Nervousness,confuse easily, not very confident

[amithotel]

Hi I am software engineer,25 years old just married,and I have problem of being nervous very easily.i mean I dont know why but I get confuse very easily.for eg I talk very less with my boss at office and if my boss ask me something or even if I want to take leave also I revise it many times and still get sweaty(even in winters) wen I ask him something. Even if I am in group ,i usually talk less in office and if at sudden someone ask me something or even if I think to put my viewpoint I feel nervous ,i get sweaty in group and thus embrassed and therefore I never share my views on ant topic even if I feel I have better knowledge then others on that topic.
Even if someone says me wrong in joking way or serious way I dont get any ideas in my mind to REPLY him .and I never say no to anyone. Even if I dont feel to say no. I get under pressure very easily.if someone ask me to do something with pressure I usually do it.
1.I want to learn to say no at different situations.
2. I dont want to get in pressure by anyone.
3. I want to be very very confident.
4. I dont want to feel embrass or sweaty in group and want to share my views confideently. I feel if someone cut my views ill not able to reply him/ her.
6. I take a lot of time in taking decision and even after taking decisions I am always confused if I have taken it right or if I shud go other way.
7. I dont want to get nervousness in any situation nd wanna handle it confidently.
8. I want to gain a lot of confidence and I wana be a leader not a follower.
I wanna succeed in my career.
9. I am always in hurry.
10. I feel lot of anxiety in my self sometimes for doing anything which can give me small happiness but not very important.
11. I get confuse very easily.

I feel to share anything with confident only at my family and own few close friends. and there i can share my views and anything.
Please help
Thnks
Amit

[o00]

You are not the only one mate. There are many like you. It's just the nature of the person.. to some extent I am also like you but I accept myself being myself. If you want to change yourself, you can't do it just like that.. change will happen only if you fell in such situation and there is no way but to change yourself.

[theachiever]

Be yourself and express your views confidently.Do not worry about what people might judge you to be.You are trying to do what you feel is correct.Try to participate in discussions and if you are not aware of topics go through them on net....keep yourself updated with day today news......take intiatives to interact with people participate in group activities.......

[barbiedoll]

You can consider enrolling yourself in communication or personality development training courses. If you cant take out time, you can watch videos or read articles online for the same that might suggest you considerable tips to boost your confidence.

Change isnt an overnight process. When you work on it religiously, you will overcome this shortcoming sooner.

Not to forget, No one is perfect. Everyone is tend to err, as the saying goes, 'to err is human'. So, dont be worried of what people around you might think of.

Imagine a person who started learning a new language. He/she might make lot of errors and get nervous to speak before people who are proficient in the language. Once when they shy away their awkwardness and practice though they make errors initially, do improve with time. Guess you got what am trying to say. Good luck!

[archer_paradise]

Dont take it lightly... Take up psychiatric counselling. It really helps.

Try cognitive behaviour therapy. You may not even require medicines. Its always good to cure any disease. And the symptoms you have are definately something to get rid of.

[RoleModel007]

Amit,

1) Do you think a simple judgement of yours may cause catastrophe making you paranoid about failures?
2) Do you think that there is a lack of plan-b or a back up for rainy days in your life.
3) Do you feel whatever I have achieved till date is colossal and cannot be re-done in this life time.
4) Do you feel that the younger version of yourself did not get enough recognition and you let it go saying it will eventually happen someday.
5) Do you tend over-think situations?

If none of the answer is YES, then you may want to seek expert help.
Otherwise, don't worry life eventually will teach you how to cope with it (I can hear Darwin applauding that from his grave ).

Well, metaphorically you are afraid to walk around fire with the fear of getting burnt to death. The key is to commit smaller mistakes so that you feel its not all that bad as you think it would have been. Slightly feel the fire (do not jump into it), test the waters. You'll start feeling more brave/ fearless.