Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: I promised her marriage

  1. #1
    Unregistered
    Guest

    Default I promised her marriage

    Dear Madam,

    I am a 30 years old guy and I met a girl on matrimonial site for marriage purpose. Though I didn't like her profile at that time but we kept in touch through chats, phone calls, sms. I also met her a couple of times. And, during first month itself I committed her for marriage. Things went fine for around 6 months but now I am feeling that I am not comfortable with her by her nature. She is quite adamant, loses temper frequently and always tries to prove herself right through one reasoning or the other even when she knows that she is not right at some places. Also, being career oriented she doesn't give importance to household work etc. Now, I find it very difficult to spend my whole life with her but I feel that it would be wrong with her if I will not marry her since I have committed her and only then she moved ahead with me in the life. I know it was my mistake to commit so early for marriage without knowing a person thoroughly. I am totally confused what to do should I marry her or not? If I don't marry her, I feel bad for her and if I marry her, then I find it difficult to get adjustment with her. I told this to her too and she said that I have cheated her and I know that it was not my intention at all.

    Please provide your valuable opinion.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,512
    Rep Power
    56

    Default

    Whatever you did was right. If you feel that you dont like her and can't live with her, then better don't marry her. You DID NOT cheat her. Yours intentions were not bad.

  3. #3
    New Born
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New Delhi
    Posts
    69
    Rep Power
    54

    Default

    Dude, i know it's hard to survive with women who know how to prove themselves right by hook or by crook.

    But this is also about your life and your family life. If you believe and mind the word, " believe and not think " that this girl isn't gonnna adjust herself, then no point in marrying and having fights every night in the bed

  4. #4
    ||||--MAN OF STEEL--|||| Colonel BADINDIAN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Next to that thing...near that thing right after that thing....
    Posts
    14,900
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by o00 View Post
    Whatever you did was right. If you feel that you dont like her and can't live with her, then better don't marry her. You DID NOT cheat her. Yours intentions were not bad.


    and moreover, think about yourself...

    If you don't marry her, the guilt might haunt you for a month...2 at most!
    If you DO...pretty much your whole life is flushed down the gutter...now I don't know what kind of girl she is...maybe she's wonderful...but marrying a person you are not gonna be happy with is a recipe for disaster!
    I Don't Exactly Hate you!
    However, if you were on fire, and I had water,
    I'd drink it!


  5. #5
    Bigg Boss Specialist ;) Colonel shivani2121's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    õñ þlåñê† Èår†h
    Posts
    17,579
    Rep Power
    98

    Default

    Aaghaz ye hai toh anjaam kya hoga ?? Do u want to live a bitter life ? .. Break the news to her and tell her things are not working out and you are not ready for marriage at all and u need to introspect . There will be fireworks but face it and don't be cowered down . It's ur life and u r the best judge .If u have this feeling that u cant live with such an such person .. acknowledge it .After all its the next 40 /50 years of ur life

    I feel Alive ... Its Awesome

  6. #6
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    god's own country!
    Posts
    8,781
    Rep Power
    79

    Default

    life is just once..what you did is right..you never cheated on her..if you know that you won't be happy with her,just don't go further..you'll end up repenting through out your life..such a marriage would adversely affect you,her and both the families..

  7. #7
    SB Champion Lieutenant Inspector Pathan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Edgware Road
    Posts
    1,112
    Rep Power
    54

    Default

    you mentioned to her what was going wrong enough you have all the right to say no.....

  8. #8
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,027
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Well, if you had waited to get to know her better, this situation would not have occurred. look, to her it may well appear that you have been unfair to her- she has been true to her nature- its just that you did not wait to discover it before you went ahead with the proposal. And it was under those circumstances that she went ahead with her relationship with you, so that is a responsibility that you cannot shake off.
    Having said that, if you feel that you are both incompatible, then maybe its better that you break off now- but next time don't be in such a hurry.

  9. #9
    New Born kruz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Mumbai, India
    Posts
    5
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Dude..

    Chill.. no need to feel guilty.. Trust me u will be doing the right thing by not marrying her..

    That will save both ur lives and save trouble for ur families...

    Its not that u ever had a bad intention.. its just that u have realised way earlier than what most people realise after getting married...

    Although i would suggest u handle the situation in the most gentle manner without criticizing her..

    All de Best.. God Bless..

