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Thread: Multiple problems in life

  1. #1
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    Default Multiple problems in life

    My problem is not one but i am surrounded by a lot of issues. I and my husband live alone in Mumbai as we both work. My in laws traditionally stay in Ahmedabad but for past few days ( 23 days ) have been staying here with us. This includes my father n mother in law and 2 brother in laws. we only have a house with 2 bhk facility so my parents in law take one room. and my bro in laws stay in one room. I stay with my husband in hall.

    This is the one big problem as night was the only time when we both talked to each other in peace for hours. Since we both work, we often come home by 7-8 and after dinner and meeting flat neighbours n all , 9.30 was the time when we both give each other our time. we share what happened all day and a lot of things. but since my in laws have come they also watch tv till late in night, my brother in laws even watch till 12.30 odd. problem is that still we talk but i can talk my private / personal things with my husband at length. I miss it alot and feel a void in life.

    I love my in laws and everyone is very good but i feel suffocated now. plus whenever we go out they all come with us. so i get zero personal time. i talked about it to my hubby but he says it is not possible for us to go out alone n leave his parents at home. they all will stay at least 1 month more. i have no idea how will i cope.

    i tried to meet him at lunch hours of our work but due to workload he is not able to come out of his work place as well which i totally understand.

    Secondly, our personal love moments have gone away. we do not get any privacy and i am missing it like hell and i know even he does. i told him to ask his brothers to shift in hall and we take that small store type room in which they sleep but he said it does not look good at all. My key problems are these 2, rest i can adjust as well.

  2. #2
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    My problem is not one but i am surrounded by a lot of issues. I and my husband live alone in Mumbai as we both work. My in laws traditionally stay in Ahmedabad but for past few days ( 23 days ) have been staying here with us. This includes my father n mother in law and 2 brother in laws. we only have a house with 2 bhk facility so my parents in law take one room. and my bro in laws stay in one room. I stay with my husband in hall.

    This is the one big problem as night was the only time when we both talked to each other in peace for hours. Since we both work, we often come home by 7-8 and after dinner and meeting flat neighbours n all , 9.30 was the time when we both give each other our time. we share what happened all day and a lot of things. but since my in laws have come they also watch tv till late in night, my brother in laws even watch till 12.30 odd. problem is that still we talk but i can talk my private / personal things with my husband at length. I miss it alot and feel a void in life.

    I love my in laws and everyone is very good but i feel suffocated now. plus whenever we go out they all come with us. so i get zero personal time. i talked about it to my hubby but he says it is not possible for us to go out alone n leave his parents at home. they all will stay at least 1 month more. i have no idea how will i cope.

    i tried to meet him at lunch hours of our work but due to workload he is not able to come out of his work place as well which i totally understand.

    Secondly, our personal love moments have gone away. we do not get any privacy and i am missing it like hell and i know even he does. i told him to ask his brothers to shift in hall and we take that small store type room in which they sleep but he said it does not look good at all. My key problems are these 2, rest i can adjust as well.
    What is the matter with you..?
    You cannot adjust for a couple of Months..? Save your personal talks and private moments for the rest of the year.

    The problem is, you still think of them as "in-laws".
    Treat them as your own and all your problems would be gone. Learn to adjust.

    G'day
    My Personality depends on who I am.My Attitude depends on who you are.
    a_decent_1™ ©®

  3. #3
    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    1. Welcome to the Indian "culture" of guest worship. The guests are shameless and wont leave, the supporters wont address these issues and wont confront the guests. You cant help it.
    2. You said they are visiting. So obviously they will leave one day. If not, then you leave the house you dont find comfort in. Your husband can very well make love and merry with his family. No disrespect here. Everyone needs their space.

  4. #4
    Bourne Captain RoleModel007's Avatar
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    - This is a common problem in an average Indian household. It's neither strange to find issues in whatever the inlaws do nor peculiar to try hard and mess up the head of husband/ wife living in the house.

    - Good people adjust, others create indifference and sho away the inlaws for good.

    - My advice live with it. As @a_decent_1 says it's just for a couple of months.

