Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: I've been thoroughly cheated in Love

  1. #1
    Unregistered
    Guest

    Default I've been thoroughly cheated in Love

    I was in complete love with a girl whom i first met in early 2007 at the firm's training program. We were in complete love with each other for next 5 years, though there were small hitches in between as is always the case. After 4 years while we stayed in the same city, we both moved to different cities for a few months owing to the work commitments. However, i felt the love was always intact as we had both planned for marriage soon. Few months later she moved to her home back in Delhi and joined another firm saying that she will have time to convince her parents (as we had different religions). However, as soon as she reached Delhi, there was a substantial difference in her behaviour. She started shouting and blaming me for even the smallest of the things. As i truely loved her , i kept silent and did not confront her for her behaviour. Once I went to Delhi for some work but she refused to meet me saying that she cannot as she is now at home. Similar things transpired and one thing led to another. While she was in Delhi, i once send her flowers in her birthday for which she shouted at me for doing so and the rationale was that what her Chacha would think. Few days after we once had a fight when we did not speak to each other for a week. In between i kept her sending E Cards expressing how much i loved her but did not speak. When there was no response for a week, i called her and she said that she is engaged to someone. I was in complete state of shock and wanted her to meet me once, which she wasnt eager to. How can one do that, i thought ? I had to beg her to meet me once and i rushed to Delhi. When i met her, she said she is already attached to his guy. I bursted into tears. 5 years of love meant nothing ? I loved her so much. After so many pleads, he then said she would reconsider and so i came back to my workplace in another city. That is when she started abusing my love. Stopped picking calls and whenever she picked after 100 tries , she used to speak for a minute, shout at me , abuse me , and ridicule me for behaving this way and that way. All i was trying to do is convince her that what she is doing is wrong. She cannot abuse my love of 5 years without a reason. Then she started giving reasons which were so miniscule in nature. Something like that i said this one day, that i dont value her cousins etc etc. and that i did not take initiative to get married earlier. She just gave reasons to ensure that her conscience is clear. We had always planned to get married in January 2011. Even in September 2010, before she moved to Delhi, i went to her city and discussed that we will get married in Jan/Feb 2011 and we were both happy. However, she went back to Delhi in Oct 2010 and in a matter of month and a half she eventually left me in Dec 2010 for someone ese. I used to cry profusely over calls every time she used to pick up after so many Emails and Call attempts to which she said to say N number of bad things to me. Eventually she made her fiance call her though her phone to threaten me with police complaint. This is what is got for loving and caring so much ? I went into acute deepression for next 2 years. It did not take much for eyes to be flodded with tears and the place and time did not matter.

    People in love find reasons to stay back. But all possible and not so justifiable reasons were found to abandon me. Reasons were found and fought over to make a strong conviction for your decisions. As i look back, I connect all the dots. I was cheated for long time as i am so sure that the case against me was made long time before i ever knew. I was just too confident and trusted blindly. There are some lessons that you do not want to learn in life, and this is one of them. I have felt betrayed! But how do people stay happy and rest in peace by imposing sorrow on others - on the same people who once were a big part of their lives?

    Though i am much better now, i wonder do people ever have any guilt conscience when they do what they do ? How do people who so much loved you once change in a matter of few weeks that your existence do not matter to them ? You live or die they dont look back to see what state you are on ? How do people have the heart to abuse your love in the worst possible way, i have just not been able to understand. I am so pessimist about love. It has been three years but my mornings and nights begin with her thought and how badly i was treated after having loved so much more than anything in life. I need to "move on".

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,024
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Hi! Yes, the last line did sum up what you need to do- you need to move on. I understand that 5 years is a long time committment and the roots do down very deep, but seems like she was not convinced in her mind that she was going to have a long-time relationship with you- perhaps because of the different religions(?)
    Anyway, what's happened is unfortunate but you really have to pick up the pieces and get yourself together. 3 years is a long time to have spent on brooding and the only person you are causing grief to is yourself- not really worth it, is it?

  3. #3
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Dev bhumi Himachal
    Posts
    8,493
    Rep Power
    74

    Default

    Yes...u have really gone thru a tough time..but it was not ur mistake.I blame the girl, not for ditching u but for commiting to u when she knew her parents wont agree for this marriage.We dont kno she left u bcoz of her parents or bcoz se fell for smbdy else.It was her mistak in both case. U r brave enough n hav already gone thru a lot in these yrs.Some ppl r moron n u cant do anything.They wil surely pay back for their karma.Whatever we do good/bad wil come back to us.Stay strong as u were in these yrs.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  4. #4
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    god's own country!
    Posts
    8,761
    Rep Power
    63

