Arranged married life problems

[amithotel]

Hi I am male ,married,25 years and I have 3-4 problems in life.
I was in love with a girl during college. She was havinhg average looks. Nd that was best time of my life.though we never had sex,js huging nd kissing smtimes but I felt happy with her though she told we can never marry each other due to caste probs.then I got placed and came at gurgaon .i used to visit home nd her on weeknds.though she was at home rare meetingsspend 2 yrs like dat.. Then I was in deep pain as we cant marry , no meetings even and I got a rishta for a girl. I was like ab kisi se bhi ho jaye...wo nhi to koi bhi chlegi. Nd dat girl was little fatty. But my parents liked her too much nd I said yes. Then I married her. Now problem is dat ,this girl my wife is not very smart ,i mean she do all house hold work ,working also but shez not very romantic..very childish..nd uski harktein are not like other girls.yes she loves me but use show krna ni aata.like shez not caring ,nd wen I visit her on weekend she smtimes keep sleeping, nd she fatty also. I have discussed nd told her get smwat slim nd she try also exercises but even I tell her not to eat junk nd oily food ,she just eats. She dnt take care of her. Then I start missing my gf who used to notice everything,took every care,used to arng small parties occasionally.but shez intersted to do small lil things.though she lovez me but blank on how to show.even I arngd surprise bday party for her..but she had not shown any happiness. I really want to lov her understand her but m not satisfied.i discussed dese things ,she felt bad but nt improved.
Secondly shez little fatty, I dont feel sexually attracted to her.i can adjust all things but I really want her ki wo thodi slim ho jaye. I mean wen I go home I shave nd wear gud clothes but she jst normal. Nd smtimes I found her in sleep. Though I rchd late at home at 11 or 12 ,smtimes 1 also on weeknds.shez living wid ma parents.i visit her on weeknds only. Kese smjhau use...dat I expect smthings from her..kese uski childish harkto ko dur kru.i mean kuch hadh tk gud to b childish.but uski harkte ladkiyo jesi ni hai. Nd she herself says mei or ladkio jesi ni hu...nd I just feel bad listening dat. I want to be attracted to her sexually also so I feel aroused and hav gud sexual marital life .
3. Its my problem.when I hug her nd kiss her...she responses positively but I dont feel sexually aroused..i mean even at office I got *****ion smtimes just by looking sexy slim pics. But even I kiss her,cuddle her I dont get *****ion. smtimes I feel due to too much masturbation it happens . Actually I dont hav satisfaction wid my sexual life.if *****ion occurs also..in between only it goes off.sntimes only semi *****ion occurs.am I suffering from any disease? I never had sex ,but after marriage I had it 3-4 times wid my wife. At dat time also I took suhagra ( viagra) nd I dont like to take medicines for *****ion.i didnt consulted any doctor yet. I want to giv her full satisfaction.after medicine I sarisfied her but I am in doubts if I get used to dese medicines?. And scared from side effects. Smtimes I feel to use saandey ka tel as sm frnd told nd listend many times ,bt m not sure if it has any sideeffects and from where shud I get it.pharmacy or sm hakeem whom I cant trust.even I cant discuss dese problm with anyone. And once it happend I took suhagra nd were playing orally but still I dont get *****ion. I feel too much anxiety in heart for sex and when I masturbate I feel much satisfied.i masturbate after watching video or fotos.during masturbate also smtimes I have full *****ion bt other times partial or tk time to ***** after rubbing lot. I scared if m suffering frm erecrile dysfxn.nd m so young.i feel stressed about dis and about my performance at sex.i feel why me? Or is dis jst bcz I dont find her very sexy .though.i find her face very attractive but cant take out frm my mind dat shez fatty and her ****s are also sagging.
Though shez cute nd shy but still I feel lot of many things missing in her which a girl has ..as I seen in wid my college frnds nd colleagues. Then I start missing my gf nd shez also married now but calls me smtimes.i miss her more. I am missing love in life which m missing.i want healthy sex also in my life. Smtimes I feel like to suicide if I am not able to keep my wife happy nd not able to love her.but m bvery hopeful god will show sm way.but rite now m very depressed about my life. I want to be happy ,make my wife, my parents also happy.i am missing love in my life. I feel gud wen she cooks for me and do all things for me...but she dont know how to make her husband happy.dese things gals knw demselves...i cannot tell evrythings to her. Eshaare wo smjhti ni h,like I tell her u luking ok but will luk better in dat...den also she will do wat she want. I really need sm sincere advice for my problems so that I can live a normal life.. I like to flaunt things like putting our pucs on fb..but wo ache se rhti ni..foto sahi unki aati ni kbhi....
Dressing sense acha ni h.....