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    Typical not-willing-to-adjust attitude. Making issue of a non-issue. I don't think your in-laws will be welcome anymore in future.

  6. #6
    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    My problem is not one but i am surrounded by a lot of issues. I and my husband live alone in Mumbai as we both work. My in laws traditionally stay in Ahmedabad but for past few days ( 23 days ) have been staying here with us. This includes my father n mother in law and 2 brother in laws. we only have a house with 2 bhk facility so my parents in law take one room. and my bro in laws stay in one room. I stay with my husband in hall.

    This is the one big problem as night was the only time when we both talked to each other in peace for hours. Since we both work, we often come home by 7-8 and after dinner and meeting flat neighbours n all , 9.30 was the time when we both give each other our time. we share what happened all day and a lot of things. but since my in laws have come they also watch tv till late in night, my brother in laws even watch till 12.30 odd. problem is that still we talk but i can talk my private / personal things with my husband at length. I miss it alot and feel a void in life.

    I love my in laws and everyone is very good but i feel suffocated now. plus whenever we go out they all come with us. so i get zero personal time. i talked about it to my hubby but he says it is not possible for us to go out alone n leave his parents at home. they all will stay at least 1 month more. i have no idea how will i cope.

    i tried to meet him at lunch hours of our work but due to workload he is not able to come out of his work place as well which i totally understand.

    Secondly, our personal love moments have gone away. we do not get any privacy and i am missing it like hell and i know even he does. i told him to ask his brothers to shift in hall and we take that small store type room in which they sleep but he said it does not look good at all. My key problems are these 2, rest i can adjust as well.
    Show MIL, FIL, BIL's the movie Athithi Tum Kab jaaoge starring Ajay Devgan, Paresh Rawal.

    Decent log hain toh samajh jaayenge ki tum dono ko takleef horaha he unki presence se, aur chalejaayenge apne ghar.

    Utna decent log nahi he toh, bhagwaan tumhara bhala karein

    But nobody will come to stay for ever and ever at your house, they will go out, the gap where you are not able to talk to each other will help you become more close like this, chup chup ke milna etc.
    आपका अपना,
    Gudu Gudu ರಿಟರ್ನ್ಸ್

  7. #7
    SB Champion Lieutenant Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    they will be gone after another month.....relax.....

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    New Born ooye_hoye's Avatar
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    if you want intimate moments,there are hotels everywhere,use them

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    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    India changing

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    Hey there.. this is of course a situation where you might feel depressed, as one does feel like Home is the place you can be yourself and not bother or worry about the world outside.. in your case.. go ahead for a weekend break with your husband.. somewhere near if you cannot make it to a place far away.. and spend some quality time with them.. I am sure your in laws would surely understand.. about this... Simply thinking about not getting things.. never helps.. positive thinking is what you need.. to make your life smooth.. if this gets stuck in your mind.. you will be haunted every second of your life with it and not be productive or completely functional in any thing you would be into..
    Good luck and get a nice weekend off.. am sure it will help

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    Hey no need to worry about this so much. If you think of this situation in a positive way you are in for so much fun. If yours was a love marriage then you start reliving your love days once again. That chori chori se milna, trying to kiss your partner secretly even when your in-laws are around. if its not a love marriage you can still do it. It might bring up something new and nice to your married life. You and your husband can try to cook something together for everybody and have dinner together. Its just a matter of one month. You can always make these moments memorable. Arrey physical intimacy, private talks toh hota rahega, you have your rest of the life ahead. But these are very special and rare occasions were you can make the most of it and still be so much happy.
    Have a blessed life.

  12. #12
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    Understand that and sometimes such things grow into a frustration. being some one's wife i can also understand your quandary as having alone time daily with your husband is an absolute necessity. most importantly i wish you get that other small room at least. husband and wife definitely need privacy at all costs. your brother in laws can stay easily in hall.

    its just not about private moments but about giving each other those special 20 odd minutes where tension of entire day can ease off when we talk to our partner and share everything with him.

    to guys telling that go to hotel or go for a date to some place, it is not practical...it can happen for 1 -2 days but not for 60 days. they need privacy at all costs.

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