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Thread: Husband keeps cd of ex

  1. #1
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    Default Husband keeps cd of ex

    Hi all. Thank you for all the help and sugestions you provide to people who have problems.
    my problem can sound bit silly. I have been married 2 years and before that we was dating for 1.5 year and know him as a friend for 3 years before. total 6 years i know my husband.i know he was in many relationship before me and they were very close and intimate.i have been in relationshiip before, but not got intimate out of choice.i do not bother about his past.my problem is receantly when cleaning the house i found a old CD named-my life.i think it was our pictures i watched it.but it was picture and email and video of his ex.i knew everything about that.but still read all of it
    i felt bit hurt at begin because he cared for and called her same romantic names he calls me.and the cd was wrote 6 months after we started dating.then i remember that he was honest about it from the begin so i ignored it.
    receantly on a picnic with my BFFs, i spoke about this.they tell me it is strange he still has saved this cd.i said it is possibl he forgot he had this.but they are not convinced that he needed to save all his old memories.some of the mail are very discriptive and intimated,but not dirty things stored in cd.it is true that it hurted me to see them together and very close.
    now i am confused.i dont want to tell my hubby that i see his cd as he will not trust me again.but the mails and pictures of them close disturb me all time.i am getting very stressed and upset
    please tell me what to do.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! How about telling him that you found the CD and saw it out of curiosity and now you are feeling hurt about it? See, its all right to bring it out in the open rather than fee bad and discuss this with other people. Let him explain how come he had the cd- even if its a biot unpleasant, at least it will be out and over and done with!

  3. #3
    Ex - terminating the Ex.. Lieutenant-Colonel Colonel Hannibal Smith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi all. Thank you for all the help and sugestions you provide to people who have problems.
    my problem can sound bit silly. I have been married 2 years and before that we was dating for 1.5 year and know him as a friend for 3 years before. total 6 years i know my husband.i know he was in many relationship before me and they were very close and intimate.i have been in relationshiip before, but not got intimate out of choice.i do not bother about his past.my problem is receantly when cleaning the house i found a old CD named-my life.i think it was our pictures i watched it.but it was picture and email and video of his ex.i knew everything about that.but still read all of it
    i felt bit hurt at begin because he cared for and called her same romantic names he calls me.and the cd was wrote 6 months after we started dating.then i remember that he was honest about it from the begin so i ignored it.
    receantly on a picnic with my BFFs, i spoke about this.they tell me it is strange he still has saved this cd.i said it is possibl he forgot he had this.but they are not convinced that he needed to save all his old memories.some of the mail are very discriptive and intimated,but not dirty things stored in cd.it is true that it hurted me to see them together and very close.
    now i am confused.i dont want to tell my hubby that i see his cd as he will not trust me again.but the mails and pictures of them close disturb me all time.i am getting very stressed and upset
    please tell me what to do.
    there's nothin wrong in keepin d cd of an ex..
    she was a part of her life n some ppl like to remember their past.
    if u r bothered about d fact dat it was written 6 months post u guys started datin, maybe he still wasn't over her back then.
    he married u n loves u right now, dat gal is just d past n nothin as of 2day.

    either u can trust his loyalty n d strength of ur marriage n stop thinkin about it, else talk to him n tell him u r saddened,, & he ll destroy d cd in front of u.
    dont hold it inside u n trouble ur relationship by lettin it occupy ur mind all d time.
    Asshole meets good girl → fcuks her over → She turns into a b!tch → She meets a good guy → fcuks him over → He turns into an asshole!

  4. #4
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    I would feel extremely bad if i get married and my hubby has a cd of his ex... if it was kept long ago when our relationship started i would have let go... but if he kept it up to date, then this would have really hurt me... i wouldn't have been able to accept this. in your place i would have been frank with him and ask him why the cd is still here... because personally, i cant let a person make me feel like this...

    i think you can talk to him politely in the right way of course if that disturb you. for me its unacceptable for a hubby to still keep things of his ex and i guess its like this for any girl!
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

  5. #5
    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    Talk to him, ask him to destroy all his past memories as you are not comfortble with him having those.

  6. #6
    Young Gun IzQueen's Avatar
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    You should talk to your hubby about this matter... Tell him the truth and according to me, if he really loves you and he cares about your feelings, he'll surely notice that you are at ease with the presence of this cd.. He'll surely destroy it.. Do talk to him about the cd.. Maybe he forgot to destroy that cd...

