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Thread: He is dictating my life!

  1. #1
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    Default He is dictating my life!

    i m 20 and nursing student. in a relationship from 6 years.he loves me very much so do i.we are very serious abouy each other.now the problem is he has become very dominating .he never allow me 2 go out with friends,alone ,even if i m going out with parents he want that i should take permission from him.there is no facebook in my life becoz he doesn't like it no we chat no viber he says that i m not using these apps so why r u using them.he doesn't like sarees so he wants me to never wear them. i want to do a job(in future) but he says u will not do it. i know we have to compromise alot 4 a relationship but here only i compromise.i dont know what to do ? how to make him understand???? i love him n don't want to end this relationship plz give me any solution

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi, my dear...well, you ,may want to think over if you want to spend a lifetime with a person who wants to control every heartbeat and every breath that you take. Love is not love when there is no freedom allowed or no trust given and nor can it flourish and grow in such an environment. I do want to ask you as to why you have given him such power to be so dictatorial? Such situations happen only if you allow them to.
    So, you may want to reclaim your own self and then decide how much you want to allow any other human being to dictate your life.

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    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by garu70 View Post
    i m 20 and nursing student. in a relationship from 6 years.he loves me very much so do i.we are very serious abouy each other.now the problem is he has become very dominating .he never allow me 2 go out with friends,alone ,even if i m going out with parents he want that i should take permission from him.there is no facebook in my life becoz he doesn't like it no we chat no viber he says that i m not using these apps so why r u using them.he doesn't like sarees so he wants me to never wear them. i want to do a job(in future) but he says u will not do it. i know we have to compromise alot 4 a relationship but here only i compromise.i dont know what to do ? how to make him understand???? i love him n don't want to end this relationship plz give me any solution

    Honey you were 14 (a kid) when you met this guy. You were NOT in a relationship from the past 6 years unless you developed and matured way to early.

    The guy obviously wants you to live a life he finds is appropriate for you and you oblige him. If you let a dog sleep on the bed and chew off your couch then eventually he will bite off every single furniture item there is and try to kill anyone who enters the bedroom. Such habits progress because you let it happen.

    So its not him you can change. Its yourself.

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    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    You are still very young. The stuff is already programmed in read only memory in the mind of both of you. Either learn to live with him, or break up. Choice is yours.

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    GoShh he starting using u when u were only 14
    NICE , he is my god

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    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Lieutenant-Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by garu70 View Post
    i m 20 and nursing student. in a relationship from 6 years.he loves me very much so do i.we are very serious abouy each other.now the problem is he has become very dominating .he never allow me 2 go out with friends,alone ,even if i m going out with parents he want that i should take permission from him.there is no facebook in my life becoz he doesn't like it no we chat no viber he says that i m not using these apps so why r u using them.he doesn't like sarees so he wants me to never wear them. i want to do a job(in future) but he says u will not do it. i know we have to compromise alot 4 a relationship but here only i compromise.i dont know what to do ? how to make him understand???? i love him n don't want to end this relationship plz give me any solution
    No surprises there.
    14 is NOT an age where you can decide what is good/bad for you. Even 20 is not an age where you know what is right and wrong. Trust me, we have been there. It offends almost everyone when we tell them they're too young, but it is true.

    This guy is extremely insecure and jealous. Also, he has faith issues. You do not wanna be anywhere close to this guy. Very soon you'd have to head abuses followed by physical abuse. Get out of this relationship as soon as possible.

    It would seem tough, as you have been in a relationship for 6 years. But, it actually is pretty easy. Your life would be LIFE only when you are without him.

    G'day
    Miss you Dadaji

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    confused soul Captain ariesgirl's Avatar
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    one of my classmates has such a boyfriend..actually we are not that good friends..if we were,i would have asked her to get rid of him..that's what i too would like to tell you..you are not his slave and he has no right to impose so much restriction on you esp to ask you not to work in future..end this relationship..it may hurt you..stil you need to get out of this..else you'll suffer too much in the future..get rid of him asap..only then you'll know what FREEDOM and LIFE is..what you are doing is not compromise alone..its more of mercy..so throw him out of your life and wait for someone who lets you to be who you are..god bless you..