  10. #10
    Young Gun IzQueen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    hmmm.. Secret
    Posts
    200
    Rep Power
    55

    Default

    Well..!! I can tell you before you commit anything to anyone, do think hundred of times before... Because I consider however the person maybe, good or bad at nature after all he/she has a heart... You have promised her of marriage, she must have already started dreaming about her marriage and all.. it's normal.. but on the other side, if you are not comfortable with her, better you clear all things before you take another step... Well, there are different ways:- You can explain her what kind of girl you expect to be as your wife.. her attitude and manners and all... If she's still the same then better move on else in future you'll suffer... Why am asking you to try once, because you had already committed her for marriage, so that later she won't complain to anyone that you haven't given a chance to your relationship... Now it all depends on you..!!

  11. #11
    SB Addict Shravan6886's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    881
    Rep Power
    85

    Default

    Well, decision is your's, so think whether feeling bad for her(whom u might not even see after break up) is better or feeling bad for urself(u can't let ur self go anywhere).

    Choice is simple just taking stand is important.

    Thinking about a decision u r about to make when both the choices are good is wise, but thinking about making a choice when u know one is good and the other's not is foolishness.

  12. #12
    «╬♥ßÁÐ ßŐŶ Őℱ Śß♥╬« Major RS777's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Tiger`s Den
    Posts
    5,002
    Rep Power
    94

    Default

    6 months & u were just chatting on phone give me a break man u didn`t tell ur physically involved with her it took 6 months to know her pathetic cheater
    I Am Free Of All Prejudice. I Hate Everyone Equally.

  13. #13
    SB Champion Lieutenant
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,139
    Rep Power
    88

    Default

    really don't think that you did anything wrong because you did not marry her you only committed and you can't live with her so why distroy her lfe and yours.

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Dear Madam,

    I am a 30 years old guy and I met a girl on matrimonial site for marriage purpose. Though I didn't like her profile at that time but we kept in touch through chats, phone calls, sms. I also met her a couple of times. And, during first month itself I committed her for marriage. Things went fine for around 6 months but now I am feeling that I am not comfortable with her by her nature. She is quite adamant, loses temper frequently and always tries to prove herself right through one reasoning or the other even when she knows that she is not right at some places. Also, being career oriented she doesn't give importance to household work etc. Now, I find it very difficult to spend my whole life with her but I feel that it would be wrong with her if I will not marry her since I have committed her and only then she moved ahead with me in the life. I know it was my mistake to commit so early for marriage without knowing a person thoroughly. I am totally confused what to do should I marry her or not? If I don't marry her, I feel bad for her and if I marry her, then I find it difficult to get adjustment with her. I told this to her too and she said that I have cheated her and I know that it was not my intention at all.

    Please provide your valuable opinion.

    Thanks.

  14. #14
    New Born Helping Hand !'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    43
    Rep Power
    53

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Dear Madam,

    I am a 30 years old guy and I met a girl on matrimonial site for marriage purpose. Though I didn't like her profile at that time but we kept in touch through chats, phone calls, sms. I also met her a couple of times. And, during first month itself I committed her for marriage. Things went fine for around 6 months but now I am feeling that I am not comfortable with her by her nature. She is quite adamant, loses temper frequently and always tries to prove herself right through one reasoning or the other even when she knows that she is not right at some places. Also, being career oriented she doesn't give importance to household work etc. Now, I find it very difficult to spend my whole life with her but I feel that it would be wrong with her if I will not marry her since I have committed her and only then she moved ahead with me in the life. I know it was my mistake to commit so early for marriage without knowing a person thoroughly. I am totally confused what to do should I marry her or not? If I don't marry her, I feel bad for her and if I marry her, then I find it difficult to get adjustment with her. I told this to her too and she said that I have cheated her and I know that it was not my intention at all.

    Please provide your valuable opinion.

    Thanks.
    There is no mention of you having s e x.

    There is no mention of any function taking place where you exchanged rings as engagement.

    There is no mention of any gathering where your elders met to discuss marriage [len-den etc]

    In such a case, there is nothing to worry legally.

    If you did hide certain things like what I've mentioned above, then trouble might be just around the corner. A 498a with cheating case for sure.


  15. #15
    New Born
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    10
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    dont marry if you dont like the girland in future dont make promises which you cant fulfill..

Similar Threads

  1. ~~~ What God Has Promised ~~~
    By queeni in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 13-10-2009, 10:09 AM
  2. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 31-08-2009, 08:25 PM
  3. Tomorrow is Not Promised !
    By ignoramusenator in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-07-2008, 10:50 AM
  4. Replies: 19
    Last Post: 25-03-2008, 12:20 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •