Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 17

Thread: Abusive husband!

  1. #1
    Unregistered
    Guest

    Default Abusive husband!

    M 28/f got married one year before. My problem z my husband's abusive behaviour. He got angry very soon n sometimes even physically harm me. When he z normal hr is a very gud guy. Bt his short temperness creates problem for me. He has taken a property in his and his mothers name and he always ask for money fm me n keep on saying that its his property n i hav nothing in it. He even abuses my patents n whn i say anything in return he complaints to my patents.At times he says me to go out of his house.M also well educated n working women and tis type of behaviour is completely intolerable. My family is now saying to live separately. M completely in depression now.. is it possible to live separately n happily for women like me.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,027
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Of course its possible to live a life of dignity and self respect! Why would you not be brave when you have parents to support you and when you are capable of standing on your own feet? No woman needs to take any abuse from a man just because she married him. Making a relationship work is the responsibility of both the partners.
    Be brave and don't tolerate bad behaviour- depression is not the way out- courage is!

  3. #3
    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    778
    Rep Power
    86

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    M 28/f got married one year before. My problem z my husband's abusive behaviour. He got angry very soon n sometimes even physically harm me. When he z normal hr is a very gud guy. Bt his short temperness creates problem for me. He has taken a property in his and his mothers name and he always ask for money fm me n keep on saying that its his property n i hav nothing in it. He even abuses my patents n whn i say anything in return he complaints to my patents.At times he says me to go out of his house.M also well educated n working women and tis type of behaviour is completely intolerable. My family is now saying to live separately. M completely in depression now.. is it possible to live separately n happily for women like me.
    You should be the happiest person ever. He is giving you all the signs of running away from him, and you should take that opportunity. Thank god and thank your husband for his temper and abusive behavior. Now you have learnt quickly what an idiot he is.

    Run away. Go away from this man ASAP.

  4. #4
    SB Champion Lieutenant Inspector Pathan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Edgware Road
    Posts
    1,112
    Rep Power
    55

    Default

    when you are educated and have a job...why living with this idiot.....nothing will happen....get a place of your own....and move on...good luck.....

  5. #5
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,512
    Rep Power
    57

    Default

    There should be zero tolerance to any kind of abuse in a married couple. So you have to leave him.

  6. #6
    Bourne Captain RoleModel007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Treadstone
    Posts
    2,322
    Rep Power
    83

    Default

    ...Physical Abuse/ Asking Money/ Abusing your people...
    Remind him about Sections 304B and 498A, Threaten him that you will lodge a complaint.


    ...is it possible to live separately n happily for women like me...
    In Bangalore alone, about 3,000 divorce applications are filed in the city every year. There are 20,000 divorce cases pending in Bangalore courts.



  7. #7
    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Happy New Year maccha :D
    Posts
    30,529
    Rep Power
    80

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    M 28/f got married one year before. My problem z my husband's abusive behaviour. He got angry very soon n sometimes even physically harm me. When he z normal hr is a very gud guy. Bt his short temperness creates problem for me. He has taken a property in his and his mothers name and he always ask for money fm me n keep on saying that its his property n i hav nothing in it. He even abuses my patents n whn i say anything in return he complaints to my patents.At times he says me to go out of his house.M also well educated n working women and tis type of behaviour is completely intolerable. My family is now saying to live separately. M completely in depression now.. is it possible to live separately n happily for women like me.

    For eg: You might just snap at your husband and he might react by giving a nice gaali to you.

    Lady you have come with only one side of the story.

    It's been just one year that you have been married.

    Why your husband becomes short-tempered? That you have to analyse yourself, this cannot be done in psychiatric counselling sessions, and such are of no use.

    A journey of a thousand miles can be started taking the first step!

    Understand your husband, make him understand that you are really pissed off about his behavior.

    Its a general thinking.. you cannot clap with one hand.

    There is no smoke without fire.

    In any husband and wife case, if something is going wrong in the marriage..

    then both husband and wife are responsible for it..

    Its sorta chain reaction kind of thing.. you say something. he gets fed up and does something... he does something... you inturn do something....

    I agree with people who propogate a 498a or PWDVA 2005, but those are one way roads, you go in, but when you come out of it you are all alone.. both part ways.. not to mention years lost in running behind court cases.. money spent on lawyers... hair turning grey.. going into depression....etc which I do not suggest. Let filing a 498a case or PWDVA case be your last resort... as now in the heat of the moment you might feel to take revenge to come out of this marriage.. but when the heat is gone.. you will be left all alone... you will be in such a stage that even if you are with your parentage, you will feel lonely..