[o00]

I read the whole story.. looks like it just was a way to let out your frustration, no advise etc. was requested. Maybe there is a limit on number of characters you can type and you exceeded that. You said the same thing (fatty) many times.. and many more things clearly indicate what your state of mind is.

Anyway, you really need to forget your ex and concentrate on your wife. If she is not able to get the 'isharas' , then tell her in clear words. Chubby girls can be good looking too. You need to spend more time with her. You need to make her feel that she will be more special to you if she adjusts a little bit. You need to adjust yourself even more than that. How about living with her full time instead of just weekends? How about going out with her on a vacation for a week?

And coming to your sexual problems, since you are not physically attracted to her, whatever is happening to you is normal. I think if you are with a different woman, you will not have these problems.

[amithotel]

Thanku for the reply..but I dont want, and I cant go with different women.i want if I can satisfied with my wife only. I dont want to ruin my marriage. How can I start liking her and dont have that physical problem also. thats the big problem. Separation or divorce is not option, I dont want to ruin her life and our families lufe miserable.,i want love in my life and I want healthy sexual life too so that we both are satisfied....both in love and physically also. And ritenow we cannot live together due to financial problem,may be in 6-7 ill try to bring her here. ....till that time I visit her regularly on weekends and I will, but I feel ashamed if I m not able to satisfy her nd myself sexually....some sort of pressure occurs on every weekend wen I have to visit her.sometimes I take viagra pills but I dont want to depend upon that...nd. Please help and provide the practical approach which can be applied in real life.no abuses please
Thank u very much

[amithotel]

6-7 months* ( in the above reply)

[Gudu Gudu Returns]

