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Thread: I've made a terrible mistake

  1. #1
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    Default I've made a terrible mistake

    Dear Preeto,

    I am currently in a relationship with a guy. Its a long distance relationship-hes in London studying. Things are not that pleasant in my relationship. When things go good they are good and when they go bad - its terrible. It is a commitment for marriage and hes planning to sent his family and even coming back for the whole marriage thing but lately i have been wondering that this is not the kind of marriage i would want. I would not want to fight with my spouse all the time. Even a small argument with him turns into a huge fight and then he abuses and say terrible things ( hes the commanding and dominating type and doesn't allow me to lead anything ) . When things were good between us he asked for my Nude pictures- i was reluctant like any other person would be not sure if i want to marry him or not. With a lot of forcing and tons of emotional talk he made me do it later promising that he will delete them. At that time i was sure i ll marry him. for the past several months i have made my mind that i don't wish to marry him- tried to tell this to him a couple of times while we were fighting . And like expected he has actually started to blackmail me ( dint come as surprise though ). Giving him hints that i m not happy with him and that both of us don't deserve to lead such marital life makes him completely out of control and he threats me that i should do this and he will not spare me for ruining his life and wasting his time and jeopardizing his future as hes leaving London and coming back just to marry me and that he was so loyal and faithful that even being in a long distance relationship never thought of having an affair or even flirting. I know his anger and i know what extent he'll go to make my life hell once i leave him. I m completely stuck because of my own faults. I have tried talking to him calmly and nicely but nothing works with him. Please assist ! Thanks .


    Regards,
    Dina

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi!
    Well Dina, its obvious that you will not marry him since you seem to be in fear of him and there does not seem too much love lost either. See, since there is an engagement in place, I think that you can share your dilemma with an adult in your family and they should communicate with his family that the proposed relationship is not going to work. They should also mention those pictures and that they should not be misused but deleted forever (though I doubt that will happen) Anyway, at least you will have the support of your family.
    Really, you girls read and see so much about this sort of stuff, but even then you WILL put yourselves in this position time after time.
    Anyway, be wise and get some mature, adult help and intervention on this issue.

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    radiant light ! Captain ariesgirl's Avatar
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    marrying him is never an option..we clearly understand that love doesn't exist between you both and this guy doesn't seem like a gentleman too..marrying him just for the sake of something is worth regretting..i hope he wouldn't misuse the photo...and i'm not sure if he would come to your home with his family..if he does,tell your parents that you aren't interested in this..tell him that you don't think both of you can lead a happy life together..(tell him personally that you don't wanna lead a loveless married life..and then fall for someone else in future and make things worse)

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    :: The Zenith :: Lieutenant-Colonel
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    The blame is completely upon you from all sides.. Why do you girls lose interest in your BFs so easily?? Agreed that he might be dominating and quarrelsome, but quarrels happen in every relationship.. You need to be mature enough to handle them.. That poor guy has struggled to maintain a long distance relationship, is even willing to send his parents and come down to you to marry you. What else do you want from a guy?? Why does the first flush of love fades away so easily and you girls start disliking your partners?? Make amends and marry him.

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    Not bending before him and showing yourself unscared is the key.
    I mean you can threaten him in return that once he dare to show your pics in public to defame you...than you'll be left with no other option but to make his life hell in return(*** for tat). As we all know that blackmailers never stop, the more you'll bend the more further they'll make you grin....so be smart, use your brain and play your cards. I really don't see, how you can't make him eat his own words....

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    New Born dusk's Avatar
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    Dear Dina, firstly it was or mistake to send him those pics, but now you have only one option, don't bent before him. Either be smooth with him for sometime and get those pics n delete them or be very rigid with him n if he says he will publically use them then record his call tell him u will go to police n he will be finished. God bless

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    Quote Originally Posted by complete_man View Post
    The blame is completely upon you from all sides.. Why do you girls lose interest in your BFs so easily?? Agreed that he might be dominating and quarrelsome, but quarrels happen in every relationship.. You need to be mature enough to handle them.. That poor guy has struggled to maintain a long distance relationship, is even willing to send his parents and come down to you to marry you. What else do you want from a guy?? Why does the first flush of love fades away so easily and you girls start disliking your partners?? Make amends and marry him.

    he is not a very poor guy ... threatening to publish nude pictures of a girl...
    rather a calculating maniac

    lady plz reply if u have some ancestral property or likely to inherit some in future

    in that case the guy is only after that....

    take your mom and sis in confidence

    and plz do record his threats ...

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    ♡♥☋Ǩ ★☆★ ☾ћiҜ♥♡ Field Marshal sens's Avatar
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    HI Dina,

    Seems like you are up to your neck in hot water. Actually practically speaking you may have small fights & arguments with any guy, it is normal for two people to clash in ideas.. but its how you deal with it that matters.. either u have to find solution to stop him from abusing with love by cracking jokes // or by being stern & showing immense disapproval..But all these should be used in beginning & stopped.. IT seems like now he is used to rule over you.

    No one can do that to you unless u give them right to.. sometimes , in love we care more for person & tolerate such behavior... later it becomes burden.

    Also it was terrible idea to share nude pictures over net with anyone... [even if u were married]...

    There is one good thing about this guy that never used you for time pass, he was serious about marriage. implies he loves you. It was up to you to mend him at right time.
    But now that u really dont want to marry him, say a stern NO... & be brave. it is better to face this problem right now & say no to marriage. else u may end up suffering all your life.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    Don`t be scared, don`t let him blackmail you. blackmail is a crime, and if you report him to police and make a case, he can be deported from London so he has more to loose. London don`t want offenders. About the picures, well what is done is done, you have to live with it. Do this now either way its going to be ugly, so let it be ugly for him also.

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    SB Champion Captain miss.flintstone's Avatar
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    dnt be afraid..tel him do whtever he wants.u have registered a complaint in police station n submeitted a complaint with internet governance.
    n overlook further blackmailing.he wil be turn back on his own.
    take care.
    Many times what people need is NOT a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that LISTENS!!!



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