My brother is married around an year back. His wife and family told us innumerable lies before wedding. My brother also lied in many things hiding their years of relationship to my parents. We, slowly after marriage realized and though few of them did upset all of us, seeing that my brother was in love, my parents maintained a dignified silence.
My brother became a changed person to which I dont blame either of them. Its totally their life. However what bothers me is, my brother has become completely mum after marriage. I am elder to my SIL and last time when I visited them, I was down with heavy fever. My bro took me to doctor. She fought with my brother for something really silly and by the time we returned, she was not at home. He tried calling her and she started to cut his call. She sent him an sms saying she is out for walking and asked us to have dinner. She made some dish fully with water showing her rage. My bro ate as if it was all ok (she is a good cook actually). Later after she returned also, she started to bang doors loudly least concerned of how odd I would feel as a visitor.
Also, in afternoon time, she used to come early, put TV in high volume not even bothering if I would be disturbed despite knowing I was not well. Neither my bro nor his wife were apologetic. When I told my bro, in a soft way, he retorted saying how can you expect apology while she said nothing to you. Infact, I did not ask that she should say sorry to me. I told him that this kind of behavior is hurtful and told him that if roles were reversed will she not feel hurt? He was neither remorseful nor felt her behavior was bad. These two incidents were just examples barring her open lies.
I am so much hurt with this behavior and decided not to visit them anymore. My bro knows am hurt but speaks just for the sake of maintaining bro-sis relationship (I feel) to me. I do want to ignore and move ahead. I feel so painful to see my bro who was otherwise a calm person changed so rude and doesnt feel bothered for his own sister. For the sake of my parents, I cant even ignore them completely and will be forced to meet and visit them. How to put up with people like these? How to get over this hurt and anger ?