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Thread: Stuck with a woman of very low IQ

  1. #1
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    Default Stuck with a woman of very low IQ

    I am a 35yr old man. I got married to a woman of my age. Before marriage, she seemed to be fairly normal but now after spending a month with her I got to understand that she has a very poor memory and very less IQ. She does not understand basic addition, subtraction and simple calculations in maths, neither does she know how and what to speak in front of outsiders. Since it was an arranged marriage we could meet only 3-4 times before marriage that too both us being from different cities our courtship period was very less. I got her checked with a psychologist who came to the conclusion that she has score of IQ which is just borderline between poor and mental retardation. I do not wish to continue with her anymore as I neither have the time, money or the energy to go for a prolonged psychological treatment over a period of 1.5-2yrs to see any improvement. That too the psychologist is not guaranteeing me anything, it is an effort which can be tried and chances are she may or may not improve. It is nothing more than a chance. Her parents passed her off as a BA graduate though in front of the psychologist she admitted that she had not even cleared her class X. I feel cheated big time but am not sure if I file a case for divorce will legal options be favourable to me at this point. Since she is not mentally retarded she has the ability to lie and manipulate things to suit herself and hence my query is under what grounds will I be able to get a divorce from her? Please treat this as urgent as I am a completely shattered person at this point in time.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    OK, for this query, I think you will have to get yourself a good lawyer. it seems like you have divorce on your mind, and the clinical findings of the doctor plus the fact that you were deceived by the family who gave you false information, should work in your favour.
    But anyhow, you need to meet up with a lawyer for consultation for the next step.

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    HI,

    Actually you do ahve right to divorce her if all that you say is true.. It is actually better for you to leave her right now rather than suffer entire life with regre.. Like ma'am said consult a lawyer & do it legally.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    radiant light ! Captain ariesgirl's Avatar
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    go ahead with legal formalities...support and prayers..

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    It's hardly been a month, go for Annulment rather than the Divorce. Two grounds (fraud, unsound mind) can be used however it looks as if you may need a very good lawyer to fight it out in your favor. Good luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by artonsenna View Post
    I am a 35yr old man. I got married to a woman of my age. Before marriage, she seemed to be fairly normal but now after spending a month with her I got to understand that she has a very poor memory and very less IQ. She does not understand basic addition, subtraction and simple calculations in maths, neither does she know how and what to speak in front of outsiders. Since it was an arranged marriage we could meet only 3-4 times before marriage that too both us being from different cities our courtship period was very less. I got her checked with a psychologist who came to the conclusion that she has score of IQ which is just borderline between poor and mental retardation. I do not wish to continue with her anymore as I neither have the time, money or the energy to go for a prolonged psychological treatment over a period of 1.5-2yrs to see any improvement. That too the psychologist is not guaranteeing me anything, it is an effort which can be tried and chances are she may or may not improve. It is nothing more than a chance. Her parents passed her off as a BA graduate though in front of the psychologist she admitted that she had not even cleared her class X. I feel cheated big time but am not sure if I file a case for divorce will legal options be favourable to me at this point. Since she is not mentally retarded she has the ability to lie and manipulate things to suit herself and hence my query is under what grounds will I be able to get a divorce from her? Please treat this as urgent as I am a completely shattered person at this point in time.
    Lawyer here.

    So you want divorce.

    Divorce you wont get that easily that too from a cunning woman. Just read through.

    Grounds for Divorce in India

    The secular mind-set of the Indian judicial system has initiated proclamation of various personal laws based on different religious faiths. Hindus, Christians and Muslims are governed under separate marriage acts and grounds for divorce in India.

    1.
    Grounds for Divorce under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955
    The following are the grounds for divorce in India mentioned under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955.

    Adultery
    – The act of indulging in any kind of sexual relationship including intercourse outside marriage is termed as adultery. Adultery is counted as a criminal offence and substantial proofs are required to establish it. An amendment to the law in 1976 states that one single act of adultery is enough for the petitioner to get a divorce.

    Cruelty
    – A spouse can file a divorce case when he/she is subjected to any kind of mental and physical injury that causes danger to life, limb and health. The intangible acts of cruelty through mental torture are not judged upon one single act but series of incidents. Certain instances like the food being denied, continuous ill treatment and abuses to acquire dowry, perverse sexual act etc are included under cruelty.

    Desertion
    – If one of the spouses voluntarily abandons his/her partner for at least a period of two years, the abandoned spouse can file a divorce case on the ground of desertion.

    Conversion
    – Incase either of the two converts himself/herself into another religion, the other spouse may file a divorce case based on this ground.

    Mental Disorder
    – Mental disorder can become a ground for filing a divorce if the spouse of the petitioner suffers from incurable mental disorder and insanity and therefore cannot be expected from the couple to stay together.

