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Thread: To be husband has cheated me badly

  1. #1
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    Default To be husband has cheated me badly

    My parents have arranged my marriage to a guy who hails from our community. I was asked whether i have a bf or not as my family is very open . but i never had one and agreed to marry this guy. i liked him from day 1 and we started talking and meeting and eventually fell in love. We both incidentally work in same city and our parents live in our parental city. few weeks later he asked me to shift into his flat and start living in as live in partners and that way he suggest we can know each other well. i agreed to him and we started living together as it was an arrange marriage and his idea was what i liked. i was in no danger as i was his fiancee but after months he says he does not feel we can "work it between us"...those were his words...he says i am not the one he can marry....he has no solid reasons to say this as well. he asked me to leave his home and packed my everything himself and dropped my belongings to my old flat where my rommies stay.

    he has no shame and says its up to me to what to say to my parents but he will definitely cancel the marriage. i loved him like hell and i feel he used me badly.i cooked for him ,lived like a wife, cleaned his home ,his bed and everything from morning tea to all. i loved it all.i can not believe that he has ditched me like this. i can not say to my parents that we have lived in and i have been physical with him. just do not know what to do. he does not pick my calls and does nothing.says in august first week when he will go to his home then he will cancel our marriage...i told him the fact that i have taken him as my husband and he can not do this to me after living as a husband. i asked him to give 1 reason to leave me and he had nothing concrete to say..he just said that when you can have sex with me before marriage then how can i say about your past, and when you have the audacity to live in before marriage then it shows your character. i just told him thanks and left from there. i do not know where to go from here now and if he cancels the marriage now ...then not only i wont be able to tolerate nor my parents. i just do not know what to do now and how to stop him from breaking our relationship.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    My question to you is, why do you want to spoil your entire life by getting married to a man who has turned out to be such an absolute rotten apple? Look, I would suggest that you better get strong and start thanking God that you saw his true colours- very double standard ones- before you tied the knot with him.

    You can tell your parents anything that would be easiest for them to accept as to why the engagement broke up but don't hanker after a man who has treated you in such a manner. Forget, and move on- that's the best service you can do to yourself.

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    feel sorry for you, why you want to stick with this man who has miserably cheated on you and now left you from his life. It is as suggested earlier that any relationship with him will lead to further harsh things. Tell your parents that he is not a good character ed person and many of his friends have told this and plus he has many wrong relations with many girls and you need an honest man and say this to your parents.

    Leave him asap dear and focus on your life ahead and find a trustworthy and a partner who can RESPECT you which is really important.

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    confused soul Captain ariesgirl's Avatar
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    never even think of getting married to this bstrd even if he is ready to take you back some day..he is such a characterless man..

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    Young Gun Neha1's Avatar
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    yes never ever think of getting him back even if he tries to come back.u hv seen his real face now.its ok to be cheated once but dont be fool if he comes again.best of luck for your future n dont remembr tht bullshit man.

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    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Lieutenant-Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Wow...!!
    I mean, i cannot understand why you're worrying so much about a man who is as good as trash.. I mean, you should actually be happy that you got a change to live with him before marriage and come to know what a jerk he was.. Imagine what would have happened if all this would have happened after marriage..!!!

    Live in was a good move, atleast in your case. These kind of people are paracites, they **** life out of you. TRUST ME you are better without him.

    About all the crap he said about you and your character, you do not need to pay any attention to it. Look at the source of Judgement : A moron. Actually, if he called you characterless, it means you are of a sound character.

    Do not worry your head over it buddy. It is a good thing, you were lucky to find out his reality before marriage.

    G'day
    P.S : Do not forget to give the moron a headache by telling him that you'd file a case against him and also report to the police. You do not need to do anything, just fake it and give him the sleepless nights he deserves.

  7. #7
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    This is a clear case of Breach of Trust. I don't know which city you live in to suggest a good lawyer. The Law recognizes promise of marriage and a live-in relationship which protects the rights and honour of both the partners. You can sue him for Rape among other things.

    Take the jerk to the cleaners. What applies to you applies to his noble character as well. If you are in Bangalore, I can suggest a good lawyer and a known cop. Such jerks should not be allowed to roam free.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned, right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality and unconventional relationships.

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    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    Please do what decent has said on above post (last sentence). Sex with a promise of marriage is rape.
    Leave this guy, he doesnt deserve you. I know it will be hard for you but the good thing is that you came to know about him before marriage.

