This is a really long thread..So apologies for the length of my woes in the beginning itself!!I met him in 2008 when I was 23 and he was 52..He was my boss at work..I'll call him M..Divorced, with two kids..a daughter (3 yrs younger to me) and a son (5 years younger to me) who were both in college.. absolutely charming, super intelligent..He asked me out for dinner within the first week of work..I said No..he persisted and i finally said yes to a dinner date after six months of him having asked me out the first time..I was absolutely floored by him..He told me it was the first time he was actually free in life as he had looked after his kids and aged mum all his life and came across as quite bitter abt his divorce and other things in life..my heart went out for him..He didnt want a committed relationship..I said if he wanted to be with me, he would have to give me a committed relationship..I told him i took my relationships very seriously and would die if he didnt commit..His family was looking at him settling down again at that point and had almost fixed him up with this hot shot doctor (around 47 yrs old)..He gave that up for me..The next 3-3.5 yrs were blissful..He helped me clear a very important competitive exam, by his constant moral support and am today in a highly respectable job( the studying part i did on my own)..He even paid for my coaching classes and mess bills at times..I got integrated into his family..It was a strange equation but it worked..His kids knew abt us and eventually i even began staying over at his place with his son being around..I got along famously with his kids..He gradually began acknowledging me in front of his family too..I was convinced about "US"..His relatives would say that they had never seen him happier..I happen to be an only daughter of a fairly middle class family from a small town..My parents were in the meanwhile pressurising me to get married and i turned down a whole lot of proposals, because of my relationship with him..
However in 2012, our relationship began undergoing stress..he was shifting between very important jobs and he asked me not to keep troubling him with relationship woes..I at that point wanted a break in our relationship but did not have the guts to tell him as i was scared of how he would react..I told him i wanted to go back home to my parents as my father would require my assistance..He said I didnt have to shift cities for that, and he would extend all possible help..i cudnt think of any other excuse to leave..in hindsight i should have left then..My parents had throughout been under the impression that M was acting like a local guardian..I didnt have the guts to tell them the truth..I thought that it was important to work out on our relationship and stuck on..
Then in April 2013, i met somebody.. i'll call him A..Our conversations started from a purely platonic basis over msgs..However something was clicking there and i was getting hopelessly attracted to this new person..Before anything serious developed though M discovered my msgs and put a complete ban on it..He had my phone tapped and had gotten my room bugged once to hear my conversations with my friends..I was extremely guilty and promised him M, I wudnt pursue it..This was in July 2013..I stopped talking to A completely..But i cudnt get him out of my mind..However at that point M's son was taking a very important exam (the same competitive exam i had taken and cleared) and decided to back off till his exams were over and not disturb M from concentrating on his son who has a physical handicap and required his dad's assistance..In the meanwhile M made a friend call up A and asked him to back off from me..I was extremely irritated by this call and scolded M for infringing on my privacy..M got angry at this and reprimanded me for taking against him for another guy..I did not speak to A thereafter..However M and I kept fighting through Aug, Sept, Oct and Dec over this..After his son's exams in Dec, I begged M to allow me to Call A once..In the meanwhile M told me that he was anyways willing to let go of me in 2014 as he knew there was a huge age gap between us and he understood my need to start a family and my parents expectations..and I should look at other options..I told him at that point that i really liked A and would really like to give it a chance..He was completely against it and said A wasnt right for me at all as his family wasnt right..Our job profiles didnt match and he didnt deserve me..He asked me to walk out if i wanted to but i was extremely scared and guilty and in debt of all that M had done for me..He extracted a promise out of me that i wudnt keep in touch with A..M even called my father up and asked him to advise me in the right direction..I tried meeting other guys but it just wasnt happening..I didnt keep in touch with A upto March 2014..But in March 2014, I got bk in touch and this time he came to meet me..I met A after a year..I had met him a year earlier for about 4 days..i met him for abt 7 days and decided A was it..i kept in touch with him through april and may 2014..In the meanwhile M's son didnt clear the exam and he blamed me for it as i put him through so much mental torture and he cudnt contribute towards his son's welfare because of me..then A came for his annual leave in mid june 2014 and we met..M got to know abt this and all hell broke loose..He threatened me with dire consequences if i pursued it..at each point i would feel guilty for doing this to him and we wud try getting bk..not in a man woman way but as two ppl who cared for each other..M said that he wanted to keep in touch with me for life and he wudnt be able to do it as it was unthinkable for him to see me settle down with somebody who didnt deserve me..He said he wud introduce me to other "proper" guys as he had a stake in my welfare as he had made me and given me respect in society vis a vis my job..M in the meanwhile sent msgs to A telling him abt how "loose" i was in character..He said he was doing it for my good and welfare and wanted to kill my relationship..He asked me to choose between A and him..I finally had the guts and told him I choose A..He has been mad ever since..He even said he wud send photographs of mine to A's family to ensure that our relationship never worked out..He said that even if things were to work out between A and I, he wud ensure that it never worked out in the long run..he wud ensure that A's career was destroyed and my reputation got spoilt as i has spoiled his son's chances at his exams and spoiled his 1.5 years..I have begged M to not spoil my relationship as my time for marriage is running out reputation is of paramount importance, but he says he's on a warpath now and he's going to ensure i'm never happy..he says that i had a number of chances to leave and not hurt him but i chose otherwise so he'll do wat he deems right now..He asks me not to equate marriage with A and go ahead with a "proper" guy or with all of the other proposals that have come about for me..But I cant get myself to like anybody else..M now accuses me of having used him, being frivolous and taking him for a ride and cheating him..he says I am responsible for changing him as a man, for taking away his chance at settling down etc etc and says he could get younger girls to date..He is currently dating somebody younger to me on a rebound and has been with a number of younger women in their 20's just to prove a point to me..I am going into depression and guilt for having put M through this and havent spent one evening without crying in the past 1.5 yrs..M says he is being magnanimous enough by letting me go but it should be with somebody proper..My parents btw are fine with A but i cant risk M harming A in any way(M is quite influential)..Am in a fix..I have a fantastic respectable job, but am miserable in my personal life..is there even a way out??
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