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Thread: I think my dad's having an affair

  1. #1
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    Default I think my dad's having an affair

    Recently I found a lot of messages in my dad's cellphone which he had sent to a married woman. In these messages they are talking about meeting each other, exchanging gifts and even touching(there's no mention of sex).

    On thinking further I remembered a late night argument between my mom and dad about 10 years back regarding affair with the same woman, as I was in a separate room I don't think they knew that I could over hear them.

    A few years back too I had found some flirty message he sent to the same woman... When I confronted him about the messages he said it was just casual flirting and there was no harm in it.

    My father hasn't been the best of fathers and neither the worst of them. He has been a good parent. But obviously he has not been a good husband. I'm not sure if my mom suspects him or not. I'm not sure if I should confront him again. Should I just erase the messages and turn a blind eyes to his actions? I'm very confused as I work with him in the family business and seeing him everyday, I might just loose it and get in an argument with him.

    Please tell me what to do.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! Listen, you are a grown up person, but not yet mature enough to know that no-one- not even the kids- know exactly what's happening in a marriage. So, you would really not know what are the dynamics of the relationship between your parents. It seems as if your mom knows but they have reached some sort of a compromise or she simply prefers to turn a blind eye towards it, for the sake of peace or whatever the reason may be.
    If its really hassling you, then you can mention to your father that you came across some messages in his phone. But be prepared that the conversation may lead in any direction (as you seem to be aware of). As a son, its natural to feel bad about stuff like this, but think it through carefully before taking any step.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Recently I found a lot of messages in my dad's cellphone which he had sent to a married woman. In these messages they are talking about meeting each other, exchanging gifts and even touching(there's no mention of sex).

    On thinking further I remembered a late night argument between my mom and dad about 10 years back regarding affair with the same woman, as I was in a separate room I don't think they knew that I could over hear them.

    A few years back too I had found some flirty message he sent to the same woman... When I confronted him about the messages he said it was just casual flirting and there was no harm in it.

    My father hasn't been the best of fathers and neither the worst of them. He has been a good parent. But obviously he has not been a good husband. I'm not sure if my mom suspects him or not. I'm not sure if I should confront him again. Should I just erase the messages and turn a blind eyes to his actions? I'm very confused as I work with him in the family business and seeing him everyday, I might just loose it and get in an argument with him.

    Please tell me what to do.
    Would you like it if he read your messages and asked you who all you talk to..?

    You need to give him his space. You have no business reading his messages. He has a life of his own, and you must never mess with the personal life of your parents.

    You just need to worry about yourself. Do not try to do the 'right thing' here, because what may be right for you could actually be very tricky.

    G'day

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    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    Just ignore and stay out of it. You know him well now.. better move out when you are able to earn enough.

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    Just stay out of it. Probably your mom knows about your father's little 'secret'. Maybe there is some kind of understanding between your parents regarding the matter. And you shouldn't have read his sms-es, and nor is it any of your business to delete them or whatever..!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Recently I found a lot of messages in my dad's cellphone which he had sent to a married woman. In these messages they are talking about meeting each other, exchanging gifts and even touching(there's no mention of sex).

    On thinking further I remembered a late night argument between my mom and dad about 10 years back regarding affair with the same woman, as I was in a separate room I don't think they knew that I could over hear them.

    A few years back too I had found some flirty message he sent to the same woman... When I confronted him about the messages he said it was just casual flirting and there was no harm in it.

    My father hasn't been the best of fathers and neither the worst of them. He has been a good parent. But obviously he has not been a good husband. I'm not sure if my mom suspects him or not. I'm not sure if I should confront him again. Should I just erase the messages and turn a blind eyes to his actions? I'm very confused as I work with him in the family business and seeing him everyday, I might just loose it and get in an argument with him.

    Please tell me what to do.

    Miya biwi ki baatein woh khud jaane.

    Tum apna sir kharaab mat karo.

    Jyaada sir kharab karli toh aage jo hoga uska jimmewaar tum hoge tum.

    Stay away from these issues kid.

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    SB Champion Lieutenant Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    stay away from such matters......it will only effect you and your future.....

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    Spectre Lieutenant RoleModel007's Avatar
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    Dad's having an affair? Mum's the word!

    Mum's the word = something that you say which means something should be kept secret (Just to ensure we are in same page)

    - For start he wouldn't like getting advises from his kids.
    - Be a little selfish and concentrate on your studies and career.
    - When you grow up and become self reliable, you'll get your chance to say.

    Wishing you good luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Recently I found a lot of messages in my dad's cellphone which he had sent to a married woman. In these messages they are talking about meeting each other, exchanging gifts and even touching(there's no mention of sex).

    On thinking further I remembered a late night argument between my mom and dad about 10 years back regarding affair with the same woman, as I was in a separate room I don't think they knew that I could over hear them.

    A few years back too I had found some flirty message he sent to the same woman... When I confronted him about the messages he said it was just casual flirting and there was no harm in it.

    My father hasn't been the best of fathers and neither the worst of them. He has been a good parent. But obviously he has not been a good husband. I'm not sure if my mom suspects him or not. I'm not sure if I should confront him again. Should I just erase the messages and turn a blind eyes to his actions? I'm very confused as I work with him in the family business and seeing him everyday, I might just loose it and get in an argument with him.

    Please tell me what to do.
    how can u say that sms were to married woman ? ? ? ? ? ?

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