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Thread: She can't make up her mind about love

  1. #1
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    Exclamation She can't make up her mind about love

    Hi, I was in a relationship for 4 years with a gal whom i met through a social networking site. It was really going strong even though we meet each other face to face around 6-7 times being a long distance relationship. I was thinking she was d rite gal for me. Until came a person, someone from her sister's friend. Who later proposed her but she didnt accept it which she told me. But she never told the guy that she is in a relationship with me. That person, tried his best to woo her. A point came, wen my gf got angry with me for some issues, after that she didnt talk to me properly and she started talking more with that guy. In the meanwhile i was trying all my best to get her back, which took me almost a year to make her happy....and we were back together. Later last year, she confessed me that she once had a physical relationship with that guy and that guy started threatening her that if she wont marry her then he will tell this to him(after the receiving torture from him). So she told me the truth before he could tell me. I was completely devastated, couldnt sleep or eat for days...at the same time i cant imagine my life without her. So, I forgive her for her mistake...
    Now, couple of weeks back, she told me that she doesnt have much love for me...and she loves him and wants to marry him. I couldnt believe, how can she play with me like this after giving 5 years of my life for this relationship... :'(
    She told her family about that guy for her marriage, and they are not happy and instead they told her if it were me, then they are ok with that.
    Now, she thinks, she made a mistake...and she wants to come back to me...and marry me...but i dont want her anymore...but a big part of my heart is unable to leave her... :'( and my mind is saying give another chance to hurt myself...
    btw..I still talk to her normally, as i have never taken out my anger on her.....

    Please suggest me ..wat can i do... to come over of all this...

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, she certainly does not seem able to make up her mind about anything, does she? A week she loves you- then someone else- then again, its you. You say that you don't want to be part of this anymore- then you should stick to that decision and stop further heartbreak for yourself. Only you can do that you know. Its good that you don't get angry- but maybe you should also clarify your position on this so that she does know what you are thinking.

  3. #3
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    Stay away. In fact, stop talking to her. Disconnect. Detach. If possible, compose yourself well, and give your relationship a proper closure.
    Accept the fact that you are not what her heart desires - so no point in trying to make this work. Explain her this. Time to say Good Bye to her, nothing more.

  4. #4
    Hope Springs Eternal.... Brigadier General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi, I was in a relationship for 4 years with a gal whom i met through a social networking site. It was really going strong even though we meet each other face to face around 6-7 times being a long distance relationship. I was thinking she was d rite gal for me. Until came a person, someone from her sister's friend. Who later proposed her but she didnt accept it which she told me. But she never told the guy that she is in a relationship with me. That person, tried his best to woo her. A point came, wen my gf got angry with me for some issues, after that she didnt talk to me properly and she started talking more with that guy. In the meanwhile i was trying all my best to get her back, which took me almost a year to make her happy....and we were back together. Later last year, she confessed me that she once had a physical relationship with that guy and that guy started threatening her that if she wont marry her then he will tell this to him(after the receiving torture from him). So she told me the truth before he could tell me. I was completely devastated, couldnt sleep or eat for days...at the same time i cant imagine my life without her. So, I forgive her for her mistake...
    Now, couple of weeks back, she told me that she doesnt have much love for me...and she loves him and wants to marry him. I couldnt believe, how can she play with me like this after giving 5 years of my life for this relationship... :'(
    She told her family about that guy for her marriage, and they are not happy and instead they told her if it were me, then they are ok with that.
    Now, she thinks, she made a mistake...and she wants to come back to me...and marry me...but i dont want her anymore...but a big part of my heart is unable to leave her... :'( and my mind is saying give another chance to hurt myself...
    btw..I still talk to her normally, as i have never taken out my anger on her.....

    Please suggest me ..wat can i do... to come over of all this...
    Do yourself a favor and leave her. For five years she took you for granted and cheated you twice. You should have left her when she slept with that other guy, but anyways do it now. If she couldnt stay loyal to you for five years, how can you trust her to stay loyal all your life?
    Communist until you get rich
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    until you get married
    Atheist
    until the plane starts falling


  5. #5
    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    I hope by now, YOU have made your mind and decided to stay away from her. You said that a big part of your heart is not able to leave her but you have to be strong my man. You will come out to be a much more emotionally strong man when you come out of this. Time is the biggest healer, so give it a few months and hopefully you will be in a stable state of mind.

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