    Default

    Some people are like UFO...you don't know where they come from..you don't know where they go to..they don't even think that we are worth for an explanation..and they leave us..
    But honestly you should thank god for not making your life destroyed forever by marrying her..now that she ditched you,your life is in distress only for a comparatively short time span..what if you married her and had to bear with her the rest of your life? So this hard time is actually a blessing,which you may not realize now..but definitely later...
    I'm not going to tell you anything more because I know how you feel and there's no use of talking about the past...but you definitely have to stop thinking about her..even if that means purposefully...and remember one thing,god makes us meet so many wrong people so that one day when you meet the right one,you know how to be thankful to him...and this too,when you finally meet that one person,you will realize why it never worked with anybody else...
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

  5. #5
    SB Addict
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    542
    Rep Power
    35

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I was in complete love with a girl whom i first met in early 2007 at the firm's training program. We were in complete love with each other for next 5 years, though there were small hitches in between as is always the case. After 4 years while we stayed in the same city, we both moved to different cities for a few months owing to the work commitments. However, i felt the love was always intact as we had both planned for marriage soon. Few months later she moved to her home back in Delhi and joined another firm saying that she will have time to convince her parents (as we had different religions). However, as soon as she reached Delhi, there was a substantial difference in her behaviour. She started shouting and blaming me for even the smallest of the things. As i truely loved her , i kept silent and did not confront her for her behaviour. Once I went to Delhi for some work but she refused to meet me saying that she cannot as she is now at home. Similar things transpired and one thing led to another. While she was in Delhi, i once send her flowers in her birthday for which she shouted at me for doing so and the rationale was that what her Chacha would think. Few days after we once had a fight when we did not speak to each other for a week. In between i kept her sending E Cards expressing how much i loved her but did not speak. When there was no response for a week, i called her and she said that she is engaged to someone. I was in complete state of shock and wanted her to meet me once, which she wasnt eager to. How can one do that, i thought ? I had to beg her to meet me once and i rushed to Delhi. When i met her, she said she is already attached to his guy. I bursted into tears. 5 years of love meant nothing ? I loved her so much. After so many pleads, he then said she would reconsider and so i came back to my workplace in another city. That is when she started abusing my love. Stopped picking calls and whenever she picked after 100 tries , she used to speak for a minute, shout at me , abuse me , and ridicule me for behaving this way and that way. All i was trying to do is convince her that what she is doing is wrong. She cannot abuse my love of 5 years without a reason. Then she started giving reasons which were so miniscule in nature. Something like that i said this one day, that i dont value her cousins etc etc. and that i did not take initiative to get married earlier. She just gave reasons to ensure that her conscience is clear. We had always planned to get married in January 2011. Even in September 2010, before she moved to Delhi, i went to her city and discussed that we will get married in Jan/Feb 2011 and we were both happy. However, she went back to Delhi in Oct 2010 and in a matter of month and a half she eventually left me in Dec 2010 for someone ese. I used to cry profusely over calls every time she used to pick up after so many Emails and Call attempts to which she said to say N number of bad things to me. Eventually she made her fiance call her though her phone to threaten me with police complaint. This is what is got for loving and caring so much ? I went into acute deepression for next 2 years. It did not take much for eyes to be flodded with tears and the place and time did not matter.

    People in love find reasons to stay back. But all possible and not so justifiable reasons were found to abandon me. Reasons were found and fought over to make a strong conviction for your decisions. As i look back, I connect all the dots. I was cheated for long time as i am so sure that the case against me was made long time before i ever knew. I was just too confident and trusted blindly. There are some lessons that you do not want to learn in life, and this is one of them. I have felt betrayed! But how do people stay happy and rest in peace by imposing sorrow on others - on the same people who once were a big part of their lives?

    Though i am much better now, i wonder do people ever have any guilt conscience when they do what they do ? How do people who so much loved you once change in a matter of few weeks that your existence do not matter to them ? You live or die they dont look back to see what state you are on ? How do people have the heart to abuse your love in the worst possible way, i have just not been able to understand. I am so pessimist about love. It has been three years but my mornings and nights begin with her thought and how badly i was treated after having loved so much more than anything in life. I need to "move on".

    i see you have seen the world of love..
    its all about better and safe prospects brother...
    i cant advise on how to "move on" because i am suffering from same idiocracy...
    i had read somewhere that if you forgive easily, then you will not waste your energy and time on such things..be it forgiving others or yourself..
    having said that i know for a fact that its not easy...but you can try...and if you succeed just let me know how you did that...
    everyone have their reasons for a particular action...so just try to let it go..
    there must be moments of anger,sadness and frustration...just try to pull yourself out of it...
    and there is no such thing as conscience..colder you are, lesser is the chance of pain..
    all d best

  6. #6
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Dev bhumi Himachal
    Posts
    8,493
    Rep Power
    74

    Default

    I cant tell much how to move on but trust me i hav observed till date tht u cannot escape the consequences of ur actions. What she has done she wud pay for it by nature's law. U dont need to be sad or develop hatred for her or any damm person of this world.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  7. #7
    SB Champion Lieutenant Inspector Pathan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Edgware Road
    Posts
    1,112
    Rep Power
    39

    Default

    you never know who is happy and who is not...as you are not always present with them......no one in this world can fight against the nature after few years she will face consequences ....someone did bad with you don't have to become like them....leave it...

    what is happening is you are recalling the the thing in your mind again and again.....stop doing that....everything will be fine....don't ask so many questions....not every question has an answer....good luck....