Hi I am male ,married,25 years and I have 3-4 problems in life.
I was in love with a girl during college. She was havinhg average looks. Nd that was best time of my life.though we never had sex,js huging nd kissing smtimes but I felt happy with her though she told we can never marry each other due to caste probs.then I got placed and came at gurgaon .i used to visit home nd her on weeknds.though she was at home rare meetingsspend 2 yrs like dat.. Then I was in deep pain as we cant marry , no meetings even and I got a rishta for a girl. I was like ab kisi se bhi ho jaye...wo nhi to koi bhi chlegi. Nd dat girl was little fatty. But my parents liked her too much nd I said yes. Then I married her. Now problem is dat ,this girl my wife is not very smart ,i mean she do all house hold work ,working also but shez not very romantic..very childish..nd uski harktein are not like other girls.yes she loves me but use show krna ni aata.like shez not caring ,nd wen I visit her on weekend she smtimes keep sleeping, nd she fatty also. I have discussed nd told her get smwat slim nd she try also exercises but even I tell her not to eat junk nd oily food ,she just eats. She dnt take care of her. Then I start missing my gf who used to notice everything,took every care,used to arng small parties occasionally.but shez intersted to do small lil things.though she lovez me but blank on how to show.even I arngd surprise bday party for her..but she had not shown any happiness. I really want to lov her understand her but m not satisfied.i discussed dese things ,she felt bad but nt improved.
Secondly shez little fatty, I dont feel sexually attracted to her.i can adjust all things but I really want her ki wo thodi slim ho jaye. I mean wen I go home I shave nd wear gud clothes but she jst normal. Nd smtimes I found her in sleep. Though I rchd late at home at 11 or 12 ,smtimes 1 also on weeknds.shez living wid ma parents.i visit her on weeknds only. Kese smjhau use...dat I expect smthings from her..kese uski childish harkto ko dur kru.i mean kuch hadh tk gud to b childish.but uski harkte ladkiyo jesi ni hai. Nd she herself says mei or ladkio jesi ni hu...nd I just feel bad listening dat. I want to be attracted to her sexually also so I feel aroused and hav gud sexual marital life .
3. Its my problem.when I hug her nd kiss her...she responses positively but I dont feel sexually aroused..i mean even at office I got *****ion smtimes just by looking sexy slim pics. But even I kiss her,cuddle her I dont get *****ion. smtimes I feel due to too much masturbation it happens . Actually I dont hav satisfaction wid my sexual life.if *****ion occurs also..in between only it goes off.sntimes only semi *****ion occurs.am I suffering from any disease? I never had sex ,but after marriage I had it 3-4 times wid my wife. At dat time also I took suhagra ( viagra) nd I dont like to take medicines for *****ion.i didnt consulted any doctor yet. I want to giv her full satisfaction.after medicine I sarisfied her but I am in doubts if I get used to dese medicines?. And scared from side effects. Smtimes I feel to use saandey ka tel as sm frnd told nd listend many times ,bt m not sure if it has any sideeffects and from where shud I get it.pharmacy or sm hakeem whom I cant trust.even I cant discuss dese problm with anyone. And once it happend I took suhagra nd were playing orally but still I dont get *****ion. I feel too much anxiety in heart for sex and when I masturbate I feel much satisfied.i masturbate after watching video or fotos.during masturbate also smtimes I have full *****ion bt other times partial or tk time to ***** after rubbing lot. I scared if m suffering frm erecrile dysfxn.nd m so young.i feel stressed about dis and about my performance at sex.i feel why me? Or is dis jst bcz I dont find her very sexy .though.i find her face very attractive but cant take out frm my mind dat shez fatty and her ****s are also sagging.
Though shez cute nd shy but still I feel lot of many things missing in her which a girl has ..as I seen in wid my college frnds nd colleagues. Then I start missing my gf nd shez also married now but calls me smtimes.i miss her more. I am missing love in life which m missing.i want healthy sex also in my life. Smtimes I feel like to suicide if I am not able to keep my wife happy nd not able to love her.but m bvery hopeful god will show sm way.but rite now m very depressed about my life. I want to be happy ,make my wife, my parents also happy.i am missing love in my life. I feel gud wen she cooks for me and do all things for me...but she dont know how to make her husband happy.dese things gals knw demselves...i cannot tell evrythings to her. Eshaare wo smjhti ni h,like I tell her u luking ok but will luk better in dat...den also she will do wat she want. I really need sm sincere advice for my problems so that I can live a normal life.. I like to flaunt things like putting our pucs on fb..but wo ache se rhti ni..foto sahi unki aati ni kbhi....
Dressing sense acha ni h.....

Hi Amit:

Viagra is not the solution to your problem. Lack of imagination is the answer to your D*** raising issues.

Try imagining that you are doing it with whom you fantasize, salma hayek or Aletta Ocean!

That'd solve the problem.

[o00]

Thanku for the reply..but I dont want, and I cant go with different women.i want if I can satisfied with my wife only. I dont want to ruin my marriage. How can I start liking her and dont have that physical problem also. thats the big problem. Separation or divorce is not option, I dont want to ruin her life and our families lufe miserable.,i want love in my life and I want healthy sexual life too so that we both are satisfied....both in love and physically also. And ritenow we cannot live together due to financial problem,may be in 6-7 ill try to bring her here. ....till that time I visit her regularly on weekends and I will, but I feel ashamed if I m not able to satisfy her nd myself sexually....some sort of pressure occurs on every weekend wen I have to visit her.sometimes I take viagra pills but I dont want to depend upon that...nd. Please help and provide the practical approach which can be applied in real life.no abuses please
Thank u very much

I didn't recommend you to cheat or go for other women.. I was just trying to explain what I think the reason for your ED is..

[sam_singh]

Bhai gori Chamadi and slim girls make us(Indians) go crazy and we start assuming/beliveing that our wives should look or atleast have some features from them. But in reality its not there. Indian gilrs will remain what they are(I said it in a possitive way). Its "Us", we guys who start over expecting from a sweet lady to behave like a blonde or some extra romantic girl(from out of this world).
So, over here you'll have to re-examine that what exactly you want.
And I dont think so you'll have a better/great tuning with her by just only meeting her in weekends. As guys have said above, get her to stay with you full time. Once she is with you thing will start taking shapes.
Also meanwhile(untill she gets with you), as a stupid idea, try some Desi P***. (As, you said you sometiwes go for p***)
Or ek baat, someone wise has said - Dosti or Dushmani ko waqt dena chahiye.