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Thread: Confused Lover/husband

  1. #1
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    Default Confused Lover/husband

    Hi,

    I am a succesfull businessmen having interests in varlous industries. I am in late 50's married with 2 grown up children both adults on the verge of marriage in next couple of years. One of them is engaged to be married.

    I have been in a relationship with my secretary now since last 5 years and my wife also has the full knowledge about this relation. She is in her late 30's and always told me since last 3 years that she would not get married, remain loyal to me for rest of my/our life and also not want kids. Everything was all ok till this year me & my wife went on a holiday for a month. We always used to have this fight whenever she came to know that I was out with my family with our without kids for a movie or club or just dinner. The pressure would rise specially on birthdays where she wanted me to be the first one to call her and wish her at 12.00 am sharp, same case on New Year with my wife around. Those days got messy at either end. If I called up....wife has a problem and first class fight whole night & if I did not the fight in office but fights for me were inevitable from any end. Otherwise wife never came to office and both on office get to gathers did avoid eye contact or any kind of confrontation. That was a relief as both knew their limits and my standing in society. She always said that she would never ruin my marriage or take me away from my kids. Unfortunately my parents also were separated and I was afraid of history repeating itself.

    Now, after our trip and suddenly this month she found herself someone who she liked and is well settled in life. She plans to marry him but also continue our relations.

    The problem is that personally I am now very possessive about her and cannot see her in any other persons arms. We did have some heated discussion on this matter but now she is adamant. I reminded her about the promises etc...but as told earlier she will continue to be in relationship with me after marriage also and she has given it in writing. She still considers me her first love and the marriage is just an adjustment in life for her. I am going thru a state of shock, mild depression as I can not let go of her. My wife has seen this and is ready to move out with kids. I am possessive of my wife and my kids also though I can talk to them, do not wish to bring the subject up. Maybe they have a idea about it ...but not sure. I cannot leave any of the women in my life. One who takes care of me at home and the other one in office. Both love me and are willing to sacrifice also so that the other ones life is not ruined. From my side it is also the same case. Wife is ready to give me divorce so I can marry her. I had suggested that we all 5 stay together in the same house and she gets the status of my wife. Wife has no problems but she does not want to share the same roof. We have another house in suburbs but I am not comfortable in suburbs.

    Anyway require full guidance....

    Confused lover/Husband

  2. #2
    New Born sachingulyani's Avatar
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    you want to have all the things, your secretarty, wife, kids, etc. I dont know how could one wife adjust like this. Your wife is a gem. Atleast respect your wife and stop behaving like immature student of college. Love your wife and let that other women who does not have any dignity and self respect go away to other guy.

  3. #3
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    In your other query, you were in 40's. Come the fcuk on man, be real.

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    There is a simple solution to your problem.

    There is the concept of an outhouse, which has a separate Roof. And why go into details of your Virgin kids? (On the Verge, but not in). If your religion does not allow Polygamy, she will be provided the status of a concubine. Take some courage from Karunanidhi, who has a "Chinna Veedu" in every locality of Chennai. Or from Ram Vilas Paswan who sleeps in between his 2 wives. (not sure who is being punished here)

    Finally, a Secretary says - Good Morning Sir and a Private Secretary says - It's morning Sir.

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    I meant late 40's

  6. #6
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    I would like Preeto mam to reply. Also after going thru boys details he is lying left right & center to the girl. His income is not more the 20000 pm instead of nearly 80000 prr month as he tld her.

  7. #7
    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hershey View Post
    Hi,

    I am a succesfull businessmen having interests in varlous industries. I am in late 50's married with 2 grown up children both adults on the verge of marriage in next couple of years. One of them is engaged to be married.

    I have been in a relationship with my secretary now since last 5 years and my wife also has the full knowledge about this relation. She is in her late 30's and always told me since last 3 years that she would not get married, remain loyal to me for rest of my/our life and also not want kids. Everything was all ok till this year me & my wife went on a holiday for a month. We always used to have this fight whenever she came to know that I was out with my family with our without kids for a movie or club or just dinner. The pressure would rise specially on birthdays where she wanted me to be the first one to call her and wish her at 12.00 am sharp, same case on New Year with my wife around. Those days got messy at either end. If I called up....wife has a problem and first class fight whole night & if I did not the fight in office but fights for me were inevitable from any end. Otherwise wife never came to office and both on office get to gathers did avoid eye contact or any kind of confrontation. That was a relief as both knew their limits and my standing in society. She always said that she would never ruin my marriage or take me away from my kids. Unfortunately my parents also were separated and I was afraid of history repeating itself.

    Now, after our trip and suddenly this month she found herself someone who she liked and is well settled in life. She plans to marry him but also continue our relations.

    The problem is that personally I am now very possessive about her and cannot see her in any other persons arms. We did have some heated discussion on this matter but now she is adamant. I reminded her about the promises etc...but as told earlier she will continue to be in relationship with me after marriage also and she has given it in writing. She still considers me her first love and the marriage is just an adjustment in life for her. I am going thru a state of shock, mild depression as I can not let go of her. My wife has seen this and is ready to move out with kids. I am possessive of my wife and my kids also though I can talk to them, do not wish to bring the subject up. Maybe they have a idea about it ...but not sure. I cannot leave any of the women in my life. One who takes care of me at home and the other one in office. Both love me and are willing to sacrifice also so that the other ones life is not ruined. From my side it is also the same case. Wife is ready to give me divorce so I can marry her. I had suggested that we all 5 stay together in the same house and she gets the status of my wife. Wife has no problems but she does not want to share the same roof. We have another house in suburbs but I am not comfortable in suburbs.

    Anyway require full guidance....

    Confused lover/Husband
    common same query wid chane in age.

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