  8. #8
    New Born
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    2
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Same situation

    Above is the quote given by this website but you know whatever it is saying above. Its just a saying kunke bolna bahut asan hota hai nibhana hamesha mushkil..... Friend.. Whatever happened to you is the same story of my life and just recently on 15th nov 2014 this guy said tata bye after being with me for 05 years. But life shouldnt stopped.

    Whatever you written there is no doubt you loved that (**) that girl so much..
    God is there and dont worry everything will be fine
    Last edited by sheetalsh; 15-12-2014 at 07:55 PM. Reason: I WANT TO EDIT

  9. #9
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,215
    Rep Power
    42

    Default

    TIME is the best healer

  10. #10
    Bourne Captain RoleModel007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Treadstone
    Posts
    2,322
    Rep Power
    67

    Default

    1. Go through it, not around it. Make yourself understand that she is now useless to you and past between you and her is as good as dead and buried.

    2. There is no shame in admitting that you where there playing a second fiddle for her in handling her emotional stress. Every other person in this world has a sobbing story about love.

    3. You have been through a two years worth of pain and that should be it. Get up and move on and don't ever look back. Enough of Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" or Taylor Swift's "Blank Space" on that playlist. Time for "Walking on Sunshine" from Katrina & The Waves.

    4. Hang around with people. There will be someone who would make you laugh, smile, grow, lust, want, crave, feel, mad but happy.... again and again.

    First, ridiculed. Second, violently opposed. Third, accepted as being self-evident.

  11. #11
    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,498
    Rep Power
    41

    Default

    There are different kinds of people.. so you cant do much. The only thing you have to do is hang tight and complete this journey called life.
    You never know what you can become ..

  12. #12
    New Born
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    60
    Rep Power
    27

    Default

    You're a stupid idiot!!! Both of you knew what you were getting into when you started dating. Both of you knew she would have problems convincing her parents due to her religion. So you guys chose to ignore it and continued loving each other while living away from parents. Then one day, her parents said "Daughter, I want you to come home and check out a few guys to get married to." Perhaps she told her parents about you and they were not convinced that you were the right guy for her. So they got her engaged as quickly as they could. She was stuck between you and her parents. She, of course, chose her parents instead of you. (I would have done the same. Especially with high divorce rates, husbands/boyfriends/lovers come and go, but parents are forever.) She tried to tell you about the choice she made. You didn't like her choice, so like a little kid, you kept nagging her. Calling her, begging her, etc. to take you back. And that the love you both shared should come before her parents choices for her and her future. -- Let me ask you -- in your life has anyone besides your ex-girlfriend abandoned you or hurt you physically or mentally. Think back to a time when you were young. Did something happen that had caused you a shock or something disturbing that you have kept within yourself and not let anyone know about it. -- The reason I'm asking, is that, you thought you can ignore the real problem by hiding behind your girlfriend (her love for you). You thought that as long as she is with you, everything will be alright. But the depression, crying, sadness which seems to still go on is due to a deeper problem in your life. You need to figure out what this problem is. This "problem" existed before you met your girlfriend and you have ignored it. The depression may not be due to your girlfriend leaving you but due to something else in your past. I maybe completely wrong but think about it.
    I understand, it may be difficult for you to forget your ex-girlfriend since you still think about her everyday even after all these years. It seems to me that you force yourself to think about her so you don't have to think about the real problem. There are so many people we meet in life. Think of this as an oppurtunity to find someone else, and love someone else. Consider yourself lucky to be honored to have loved someone and moving forward to love another human being. If you are afraid of being hurt by relationships then just be alone by yourself. Being alone has great benifits as well. No one can hurt you emotionally if you are by yourself (only you can do that then).
    If you choose to be in a relationship with someone else (in the future) then don't be afraid if things don't work out. Life is a learning process. Who ever said you have to be in love with just one person your entire life. You can still honor the memories of your ex-girlfriend and love another person. If the next relationship doesn't work out, then move forward to another one. There are 9 billion people in this world. Just consider yourself lucky to have loved so many people in this world while being alive.

  13. #13
    New Born
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2
    Rep Power
    0

    Default face the truth...

