help of psychiatrist. I am sure you must have exhausted all resources to treat your existing wife. Marriage without sex is un imaginable and it is futile exercise in life. If you look at marriage closely then very basic purpose of the same is sex. Reproduction is side effect of sex. Any one advising you ULTA PULTA are all psudo advises and need not to pay any attention. Just take divorce and remarry to a woman who is interested in married life. Remember if you can not convince your wife for divorce and if it is contested divorce you have to waste years of your life and she has weapons like Domestic VIolance act, CrPC 498A and several other maintenance related rights as being wife. Also keep in mind that even after divorce if she do not remarry, you are legally responsible to maintain her - through out her life.

    You had consensual sexx with sister of wife, that incidence should not have any impact on you or her. You must let her forget her past and start afresh.

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    Man you are really in a messy situation.

    We can not blame anyone here, well how does ur sis in law came to know abt all this ? Does she already knew before marriage that her sis has that issue or you told her?

    why she took that decision, did not she know that she can not do this her whole life and did not you think that you wont get that from her the whole life ??

    She must be in miserable situation too, you wont get how a girl feel after doing these kind of stuff and cant be loyal to her own hubby.

    Marriage seems so nice but nobody thinks that things would change like this after it and all dreams will break like this.

    Honestly you should think abt ut before getting involved with all these girls that what should you need to do with your marriage.

    And why you need so many girls to satisfy you and if you think you need so many thn dont involve with anyone emotionally and if at some point or even now you want a peaceful life thn stop all this and concentrate on some solid solution which will make your life peaceful and you get real inner satisfaction.

    You yourself might feel that you love your SIL may be she feels the same but think if a girl is doing this much to save her sis marriage thn why would she marry you now ... she wont.

    now you think if your wife is good otherwise and you will be fine spending life with her thn take care of her and ideally ur SIL did only this so that you wont divorce your wife.
    and if you still think of doing this thn its double cheating ?

    I would say either work on ur marriage or keep getting satisfaction from other girls and let ur SIL live her life and if you really love her thn you are in more worst situation.

    get the decision fast ... dont use her more atleast show her some respect and be responsible for wht you did ....
    I do understand how it goes when you dont get wht you want from ur spouse but why SIL ...why she came in between ... she might knew back in her head that she wont be able to do this always ... i would say talk to her and make her comfortable n hoping you are just not using her like escorts and might communicate well too otherwise ...

    Hope you take the right decision, good luck !!

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    It seems u have realised ur mistake. U shud not play with SIL's emotion, leave the grl alone. She doesnt deserve to be
    treated like this. Take my word - dont even think of marrying her, let her live and marry like a normal grl. Try to normalize things
    btwn u and ur wife. We all need sex, try to get it frm ur wife. Take her to some counselor, even if this doesnt work out thn u can think
    of divorcing her. But for now dont abuse the lil grl and let her get married. u must seek forgiveness of wat u deed and i think u knw
    very well why u need to do it. If u need sex, u can always hire escorts. Talk to ur wife and try to xplain her that like a normal
    human being u have ur bodily requirement and its really difficult for u to control it. Try to xplain and reason with her, if still it doesnt
    work out, u tell her that its better to have divorce bcos thn u can have guilt free relationship(sexual/nonsexual) with some woman.
    Thr can be 2 response frm ur wife. First can be the divorce, thats a win win situation for both of u. Second, she pleads and gives her
    body to u just to save her marriage. In that case u need to understand that just getting her body is not ur aim. U need to tell her
    that its not just sexual njoyment that u desire, u want a healthy physical relationship intertwined with love & emotions. By this time
    she herself will knw which is better marriage or divorce.
    I really appreciate the fact that u realised ur mistake, most of the people wud have just kept on doing wat u were doing. Now that
    u have realised wat wrong u have done, its time to rectify it.

  10. #10
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    Default Sex makes any relationship complicated!

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    i know it is not going to potray me as a good human being it all started with the night i got married my wife is terrified with the concept of sex i tried every thing foreplay lubrication took her to psychologist but she did not let me penetrate and once or twice if i forcefully tried it she statrted shivering and went into a sate that she can not breathe and i have to withdraw caz that was not pleasant for her or me i started thinking of divorce after 6 months of marriage her younger sister was aware of the situation and tried to stop me for divorcing her and i manipulated her in a way that she started having sex with me ist time i might have been agressive but after that it was a silent treaty that she will satisfy me sexually whenever i desire. only ist time the act was done in our house while my wife was sleeping after taking sleeping pills after that in a flat that i own so my wife do not know about this may be she does but she never confronted me .i also indulged sexually with my Secretary and high class escorts but i am happy only when i am with her. 2 week b4 i had sex with my sis in law she started weeping after it. it never happend b4 may be little bit when we had sex ist time but this time some thing just broke in side me with the way she look at me with tear in her eyes. i do not want to hurt her may be i should divorce my wife and marry het instead but she do not agree to it and told me she will commit suicide if i did that and i have devopled strong feelings for her. now her parents are looking a boy for her and even told me to look too . last 2 weeks have been very tough i can not sleep feel dead inside can not let her go but might have too . realtionship with my wife is almost ideal with the exception of sex do not have any reason to divorce cn not live with out sis in law i might go crazy And now that i am in this sitution i realize that how much i have hurt my sis in law by taking advantage of her
    Take divorce.

    Stop sleeping around.

    Make a nice profile, post it on shaadi.com

    Clearly state what you are looking for in a life partner!

    Don't start of with your sexcapades as a confession at the first sight.

    Take the other person into confidence and then tell.

    PST: Forget what all happened in the past like Ghajini's Aamir Khan.
    Start afresh

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