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    SB Wizard Captain theachiever's Avatar
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    Ask him to hire a maid and dominate over her.......... .

    You are his girlfriend does not mean you should keep dancing to his tunes.You have your own self respect you have your own life try and enjoy that first.Of course guys like to be involved in a serious relationship but not so involved that they start controlling their girlfriend's life.

    Practically I somehow feel this is not going to work out in the long run.So just try and get rid of him . It can be challenging and difficult but if its for your own good then think about it.If he changes his attitude it's fine but if that's not the case then give him a farewell..........
    Wenever you miss sumone dont close your eyes to get der image into your head . . Jus pick da damn phone and cal dem . . .

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    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by garu70 View Post
    i m 20 and nursing student. in a relationship from 6 years.he loves me very much so do i.we are very serious abouy each other.now the problem is he has become very dominating .he never allow me 2 go out with friends,alone ,even if i m going out with parents he want that i should take permission from him.there is no facebook in my life becoz he doesn't like it no we chat no viber he says that i m not using these apps so why r u using them.he doesn't like sarees so he wants me to never wear them. i want to do a job(in future) but he says u will not do it. i know we have to compromise alot 4 a relationship but here only i compromise.i dont know what to do ? how to make him understand???? i love him n don't want to end this relationship plz give me any solution
    Deewar picture toh dekha hoga..

    Bhai tum sign karte ho ya nahi!

    Aise hi poochneka..

    Meri jaan tum dominating harkaton se baaz aayega ki nahi..

    Sign kar ki kabhi dominate nahi karoonga.

    Aur yeh uske haath pe gudwado..

    Sign karega ya nahi..

    That would be suffice!
    आपका अपना,
    Gudu Gudu ರಿಟರ್ನ್ಸ್

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    but i love him .how can i change his attitude?????

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    SB Wizard Captain theachiever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by garu70 View Post
    but i love him .how can i change his attitude?????
    You love him which is why you have to change his attitude .If you love him take the intiative and change him so that he respects you for what you are.Don't end up being a people pleaser. Our self respect is important too.
    Wenever you miss sumone dont close your eyes to get der image into your head . . Jus pick da damn phone and cal dem . . .

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    thats my question how to change him??? what should i do???

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    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by garu70 View Post
    but i love him .how can i change his attitude?????
    Woh uska baap bhi nahi karsakte.. Changing his attitude!

    Aur tom kis khet ki brinjal ho.. Jo uska attitude change karne nikali?

    Ek baat samajh.

    Attitude ho ya ego tabhi badalta he jab major injury hoti he... Ego ka ya attitude ka.

    Par guarantee nahi he ki results positive honge ki negative!

    BEST ADVICE: Find someone whose got no attitude/EGO! Forget him!

    Look for someone else!
    आपका अपना,
    Gudu Gudu ರಿಟರ್ನ್ಸ್

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    SB Addict Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    you need someone else simple and straight......his attitude cannot be changed because he is possessive...such people don't change...what you can do for a change is walk out of this relationship...you are only 20 not 40 that you won't find any one else.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by garu70 View Post
    i m 20 and nursing student. in a relationship from 6 years.he loves me very much so do i.we are very serious abouy each other.now the problem is he has become very dominating .he never allow me 2 go out with friends,alone ,even if i m going out with parents he want that i should take permission from him.there is no facebook in my life becoz he doesn't like it no we chat no viber he says that i m not using these apps so why r u using them.he doesn't like sarees so he wants me to never wear them. i want to do a job(in future) but he says u will not do it. i know we have to compromise alot 4 a relationship but here only i compromise.i dont know what to do ? how to make him understand???? i love him n don't want to end this relationship plz give me any solution
    He is a freak. U will end up life spending with an hiccup. Think abt him seriously, coz u r quite young.

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