  9. #9
    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
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    Decent's reply is best one. Follow his advice.
    Love n regards,

    Gudu Gudu Returns

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    1) Excuse me for being old-school, but when the marriage is arranged and is within the community (plus the same hometown), the 'new-age urban partners rule-book' goes straight out of the window. I mean, you simply can't say he is a jerk and move on. There will be eyebrows raised, questions asked and the possibility of the guy coming back to bite you.

    2) Faking it 'to taking it to law' or 'threatening to tell it to family' is like taking a knife to a gunfight and will not help because he knows there is a 'it takes two to tango factor' in this and he simply wouldn't buy it. Isn't it how he got the audacity to do this in the first place?

    3) Beware of fighting it out with the law all by yourself. From what my experience is, all I can say is - good luck with that!

    4) A pervert will always brag about his misdemeanors that has gone unpunished. Take him by surprise, involve your parents in this and let his parents know about this it too. Let them have their opinions on your fiancee and decide whatever is best for you both.
    Last edited by RoleModel007; 16-07-2013 at 11:24 PM.

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    SB Addict Inspector Pathan's Avatar
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    may be you can tell your parents what he has done.....that might help out...but no need to go back.....lot of things have been said by the members regarding him.....

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    You should file a case in police also since he used you physically and teach him a lesson

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    If you let him off, you are encouraging him to try it with several other girls as well. He becomes a serious threat to society and there are plenty of trolls out there who are exploiting a passive response and are encouraged by such inaction. Go to a lawyer and send him a notice. Do a favor to several other potential victims.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned, right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality and unconventional relationships.

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    Default He doesnt deserve you

    Hi, First of all get a basic thing very straight. He does not love you. He has used you and now after having sex he has lost interest in you. He is thinking that he has already had fun with you then why stick to you for life when he can have someone else. The sooner you get this, the better it will be for you.
    Secondly, As him this "If I had sex before marriage, so did you.. Then how am I a characterless person and you are not ?
    Third and the most important. Do not even try to marry him. And most importantly, do not leave him like this. Get justice. He has played with you. Dont let him get away. File an FIR against him for "Rape on pretext of marriage". Teach him a lesson. Do not leave him like that. He may have done the same thing with many other girls. You never know. Be strong and stand for your cause. DO not let hi get away. Gather all possible evidence that you can. Your photos, mails, messages and everything that could prove you were living together. And you have a plus point that your parents live outside your city. So, the FIR and all will not be a problem as your family would not know of it. But do not spare him at any cost. Just because of weakness of women, men in India exploit them. Do not let him take you easy.

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    New Born madmaxunleashed's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Move on...

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    My parents have arranged my marriage to a guy who hails from our community. I was asked whether i have a bf or not as my family is very open . but i never had one and agreed to marry this guy. i liked him from day 1 and we started talking and meeting and eventually fell in love. We both incidentally work in same city and our parents live in our parental city. few weeks later he asked me to shift into his flat and start living in as live in partners and that way he suggest we can know each other well. i agreed to him and we started living together as it was an arrange marriage and his idea was what i liked. i was in no danger as i was his fiancee but after months he says he does not feel we can "work it between us"...those were his words...he says i am not the one he can marry....he has no solid reasons to say this as well. he asked me to leave his home and packed my everything himself and dropped my belongings to my old flat where my rommies stay.

    he has no shame and says its up to me to what to say to my parents but he will definitely cancel the marriage. i loved him like hell and i feel he used me badly.i cooked for him ,lived like a wife, cleaned his home ,his bed and everything from morning tea to all. i loved it all.i can not believe that he has ditched me like this. i can not say to my parents that we have lived in and i have been physical with him. just do not know what to do. he does not pick my calls and does nothing.says in august first week when he will go to his home then he will cancel our marriage...i told him the fact that i have taken him as my husband and he can not do this to me after living as a husband. i asked him to give 1 reason to leave me and he had nothing concrete to say..he just said that when you can have sex with me before marriage then how can i say about your past, and when you have the audacity to live in before marriage then it shows your character. i just told him thanks and left from there. i do not know where to go from here now and if he cancels the marriage now ...then not only i wont be able to tolerate nor my parents. i just do not know what to do now and how to stop him from breaking our relationship.
    Can feel ur pain....I would suggest to take the pain once for the lifetime, confront the mistake u made, console ur parents, find a new life for urself, and make peace with ur past!! once he is out of ur life and u get able to move on, he will definitely not have any control on ur happiness!!! Try to be positive about urself. It might feel that it is the worst possible situation one might face....but trust me, u can come out of this!! Just show some mental strength!!! all the very best!!!

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