I was married on 3rd Feb 2013 with a colleague from my office though we never met as I was onsite since she joined my company. It was an arrange+love marriage ( I fell in love with her after we got engaged). Since my engagement to her, i started conversing with her and always felt that her perspective towards life was "too good to be true". I tried to tell her this many times but she kept sticking to bookish ideals like being a homely girl, respecting parents etc. We married within 2 months of knowing each other period as we both stayed in same city and both were staying alone. I have stayed alone in same city for last 8 years and thought that finally will get someone to share my feelings with ( I am an introvert person with few friends). Our marriage took place in my hometown and we came back to our working city with in a week of our marriage.
As both of us were in jobs and could not manage lots of leaves, we had to skip our honey moon (which she made a big issue but i managed the situation). We could not get to spend much time together because:
1) Both were in job
2) I have touring job and had to go onsite on regular basis
3) Both are two opposite poles, what i like she does not and what she does, i cant
With in two months of our marriage she got pregnant, though we had sex for not more than 5 times ( that too on higher side). She has always been very reluctant towards my sexual advances and keep reminding me of honey moon incident. She had a lot of health hazards after getting pregnant and I had to make her leave her job as I could not see her in such a condition. I earn well and literally do not need a helping hand to run things and I am thankful to god for that.
In June 2013, I had to go to onsite for a month and she preferred to stay at her parents house rather mine and I did not make any issue of it. While, I was onsite, she had a change in mind and went to home town to stay with my parents but took this decision when 1 week was left in my return. Any how, I overlooked all this and brought her back to my working location and started staying there with her. For the first time after almost 5 months, I started feeling that my in laws had a lot of intervention in our married life. In fact, they tried their level best to abort our first child to which me and my parents resisted successfully. After staying with me for a month, she went to her parents house in "Savan" and never came back since then.
While she was at her parents house, me and my wife had a spat on what car to be purchased but this time again her mother intervened and called my parents to tell them that our marriage is over. My parents got very furious as I never let any thing bad to reach them but after this incident, I had to tell them the truth that my married life was nothing but a mere social drama, there was no love in it at all. My parents went to bring my wife back but her parents did not let her come stating that she was very depressed because of all this ( there was literally not that big of an incident).
I tried to converse with her but she just talks like ladies, always taunting on me, always making me realize my shortcomings etc. I am a confident man and generally over look her such behavior but she touched my limits when she misbehaved with my mother over phone a big time. She even called my father and told him all bad things.
On 9th Dec 2013, she gave a birth to little princess. Her parents did not inform my parents about it and simply texted about this ( i was expecting a call) but never mind I went there to hold my first child in my arms. But, nothing changed in all this time ( 5 months of separation), my wife and in laws were behaving just the way they always behaved with me.
I married thinking that finally I would have someone else's voice in my house to hear but i failed. I still listen to silence which was there for 8 years and in fact it has darken.
I need help to understand:
1) What to do when my wife has informed everyone that she is not a homely girl and wants to work and be independent? ( My take - Very good do it but now u r married and have me and baby to look after)
2) She has told every personal thing of mine to everyone. ( My take - broken my trust in real bad way, will be very difficult to come on same terms again).
3) Accused me of being miser and informed everyone that she is the one who has been running house for so many months, what ever time we stayed together. ( My take - A big fat lie, I have bank statements to compare)
4) She does not respect my parents and does not ( literally) understand that her parents should not intervene in our affairs very much. ( My take - We both are 28 years old and cannot expect her to be guided just by her parents thoughts).
---------------------- What should I do for my little princess who is away from me and to let her know that her father misses her very much -----------------------------