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Thread: marriage at d end

  1. #1
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    Default marriage at d end

    i m a 28/female got married one year before but from starting it was not a perfect relation. we started having huge fights after 2-3 months itself on small issues... he even physically harmed me many times.. but after that he said sorry n everytime i thought it was only in anger n i have to give him a chance and tried to djust with him. but last week he again harmed me physically n i ran from home n complaint in police. next day his parents came n they blamed me n said shits about me in police station n even told that they will marry him other girl. now my family is so angry that they want to file a case in court becoz it was just d end of my life that day if i were not escaped from that place.. i m in so much tension n confusion actually i still love him and i know he also loves me(but mind says if he ever loved me thn he wil not have tried to kill me) and i dont want to go to court n cant even think to go back to him becoz he vill never change n his family dont like me. for me there is option to live alone forever n dont give him divorce or to go to court for judgement. please give me suggestions.

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    No form of violence should be tolerated or condoned. It is regressive to suffer and endure torture.

    Please file a complaint as per the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005. Love is the foundation of any relationship. Trust is the foundation of Love. Empathy is the foundation of Trust. Sue the p_rick and take him to task. Do a favour to yourself and to society.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned, right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality and Domestic Violence

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    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    i m a 28/female got married one year before but from starting it was not a perfect relation. we started having huge fights after 2-3 months itself on small issues... he even physically harmed me many times.. but after that he said sorry n everytime i thought it was only in anger n i have to give him a chance and tried to djust with him. but last week he again harmed me physically n i ran from home n complaint in police. next day his parents came n they blamed me n said shits about me in police station n even told that they will marry him other girl. now my family is so angry that they want to file a case in court becoz it was just d end of my life that day if i were not escaped from that place.. i m in so much tension n confusion actually i still love him and i know he also loves me(but mind says if he ever loved me thn he wil not have tried to kill me) and i dont want to go to court n cant even think to go back to him becoz he vill never change n his family dont like me. for me there is option to live alone forever n dont give him divorce or to go to court for judgement. please give me suggestions.
    Considering that yours is a genuine case, You can follow Logical Guru's advice if your are ready to roam to court halls for the next 15years, that includes roaming for getting divorce and also to get alms, without gaining anything, or just find another bloke and get married that's after giving this good for nothing divorce.

    Take2:

    You can try to change him, his behavior.. They say Love conquers all.

    Good luck.
    आपका अपना,
    Gudu Gudu ರಿಟರ್ನ್ಸ್

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    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    " He tried to kill me "

    "I love him"

    "He loves me"


    Well, all these statements cannot be used to explain a single relationship. ! You MUST take him to court, put him behind the bars and make him pay for trying to harm you physically. Such men deserve to be hanged from their ******s and left hanging for weeks.

    G'day

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    Physical violence is against the law. you should sue him without thinking, and claim for compensation so that he remembers, not to physically torture any women again in his goddamn life.

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    File the formal complaint, get a lawyer, send him a divorce notice, get the medical tests done and expose him to al the relatives and society. The next course of action will be divorce and finding a new life for you.

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    Assuming what you said is all true, violence against any one is not pardonable. I would also say that tolerating violence without hitting back should be equally punishable.

    Physical violence is illegal but going to court to punish him will surely punish you as well as Indian courts are known to punish complainant by delayed justice and paltry relief. Remember unless you have solid, legally valid evidences you can harrass him but can not ensure punishment for his physical violance.

    Best option is to move out of his life by getting divorce and start life afresh. Empowered woman is not the one who makes police complaint but the one who finds her own ways without being dependent on men for any thing.

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    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
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    Divoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor ce le lo
    आपका अपना,
    Gudu Gudu ರಿಟರ್ನ್ಸ್

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    i posted tis query..wtever is d mis understanding is it good for a husband to physically harm his wifeand dont even realising that u have done anything worng

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    Quote Originally Posted by sona.12 View Post
    i posted tis query..wtever is d mis understanding is it good for a husband to physically harm his wifeand dont even realising that u have done anything worng
    Maarne wala woh, maar khane wali aap. agar aapko phir bhi koi gila shikwa nahi pati se toh no problem. Many a wife;s find getting beaten a pleasurable activity. Choice of continuing in the marriage is entirely up to you or get divorce.

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    He harms you physically, You still love him - I reckon you should join self defense class like judo or karate.

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    Well, most men do what your hubby does to you - either in a marriage or bf-gf relationship - its not new or something so basically you've to decide if you can help him change or find a better suitor for yourself,
    1. Help him change with love, affection, emotions etc - Might be a life long commitment or even mid to long term - Are you up for this?
    2. Divorce him - You live independently for a while, learn a thing or two of living alone - grow stronger and when you're ready then find a suitor. If dating is your thing then get to know a few guys
    3. Get Separated - Tell him, you need a break and live alone for a while and then give him several chances to re-start from scratch all over again!
    My pick - Option 3
    Since he loves you and you love him too, I take it you don't wanna harm him maybe when you leave he might change for good or get worse for bad.
    Last edited by VampireViking; 25-01-2014 at 03:29 AM.

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    divorce is the option....

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    ​explain him with families together...if happens again....divorce him n get married again........
    happiness needs no reason

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    It's totally your call what to do. You can take advices but the final decision i believe should be one that is made totally uninfluenced. Do not allow anyone to make that for you. Anger is indeed the most corrosive element in a relationship, you will have to decide whether he's was a learnt behaviour passed on from his parents or was it due to his inability to fix problems by talking them out. Though there is no excuse for violence, i do feel that theres a ray of hope if it's the latter. Its a catch 22 situation. On one hand you need to give him another chance to find out, on the other hand you are left fearing the safety of your life.
    So may it be

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