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Thread: Confusion about the fiance

  1. #1
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    Default Confusion about the fiance

    Hi All,

    I am a 31 years old guy. I fell in love with a girl around 8 months back. She also used to love me like anything. Initially I had some issues at my home to make my parents agreed for marriage and there were numerous times yes/no from our side to the girl. So, she got frustrated but as she loves me, she waited for me to listen a final yes from our side. I also asked her about her past multiple times but everytime she said that she didn't have any past but one day she was in sleep and I called her up and she told that she had 2 boy friends during her studies and with one guy she met 2 times and the 2nd time she went with that guy in a hotel also but she assured me that nothing wrong happened between them. She said that the guy had a break up with his gf and he was telling her his stories and then he kissed her for a while and tried to do something with her but she didn't allow and then he kept on saying that she(my gf) is a nice girl. She says that she thought that that guy is interested in marriage and wanted to discuss about marriage with her, so, she went to the hotel with him as it was around 12 midnight and her PG won't allow her to enter. But, somehow, I can't believe all this stuff and feels that she is hiding something from me but she has severed upon her father too.

    Now, we are engaged and still she is logging on to the matrimonial sites. When I asked her she says that she feels insecure as there had been multiple times yes/no from our side, so, in future we can say no to her. This is very discouraging for me. I really feel hurt when she says so.

    Whenever she says something wrong, she doesn't agree. And, when I do the same thing, she starts fighting with me. And, when i say that you also did in the same manner, then it is horrible situation for me to handle.

    It feels that both of us are in love and attachment to each other but we do have constantly fights over the phone (I am in bangalore and she is in Delhi). I don't know how our married life will be? But I feel that it is hard for both of us to live together but harder to be separated. If I think practically we should not get married but emotionally it is very hard (next to impossible) to get separated.

    Please suggest where are the issues and what is the solution for the problem.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! well, its been a rocky beginning and she may be holding some grudges about it, and so logging onto matrimonial sites. The thing is, that you have to understand that in a relationship, there will be ups and downs- you both are not even together so it just gets a bit harder that way, and you both will have to work at a better understanding. You love each other, that's great but good relationships need more than that, you know. they need patience and understanding and holding back of harsh words. If you can do all of this, then it will work for you.

  3. #3
    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    It is a bad start and you two are in a long distance...if you are doubtful about your compatibility with her, then better say no right now. Anyway take a break and see if you can really live without her, you will realize that you actually can.
    Last edited by o00; 13-05-2013 at 05:30 AM.

  4. #4
    SB Addict Shravan6886's Avatar
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    Remember this for your entire life, Trust is the main component or say basement for any kind of relationship, any kind of misconception or any other kind of trust issues will crumble your relationships. You clearly state that u have trusting issues, so it would be better to call of this wedding. And give some time or take a break. Time will heal everything, it also gets better since you are in a long distance relationship, u will be out of it pretty soon.

    Also remember, its better to be safe than sorry.

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    lol pagle trace her sim no , get details trust me u will be SHOCKED . also when a girl say 'never, nothing bad happened when i was with him' TOTAL LIE dude . i hope u r not one of many lolus .

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