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Thread: To whom to say no?

  1. #1
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    Default To whom to say no?

    Not a girlfriend problem.

    It's about choosing between parents who are old and wife.

    Just need some thought on the subject.

    At 35 am at crossroads.

    One hand i am soon getting married. Had some counsellors my friends who suggest you have to maintain balance between wife and parents. I am a strict orthodox person who has grown up seeing my parents and my relatives grow old. Though my relatives abandoned their parents, my parents did not and i've grown up to be like them, which am proud of.








    I am an eyesore when it comes to be a good son.

    Talking to would be all that i can manage. Being only son am worried that i may be put into such a situation where i'll have to choose between wife and parents.

    I know myself, am sure i'll chose parents over wife.

    Be that case am worried as to what will happen?

    How to avoid such a situation.

    How to take everyone together and move forward?



    Any tips as to how to go about?

    Hope i'll get some answers.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! You are beginning with a negative image of a wife who has not even entered your life as yet, my dear! Why assume that the lady would expect you to choose between her and your parents? Why not, instead, choose such a partner who would fit in with the family? However, in every family there are some ups and downs, and if that is handled calmly and in a mature manner, there should not be a problem, unless someone is highly unreasonable.
    Be calm and set down your expectations to your partner. Keep things in perspective and we wish you all the best!

  3. #3
    radiant light ! Captain ariesgirl's Avatar
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    you are too tensed..be positive..don't jump into assumptions..everything will be fine..stay happy..

  4. #4
    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    You are making assumptions.. you need to go ahead, get married and action on the problems when they come, dont think too much before hand. I sense a negative and pessimistic thinking in you..

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    well , 1st and foremost talk before marrying to any girl , put a condition bfore her like ' if she is to maary you , she MUST have to take care of parents as her own ' . if ready , then only marry her , else find another . Beingh the only son makes u resposible for every diffuculy /sadness/ happiness ur parents are going to explore .

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    SB Addict Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    if something goes wrong you have to talk to her that you can't leave your parents...but this is when such a situation arises.....negotiations and compromising will be the solution we can pray that your wife take your parents as her .....good luck and happy marriage.....

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    Hi there how are you??? You know you seem to be too concerned about this situation.... The thing is that if you find a girl who is family oriented then it will not be an issue. But yes you have to figure out ways to stay balanced between your wife and parents. Also, talk to your girl about ( if you have a gf or your fiance) this and see what she says because there are times where you both have to compromise. Also, talk to your parents about the time with your wife so both of you can live happily. I really don't think it is a BIG issue as long as you know the way to balance things out. On the other hand if your wife is making you choose I would say go with your parents because there are the reason why you are in this world.

  8. #8
    New Born LiveLif3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Hi! You are beginning with a negative image of a wife who has not even entered your life as yet, my dear! Why assume that the lady would expect you to choose between her and your parents? Why not, instead, choose such a partner who would fit in with the family? However, in every family there are some ups and downs, and if that is handled calmly and in a mature manner, there should not be a problem, unless someone is highly unreasonable.
    Be calm and set down your expectations to your partner. Keep things in perspective and we wish you all the best!

    Agree !!!

  9. #9
    Young Gun bestfriendavinash's Avatar
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    To be frank I'm also in your stage... I dont know how I'll manage such situation. I cant predict future, So I've take a good pension and medical plan for my parents. (Dont judge that by taking this plant I've made decision, may be in future my parents force me to be with my wife in such situation). I am looking for a homely girl who have been grown up in a joint family, with lots of limitation, so that when she will be a part of my family, she will find it easier to adjust, moreover she would be happy with any extra freedom which she might not have got in her family. But I think the more filter I put for selecting a girl, the more difficult it will be to find a girl. So my advise is to choose wisely, and securing parents future is not a bad idea in any way...

  10. #10
    SB Champion Captain miss.flintstone's Avatar
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    marriage comes wid troubles..u must be fearing it..
    d delima u r in right now is one of dose many situations tht needs to be worried after marriage.
    just a simple answer.like u r responsible fr ur parents,similarly u wil b responsible fr ur wife too,hence keeping thm at same levels is
    ur duty.dnt be partial to ny one of thm.situations keeps coming where a husband /son plays a pivot n has to balance everything wisely.
    Just dnt be harsh wid ppl.there's always a polite way to make d wrng person understand their outlook,parents
    n wife can never be angry if u play wel in a manipulative way.
    tc.
    Many times what people need is NOT a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that LISTENS!!!



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