  7. #7
    New Born kruz's Avatar
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    dear..

    its just a cd of his past.. as u already said u knew everything abt him and he has always been honest with u.. its not that he has hidden facts of his life..

    c'mmon for God sake.. the guy is honest.. respect that fact.. its possible he has not even seen this cd since ages... and doesn't give a damn about that cd anymore (which i m sure)... coz if he really did, then trust me u would have never found out this cd, ever..

    and what difference will it make if u confront him and force him to destroy it..? u will simply put him on an extra alert mode.. the result would be that he will start hiding stuff which he may think will hurt u or disturb u... Even slightest of doubt in your mind will upset ur beautiful relationship..

    and with respect to same romantic names - pls dont ever bother ur self with that stuff... there are hardly few romantic names that can b used and most are often repeated.. every guy n gal in their relationships have repeated such names...

    with utmost respect, i would say, forget the cd.. stop hurting urself.. get on with ur beautiful life.. enjoy ur present life... and cherish the fact that he doesn't give a damn abt the cd.. u can count on me for that...

    All de Best, God Bless...

  8. #8
    The Game is ON !!!! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    Burn the CD ....Hahaha(evil laugh) .....He doesn't need it....so you need to do the honors...

    Also I mean burn the CD literally....like with fire....not burn any data into the CD......
    NOW YOU SEE ME
    Now you don't

  9. #9
    SB Addict Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    get rid of the cd if he hasn't no need to tell him what you found absorb it everything will be fine discussing the matter with him will make the situation unpleasant

  10. #10
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    lady, the way i am seeing it your husband isn't cheating on u. And you said that it is an old cd like 3 yrs old. Ask yourself have u ever felt that your husband doesn't love u or is cheating on u or is lying to u ? if no, then trust him.

    And please don't bring your BFF b/w you and your husband. a relation b/w a man and his wife sometimes gets spoiled too easily courtesy of some such small stupidities .

    But still if u want to know the origin, do one thing watch that Cd with him. i know what i'm telling you is very crazy but it's the best way. And keep telling your hubby that wow i didn't know that u could do this, you could do that. Flattery always works. And i might suggest that you wear an overshirt and a shorts that comes just 5-6 inch below your butt and keep cuddling him. Don't wear the bra, so u can excite him even more. Keep your hair loose and smooth and silky

    You guys might go into your bed and have some sex, so be ready for it and enjoy it

    All the best and let me know what happens in your relation

    Dr. Gautam

  11. #11
    SB Addict Neha1's Avatar
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    Thumbs up If he loves u

    Ur hubby wil surely destroy it once u let him kno tht u feeling about it.but he doesnt destroy it then sorry to say he still misses his ex.

  12. #12
    SB Addict RoleModel007's Avatar
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    It is 'an electronically scaled semi autobiography'. You know the stuff during our old age we look back and have a laugh about. No harm done here and you are obviously over-thinking this stuff. So get over it.

  13. #13
    SB Guru Major sonig's Avatar
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    u knw u hv said yourself tht he was being true to u from starting bout his past ........ Its natural tht u feel hurt after watching his cd with his ex bt evn u know tht it was his past.....
    dont think bout wat hapend in the past bt remember your future thts hapy and filled with love .....dont spoil it with your thinking bout all this.
    Every time I hear your voice, I hear another reason to keep
    you forever -

  14. #14
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    Ok, here is what I think about this whole scenario:

    1. You are feeling hurt after finding a CD of your husband's ex ----> NORMAL

    2. You talked with your friend about it -----> NORMAL

    3. Your husband is still having CDs of his ex after marriage ------> ABSOLUTELY NOT NORMAL

    4. You talking with your husband about it ------> NORMAL

    Look, keeping CDs of ex is not like a trophy. He should have destroyed it once that relationship was over. In my opinion, it is somewhat disrespect to you. You should talk with him and let him know how you feel. And do not mention that you have already talked with your friend about it. Marriage is all about LOVE, CARE and RESPECT for each other. And, mostly people forget the RESPECT aspect here.

    ** Some people here commenting like "what is a big deal if he has the CD of his ex"... Come on guys, if you are in relationship and your partner's ex "LIKE" his or her photo or even comments on FB, I am sure you will not take it easy and start having doubts about your partner. Before giving any advice please put yourself in the same situation and then think.

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