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Thread: In dilemma about fiancee

  1. #1
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    Default In dilemma about fiancee

    Good morning, my marriage has been fixed with a guy some 4 months back and we will get married in year end 2013. I have been with him since these 4 months, everything is so good and fine, his family is really good and he earns well also and likes me as well. i have a problem though. he fulfills my demands and keeps me happy but i am yet to see respect for me in his eyes.

    he made me meet his friends, great , fair enough but he had his hand over my shoulders all that while. i clearly disliked it. i expressed this to him later but he said he did not feel thats wrong. this is just 1 example.

    i do not feel he respects me which for me is most important. last weekend he wanted to kiss me while dropping me home after a disco party for which i refused. he got upset and did not call me till evening next day , i only called him.he should have understood that we are not married, even i feel like to kiss him but one has to be in limits.

    all these and many things are there, he may love me but not respect. i can not be with such a man. but pls tell me am i over reacting and what should i do. i am not able to breathe properly and do my things as i am too grossed with this thought.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Of course, you are overreacting! Its really nice that he feels that you belong to him and that's the reason he had his arm around you when he introduced you to his friends.
    Its very likely that he would want to kiss and caress the girl that he loves and will get married to- would you be OK if he did not express that love in a physical way. how you want to handle it- if you want to allow it or not- is your decision. But its an absolutely understandable instinct in people who love each other.

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    I really feel for the boy

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    Yes, you are overreacting !!! Stop behaving like a sati savitri !! He just want to feel comfort with you and thats why he is doing all this things. He loves you and cares for you !! So get relax, just enjoy your life in a peaceful way dear !!

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    Hi putting hands on you is ok..you must feel good for that if he feel to tell everyone that this beautiful girl is mine. About kissing thing and other closeness depends on u. Getting angry and thinking bad is not the solution, you must tell him in a manner kro thoda intezaar....you want to come closer emotionally before physical things. Girls have a kind of ada to tell these things in a pretty manner which only they know and that too without hurting. It will increase bonding also. Yaa but still if he tries to do such things which makes you feel uncomfortable you can go somewhat rude also. it all depends on the bonding you share and your way to tackle things in calm way. I dis agree with preeto mam, its your right when you want to have sex and when you feel comfortable with it.
    Hez ur fiancee but still you deserve to be treated respectfully and if he really loves you he will understand.and you must also understamd that you need to handle it in calm fashion and with time and when some romantic moment occur you can hug him yourself.

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    Young Gun IzQueen's Avatar
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    Hi dear... why are behaving like this to him.. It's not right.. I believe he loves you and respect you loads, that's why he is still here.. I mean to say if he wouldn't respect you he would have already done things which are not appropriate before marriage..!! These huggings, kissing, these casual things between lovers... When you love somone loads, you'll love every small act of touching, every small caress from your partner.. Please try to be more comfortable with him, most of all, trust him...!! You''ll feel better... I'm sure you'll experience it later..

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    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    You need your time. He is normal, you are normal for yourself, but he isn't aware of your comfort zones yet. You guys need to spend more time together and understand each other. From what you said, I don't think he doesn't respect u. Its just that he doesn't know u well.

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    SB Champion Lieutenant Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    your likes and dislikes are not clear to him mention them without any hesitation good luck

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    Rahmaniac ! Major ariesgirl's Avatar
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    he kept his hand over your shoulder infront of his friends which means he is proud to have you in his life..otherwise he wouldn't have atleast introduced you to his friends..that was the clear sign of 'see world,she is mine' and he wanted to kiss you?by the way what's wrong in it?he is your fiancee..these are little acts of expressing love..and it never means that he doesn't respect you..you're over reacting..

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    Easy, girl just breath. Itna over-reaction and attitude is not good. Use aakashwani nahi hogi ke what you like and what you don't.
    Don't take him or treat him as your boy-friend.
    Just like you he also deserve respect, to be loved Or haan agar gaalon pe ek kiss de b deti to it would have been more than satisfying for him.

    So please start having a good healthy conversation with him. Conversation will work out things between you.

  11. #11
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    Well you are over reacting , abt the limits Soon these limits would get over after marriage ... you can continue behaving like this if you dont want it ever in your life ... tell the poor guy abt ur nature and let him find a better person who understands his feelings.
    I might be sounding rude here, but really there is nothing wrong, even i am too a shy person but with a fiance, i guess kiss is not something a huge thing to make the situation worst and relationship a hell.

    hope you understand

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    SB Champion Captain miss.flintstone's Avatar
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    Damn gurl...watch out..tht u may nt loose wht u hv in search of ur kinda perfection...i mean gurls want a guy who owns a gurl wid pride,he proudly held u infront of his frnds n u r complaining...:0
    In which world u r living,kissing is a very lil condition if u hv fiance or fixed wid someone,having sex cn be a big thing bfore marriage but kissing is nothing outa which u making issue..thn why d hell u went to disc wid him....
    Stop ruining ur future,he is a gud guy...try to be flexible .
    T.care

  13. #13
    SB Guru Major sonig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Of course, you are overreacting! Its really nice that he feels that you belong to him and that's the reason he had his arm around you when he introduced you to his friends.
    Its very likely that he would want to kiss and caress the girl that he loves and will get married to- would you be OK if he did not express that love in a physical way. how you want to handle it- if you want to allow it or not- is your decision. But its an absolutely understandable instinct in people who love each other.
    i agree wid preeto mam ......u r overreacting.to be close to an extent is fine he dint crossed boundries he was being normal wid u like most couples, .....he dint had bad intentions.develp a better understanding between u both ......
    Every time I hear your voice, I hear another reason to keep
    you forever -

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    GOD SAVE US MEN..FROM GIRLS LIKE YOU.. UR NOT AN EASY GOING GIRL FOR SURE..I SUGGEST HE SUD DUMP U ASAP, ELSE U WILL MAKE UR ND HIS LIFE MISERABLE.

  15. #15
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    I am the girl who asked this question and i am really not that bad a person as many have made me here. i love my fiancee a lot and i am into love with him. I just refused to kiss him and people said that he should dump me , i am miserable person and i show attitude to him.

    With all due respect to everyone what rubbish is this, you mean i will show attitude to my to be husband. i really am disappointed that many of you misunderstood me and went on to call my fiancee unfortunate to have a girl like me.

    Still a million thanks for answering the querry. specially to preeto maam,lifesite , ariesgirl, iz queen , ooo and flintstone. i am sorry if i have hurt anyone here but mr barbosa i do not deserved to be dumped from his life as he knows how much i love him and he knows me well.

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