    So think a lot dear and then take a step.
    आपका अपना,
    Gudu Gudu ರಿಟರ್ನ್ಸ್

  8. #8
    New Born
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    13
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Your family is 100% correct...one can never see a future with an abusive man...such man are cowards who can hit a wife.....look no need to reply to such a man in fights........just stay silent and calm... i mean you need not be abusive in words....just first of all stay away from him n make him earn your ...remember he should not HAVE you...he must EARN you.........just understand these words

  9. #9
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    35,244
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Its a good thing that your parents support you and you are financially not dependent on him. Find your own place and get away from his abuse. Threaten him to lodge a police complain if he troubles you further. If you have ample proof of his abusive, you can even file for a restraining order from the court.
    The problem with internet quotes is that you can't trust their authenticity.
    - Abraham Lincoln


  10. #10
    New Born sachingulyani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    79
    Rep Power
    50

    Default

    What are you waiting for ? Just get separated as soon as possible and stop helping him monetarily asap. 28 is no age. You have still a long way to go. The time is right now to take any step before its get late.

    All the best.

  11. #11
    New Born sachingulyani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    79
    Rep Power
    50

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gudu Gudu Returns View Post

    For eg: You might just snap at your husband and he might react by giving a nice gaali to you.

    Lady you have come with only one side of the story.

    It's been just one year that you have been married.

    Why your husband becomes short-tempered? That you have to analyse yourself, this cannot be done in psychiatric counselling sessions, and such are of no use.

    A journey of a thousand miles can be started taking the first step!

    Understand your husband, make him understand that you are really pissed off about his behavior.

    Its a general thinking.. you cannot clap with one hand.

    There is no smoke without fire.

    In any husband and wife case, if something is going wrong in the marriage..

    then both husband and wife are responsible for it..

    Its sorta chain reaction kind of thing.. you say something. he gets fed up and does something... he does something... you inturn do something....

    I agree with people who propogate a 498a or PWDVA 2005, but those are one way roads, you go in, but when you come out of it you are all alone.. both part ways.. not to mention years lost in running behind court cases.. money spent on lawyers... hair turning grey.. going into depression....etc which I do not suggest. Let filing a 498a case or PWDVA case be your last resort... as now in the heat of the moment you might feel to take revenge to come out of this marriage.. but when the heat is gone.. you will be left all alone... you will be in such a stage that even if you are with your parentage, you will feel lonely..

    So think a lot dear and then take a step.
    Dear gudu gudu return,

    Its always on this forum that we believe all the things people say. Ya there is always two side of coin but we are here answering on the basis of what is asked and assuming all the things to be right.

    And ya, what you said about 498a is very correct. I am very against 498a. its a one sided law. Many innocent committed suicide and lost all the things just because of this one sided law. its better to get separated mutually instead of harassing other by misusing 498a.

  12. #12
    New Born sachingulyani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    79
    Rep Power
    50

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RoleModel007 View Post
    ...Physical Abuse/ Asking Money/ Abusing your people...
    Remind him about Sections 304B and 498A, Threaten him that you will lodge a complaint.




    Please don't teach anybody about 498a. It should be avoided. If they cant live together then live separately but atleast don't harass someone by 498a where in husband as well as husband's parents get tortured without any proof.
    Indian law system always favour girl but what about male rights? My friend's wife is physically abusing my friend where in my friend can't do anything other then defending himself just because that in Indian law there is no section for protection of male rights..

  13. #13
    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    7,041
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    M 28/f got married one year before. My problem z my husband's abusive behaviour. He got angry very soon n sometimes even physically harm me. When he z normal hr is a very gud guy. Bt his short temperness creates problem for me. He has taken a property in his and his mothers name and he always ask for money fm me n keep on saying that its his property n i hav nothing in it. He even abuses my patents n whn i say anything in return he complaints to my patents.At times he says me to go out of his house.M also well educated n working women and tis type of behaviour is completely intolerable. My family is now saying to live separately. M completely in depression now.. is it possible to live separately n happily for women like me.

    Well, need it be said that any life thats free of abuse is bound to be a better one. But i would only recommend that as a last resort. I feel that you need to tell more so that we can throw some reconciling ideas your way. Perhaps we might come up with something you haven't tried yet.
    So may it be

  14. #14
    Bourne Captain RoleModel007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Treadstone
    Posts
    2,322
    Rep Power
    83

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sachingulyani View Post
    Please don't teach anybody about 498a. It should be avoided. If they cant live together then live separately but atleast don't harass someone by 498a where in husband as well as husband's parents get tortured without any proof.
    Indian law system always favour girl but what about male rights? My friend's wife is physically abusing my friend where in my friend can't do anything other then defending himself just because that in Indian law there is no section for protection of male rights..
    I can understand your emotions, I have a worse tale about a close one succumbing to 498a misuse. However, if need be and reasons are valid there should not be stopping someone from using it.

  15. #15
    New Born
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    delhi
    Posts
    4
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    treat him like a kid...........

Similar Threads

  1. Husband is insulting and abusive
    By Unregistered in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-09-2012, 04:00 PM
  2. alcoholic and abusive husband
    By varunajain in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-06-2009, 06:19 PM
  3. angry, abusive husband.....RSA
    By Preeto Maam in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-11-2007, 09:25 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •