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Thread: Dealing with the stress of not able to have a kid

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    Unhappy Dealing with the stress of not able to have a kid

    Hi I posted a message as a guest yesterday.. don't know where it disappeared..

    I am 32 years old, have been married for the past 8 years. I have great husband and in laws. Now coming to our problem, I have had multiple miscarriages and we are patiently waiting for our first kid. Let me tell one thing, I am (or rather was ) a person with a positive mind set. Even after all these years, I had not given up the hope of being a mom. Also thankfully my husband is very much understanding, he is always with me through all the ups and downs.

    My little sister has become pregnant and trust me I am very happy for her, but it hurts me somewhere inside when everybody seems to be asking me lot of questions regarding what is wrong blah blah blah. I have always tried to stay away from such talks but some how these days I end up getting questioned because my sis is pregnant.

    I really don’t know how to deal with this pressure, its really killing me..

    Could anybody give me some advice ?

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! I assume that you've been to the doctors since you've had multiple miscarriages. What is his diagnosis? If the doc says that its a matter of time and patience, then a happy positive attitude- that you've had so far- will go a long way in getting you a happy baby. I understand that you feel a bit bad as well as being thrilled for your sister- but hey! There's a baby coming to the family, right?

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    Ex - terminating the Ex.. Lieutenant-Colonel Colonel Hannibal Smith's Avatar
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    u need to start tellin the exact same thing to d pressure creators n fun scavenging relatives ,''I hv a great husband n m extremely positive about having a baby someday!!''
    u can talk to ur husband about how u feel, sometimes d partner's support n care is d biggest strength one could hv.
    rest, I wish u motherhood n happiness urself soon!
    i gotta feelin'...dat tonite's gonna be a good nite..dat tonite's gonna be a gud gud nite!

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    Bigg Boss Specialist ;) Colonel shivani2121's Avatar
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    If u have had multiple miscarriages it cud be a weak uterus or sumthing ..
    please go for a thorough check up and u can also think of ways like Surrogacy .... don't pity yourself ..
    try n try till u succeed

    I feel Alive ... Its Awesome

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    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    Your gynecologist will be a better person to comment on your chances of pregnancy in near future. If there is any problem, then don't waste time and go for the other options they suggest.

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    PGCAI

    Peoples Group for Child Adoption in India. Why not adopt rather than add to our growing population

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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Hi! I assume that you've been to the doctors since you've had multiple miscarriages. What is his diagnosis? If the doc says that its a matter of time and patience, then a happy positive attitude- that you've had so far- will go a long way in getting you a happy baby. I understand that you feel a bit bad as well as being thrilled for your sister- but hey! There's a baby coming to the family, right?
    Thank you very much for the reply.

    Yes, I have been to doctors, plenty of them actually. Well its nothing related to the uterus/ovaries/tubes etc.. they say may be the foetus had some genetic defect and that could be the reason for the miscarriages. I underwent an IVF in January, had conceived, but then suffered a miscarriage. Planning to undergo another IVF next month. Hoping and praying everything goes well.


    - the bold part - Yes thats exactly how I feel. Feeling bad its not happening with me and yet thrilled my sis is having a baby. Hoping everything goes well next month..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Colonel Hannibal Smith View Post
    u need to start tellin the exact same thing to d pressure creators n fun scavenging relatives ,''I hv a great husband n m extremely positive about having a baby someday!!''
    u can talk to ur husband about how u feel, sometimes d partner's support n care is d biggest strength one could hv.
    rest, I wish u motherhood n happiness urself soon!
    Thank you very much for the reply. I really want to say that but always hold back thinking "will i sound rude" .. just wondering if its okay to say that to relatives..some of then can be very nosy..

    Yes thank fully my husband is with me through it all.. only issues which I face is when I need to go to these various family functions, which god only knows happen like every other day or so I guess. For the past 2 months I literally stopped going to all of them after suffering miscarriage coz dealing with that itself is tough.. I didn't want to deal with others asking me about it..

    Thank you so much for ur sincere wishes, may God bless you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shivani2121 View Post
    If u have had multiple miscarriages it cud be a weak uterus or sumthing ..
    please go for a thorough check up and u can also think of ways like Surrogacy .... don't pity yourself ..
    try n try till u succeed

    Uterus is fine friend.. have undergone multiple tests.. doctor says that mine is a relatively easy case and he is hopeful of me conceiving. I just need to be a lot patient. and that is what is troubling me these days.. I should avoid meeting troublesome relatives I guess.. then I will be fine..

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    Quote Originally Posted by o00 View Post
    Your gynecologist will be a better person to comment on your chances of pregnancy in near future. If there is any problem, then don't waste time and go for the other options they suggest.
    Yes, I have already undergone IVF. Going to undergo yet another one by the middle of next month probably. Praying everything goes well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Logical_Guru View Post
    PGCAI

    Peoples Group for Child Adoption in India. Why not adopt rather than add to our growing population
    That is something I am open to but my hubby is not and I am not sure why.. should try discussing about it more I guess.. I just don't want to bug him. If all the doors close, then may be he will start thinking about it. Until then.. planning to continue this tricky (yet fulfilling )journey

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    Hi..!! whatever you are feeling is normal, but you are very lucky to get such a good husband.. I can suggest you to go to gynecologist.. You can start a treatment.. Maybe your body is lacking something, I mean to say it maybe vitamins.. He/she will guide you.. And there are many ways where your doctor can help you in all that matter... Move on!! Start your treatment.. If you had miscarriage, that means you can get pregnant, somewhere your body is not able to resist it... there are also injection that are used in such case.. I know someone who had the same problem as yours... Today she's fine and pregnant too.. Best of luck..!!!

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    Bigg Boss Specialist ;) Colonel shivani2121's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Musical View Post
    Uterus is fine friend.. have undergone multiple tests.. doctor says that mine is a relatively easy case and he is hopeful of me conceiving. I just need to be a lot patient. and that is what is troubling me these days.. I should avoid meeting troublesome relatives I guess.. then I will be fine..

    All the best dear person .. IVF's are very taxing on mental as well as physical wellness .. Be strong since the success rate is 20% or so ... Just be happy and make an atmosphere conducive for best results.
    Best Wishes always
    I feel Alive ... Its Awesome

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    Quote Originally Posted by Musical View Post
    That is something I am open to but my hubby is not and I am not sure why.. should try discussing about it more I guess.. I just don't want to bug him. If all the doors close, then may be he will start thinking about it. Until then.. planning to continue this tricky (yet fulfilling )journey
    Dear Musical,

    I do not want to sound as an activist out here. I am also not against those mighty gynaec's who mint money in assisted pregnancies.
    IVF is not a simple process and it is tough for the mother. Your husband is really being insensitive here. You take so many hormones to simulate the pregnancy and I know of several cases where the mother ends up with a chronic ailment. (Severe back pain for example)

    Also, IVF generally results in multiple pregnancies. My friend had 3 and is having a nightmare.

    I am not forcing you to adopt, but just become a member of the forum to try and experience a new world out there (www.pgcai.org) Moderators are kindly requested to allow the URL

    Good luck

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