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I was in complete love with a girl whom i first met in early 2007 at the firm's training program. We were in complete love with each other for next 5 years, though there were small hitches in between as is always the case. After 4 years while we stayed in the same city, we both moved to different cities for a few months owing to the work commitments. However, i felt the love was always intact as we had both planned for marriage soon. Few months later she moved to her home back in Delhi and joined another firm saying that she will have time to convince her parents (as we had different religions). However, as soon as she reached Delhi, there was a substantial difference in her behaviour. She started shouting and blaming me for even the smallest of the things. As i truely loved her , i kept silent and did not confront her for her behaviour. Once I went to Delhi for some work but she refused to meet me saying that she cannot as she is now at home. Similar things transpired and one thing led to another. While she was in Delhi, i once send her flowers in her birthday for which she shouted at me for doing so and the rationale was that what her Chacha would think. Few days after we once had a fight when we did not speak to each other for a week. In between i kept her sending E Cards expressing how much i loved her but did not speak. When there was no response for a week, i called her and she said that she is engaged to someone. I was in complete state of shock and wanted her to meet me once, which she wasnt eager to. How can one do that, i thought ? I had to beg her to meet me once and i rushed to Delhi. When i met her, she said she is already attached to his guy. I bursted into tears. 5 years of love meant nothing ? I loved her so much. After so many pleads, he then said she would reconsider and so i came back to my workplace in another city. That is when she started abusing my love. Stopped picking calls and whenever she picked after 100 tries , she used to speak for a minute, shout at me , abuse me , and ridicule me for behaving this way and that way. All i was trying to do is convince her that what she is doing is wrong. She cannot abuse my love of 5 years without a reason. Then she started giving reasons which were so miniscule in nature. Something like that i said this one day, that i dont value her cousins etc etc. and that i did not take initiative to get married earlier. She just gave reasons to ensure that her conscience is clear. We had always planned to get married in January 2011. Even in September 2010, before she moved to Delhi, i went to her city and discussed that we will get married in Jan/Feb 2011 and we were both happy. However, she went back to Delhi in Oct 2010 and in a matter of month and a half she eventually left me in Dec 2010 for someone ese. I used to cry profusely over calls every time she used to pick up after so many Emails and Call attempts to which she said to say N number of bad things to me. Eventually she made her fiance call her though her phone to threaten me with police complaint. This is what is got for loving and caring so much ? I went into acute deepression for next 2 years. It did not take much for eyes to be flodded with tears and the place and time did not matter.

    People in love find reasons to stay back. But all possible and not so justifiable reasons were found to abandon me. Reasons were found and fought over to make a strong conviction for your decisions. As i look back, I connect all the dots. I was cheated for long time as i am so sure that the case against me was made long time before i ever knew. I was just too confident and trusted blindly. There are some lessons that you do not want to learn in life, and this is one of them. I have felt betrayed! But how do people stay happy and rest in peace by imposing sorrow on others - on the same people who once were a big part of their lives?

    Though i am much better now, i wonder do people ever have any guilt conscience when they do what they do ? How do people who so much loved you once change in a matter of few weeks that your existence do not matter to them ? You live or die they dont look back to see what state you are on ? How do people have the heart to abuse your love in the worst possible way, i have just not been able to understand. I am so pessimist about love. It has been three years but my mornings and nights begin with her thought and how badly i was treated after having loved so much more than anything in life. I need to "move on".


    rightly said- people in love truly, do find reasons to stay in love..
    she doesn't deserve your love. you may have given everything for love but i guess love is never one sided.
    both have to give equal sacrifices, make similar compromises to make it last longer..
    for her may be due to family pressure she backed out on you.
    in a certain way it is quite valid given the divided society of our country.
    we still live to please the society rather to please ourselves.
    no matter how "modern life style" we adopt our base is still what it used to be earlier.
    we still are in a society divided by religion, caste and status.
    i myself have been a victim of this divided society.
    good luck to you friend, i know it's v hard to ponder over past life.
    move on, find some one better, fall in love again..
    life is beautiful, life will give you another chance..

  14. #14
    Young Gun
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Pune
    Posts
    422
    Rep Power
    33

    Default

    Dear... please come out of your suffering..... All her actions were preplanned for her to MOVE ON and she had not thought about you at all... that what would happen to you......
    She is selfish and above all cunning as well...... Thank to God that you are not victim of her atrocity...........
    Believe me KARMA exists and sooner or later she will be tried for what she had done.........

    She do not deserve you thinking and love..... with time when you will get your true match... you will come out of it......completely.... this is a temporary phase.....
    Cheers..... Smile Always......

Similar Threads

  1. Always end up getting cheated
    By bgoel in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 15-10-2010, 11:25 PM
  2. Cheated on BF but love him lots
    By ritu_777 in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 08-06-2009, 01:26 AM
  3. Cheated by your lady love? Know why By eagle76
    By rocky1976 in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 30-10-2008, 08:11 AM
  4. Gal always cheated
    By anil2007 in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 29-10-2007, 11:12 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •