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Thread: not able to balance a healthy relationship among wife mom n sis

  1. #1
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    Unhappy not able to balance a healthy relationship among wife mom n sis

    hello ma'm,
    it's been more than 1 year i got married to this girl who was the FIRST choice of my Mother n sister.( my sister n mom knew about her from very long time , although i din't knew as i was out for studies n job).
    since after my marriage there have been issues among the 3.
    there are few things here:-
    she is from punjab , so little open punjab culture into her
    we r from haryana , so little bit orthodox

    there are pretty issues over which things are becoming worse.though she never open her mouth to watever is said to her ,she will do all chores of work , whether it is home making or handling her school duties ( n i admire her on this )
    what hurt her most is that she feels that her father in law doesn't love her as compared to his daughters, mother in law also avoids much talking to her as compared to her.

    i would like to mention that in our families 'Bahu' is normally kept into 'parda' and is not allowed to talk much.
    n this is what hurts her the most.
    with all my experience what i've gained from my life i m trying to settle it out but their relationship is depleting day by day.

  2. #2
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    you'll have to talk to your mom and sis..its their insecurity that causes the problem..
    The best thing is to live in a different house..i mean move to a rented flat or something with your wife near your workplace..a mother's insecurity will always cause problems..and for a daughter in law,its really difficult to win mil's heart and adjust in the new family..if it is a place where just you two live,both of you'll have enough privacy..visit your home on weekends..being at a distance would always ensure cordial relationship and harmony among all..

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    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    You need to talk to your parents so that they make their daughter in law feel more comfortable, more at home and more loved. If you see that it is hard to change them, then better move out with your wife. It doesn't matter which state she is from or which state your are in, it all depends on the family.

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    SB Champion Lieutenant Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    well if you are financially sound the may be buy a house and move on or rent one and then move on

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    u know what they say >> WOMEN - never satisfied .

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    So, I think that you've been given sound advice here already- at least the first couple of replies. You will hav eto play a positive role in this, and a mature one, wherein you keep supporting your wife, while not offending your mom. Tough, I know- but you have a responsibility now, yes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hello ma'm,
    it's been more than 1 year i got married to this girl who was the FIRST choice of my Mother n sister.( my sister n mom knew about her from very long time , although i din't knew as i was out for studies n job).
    since after my marriage there have been issues among the 3.
    there are few things here:-
    she is from punjab , so little open punjab culture into her
    we r from haryana , so little bit orthodox

    there are pretty issues over which things are becoming worse.though she never open her mouth to watever is said to her ,she will do all chores of work , whether it is home making or handling her school duties ( n i admire her on this )
    what hurt her most is that she feels that her father in law doesn't love her as compared to his daughters, mother in law also avoids much talking to her as compared to her.

    i would like to mention that in our families 'Bahu' is normally kept into 'parda' and is not allowed to talk much.
    n this is what hurts her the most.
    with all my experience what i've gained from my life i m trying to settle it out but their relationship is depleting day by day.
    dear unregistered guest or waste

    these are the old indian mindsetting

    first of all change your mind from orthodox to little bit open. u know what your family want house working lady, educated, smart, beautiful and parde me rehne do wali huh?
    if ur family want to keep bahu in parda then u sh marry a dehati gawar anpadh bahu everything will be fine. u want ur bahu to be in parda and beti nangi ya nanga huh?
    change your mind what your mom want is that in her time she was kept in parda and her bahu to be too in parda why not your sis to be in parda?
    ask your sis how she is behaving with your wife she will get the same treatment from her husband and in laws.
    what your mother expects is her bahu to follow all her instruction like a naukrani then you sh not have got married instead of keeping a naukrani.
    ask your mom does she liked her fatheror mother in laws so much even she didnot compared with her own father and mother ?
    did she treated well to them during their last times ? if not then why she is expecting too much from your wife?

    see i'm putting a hardcore fact
    indian boys mother and father will expect their son to control wives by beating or scolding her
    girls parents will tell dont listen to ur husband or control him and her inlaws too and fight with your husband. nobody will think about both husband and wife.
    both the parents will be happy if this things are followed but they will not think that let the couple to live happily with other

    mother will think u sh support her and same by wife too . so u'll be pissed off by the two ladies so be wise dont suport anybody just support to right thing. neither your mother or wife.
    after getting marrried so many indian mother will think that their son will listen to his wife not listen to mother. this is the feeling of insecurity.

    ariesegirl is suggesting to move to a different house LOL

    dont listen to anybody think what is right and wrong and act like that

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