    Leprosy
    – In case of a ‘virulent and incurable’ form of leprosy, a petition can be filed by the other spouse based on this ground.

    Venereal Disease
    – If one of the spouses is suffering from a serious disease that is easily communicable, a divorce can be filed by the other spouse. The sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS are accounted to be venereal diseases.

    Renunciation
    – A spouse is entitled to file for a divorce if the other renounces all worldly affairs by embracing a religious order.

    Not Heard Alive
    – If a person is not seen or heard alive by those who are expected to be ‘naturally heard’ of the person for a continuous period of seven years, the person is presumed to be dead. The other spouse should need to file a divorce if he/she is interested in remarriage.

    No Resumption of Co-habitation
    – It becomes a ground for divorce if the couple fails to resume their co-habitation after the court has passed a decree of separation.

    2. Grounds for Divorce under the Dissolution of Muslim Marriage act, 1939
    Based on the Dissolution of Muslim Marriage Act, 1939, a Muslim woman can seek divorce on the following grounds for divorce in India.
    · The husband’s whereabouts are unknown for a period of four years.
    · The husband has failed to provide maintenance to the wife for at least two years.
    · The husband has been under imprisonment for seven or more years.
    · The husband is unable to meet the marital obligations.
    · If the girl is married before fifteen and decides to end the relationship before she turns eighteen.
    · The husband indulges in acts of cruelty.

    3. Grounds for Divorce under the Indian Divorce Act, 1869
    The following are the grounds of divorce mentioned under the Indian Divorce Act, 1869.
    · Adultery
    · Conversion to another religion
    · One of the couples suffering from an unsound mind, leprosy or communicable venereal disease for at least two years before the filing of the divorce.
    · Not been seen or heard alive for a period of seven or more years.
    · Failure in observing the restitution of conjugal rights for at least two years.
    · Inflicting cruelty and giving rise to mental anxiety that can be injurious to health and life.
    · Wife can file a divorce based on the grounds of rape, sodomy and bestiality.
    4. Grounds for Divorce under the Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act, 1936 (Amendment 1988)
    The following are the grounds for divorce in India included in the Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act, 1936 and the amendment of the same in 1988.
    · Continuous absence of seven years.
    · Non-consummation of marriage within one year.
    · Unsound mind provided the other spouse was unaware of the fact at the time of marriage and the divorce must be filed within three years of marriage.
    · Pregnancy by some other man, provided the husband was unaware of the incident during the time of marriage and that he must not have undergone sexual intercourse after he came to know about the situation. The divorce must be filed within two years of marriage.
    · Adultery, bigamy, fornication, rape, or any other type of perverse sexual act.
    · Act of cruelty
    · Suffering from venereal disease or forcing the wife into prostitution.
    · Sentenced to prison for seven years or more
    · Desertion for two or more years
    · Non-resumption of cohabitation after passing an order of maintenance or a decree of judicial separation.

    Here, what is of concern would be the one typed in blue, which is Mental Disorder

    What would it take to prove the mental disorder?

    Complete case history, prescriptions, all from a certified psychologist/psychiatrist. Court will cross examine such factual evidences with a CMO and related govt. psychiatrist. And it should be proven beyond doubt that her mental illness cannot be cured.

    As she is of the lying types, she can fool the CMO or govt psychiatrists withing seconds by the points you have told in your query, and if that be the case, your divorce petition will fall flat.

    Though you have been cheated in a way, once you marry a woman, it is very difficult to get a divorce provided any of the above are proved.

    Keep in touch for further advice.

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    Default Not justified

    4 meetings are very much enuf to know a person if there is conversation involved in these 4 meetings basic knowledge and iq level can easily be known, i suggest get ur iq checked as well how u cudnt figure this out in these 4 meetings !

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    Dear, I think Micheal Barbosa is right 4 meetings are enough to judge a person's IQ level & there are always phone conversation as well to know a person better before marriage , I think you should not leave hope and find some treatment for this problem (IF YOU LOVE HER) ...I think its a little unfair to your wife if you only wanna go for legal action against her..... I think that you too are equally responsible for this situation in your life today ...

  9. #9
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    Well, filling a divorce just b'coz the woman is not capable enough to understand few basic things is not justifiable...i am sorry but not going against anybody.
    what I am trying to explain here is, why not you take the initiative and start training your wife, anyways it's not her fault.
    If a woman can spend her entire life with some drunkard or a disable person or anyone who lacks some of her requirements, then why being a man we cant?
    God bless you two.

  10. #10
    SB Wizard Captain himansh's Avatar
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    i agree with last three comments, no one in this world is perfect what seems to you a big problem may not be a problem at all if you know how to handle it

  11. #11
    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    Maybe she is normal and your expectations and the ways to judge her are abnormal..

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