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Thread: He's not paying attention after sex

  1. #1
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    Default He's not paying attention after sex

    Hi
    I m in a big mess. I have a bf we both r in long distance relatnshp n things r nt working well between us.Recently i have fallen for one of my friend who is also office colleague.he also has a gf bt his relatnshp is not going gud as well.we were gud friends but things later changed n after sharing our mutual concerns we developed feelings for each other.it has been 6mnths n we hv become physical too.but after having sex i see a change in him like he is not dat interested to talk like before and all.I find as if m connected more to him n he always stays bsy.He is asking me for commitment n to take things futher bt m afraid of society n what ppl will say.so of late he has also stopped anythng to me.bt whenever i try to meet him in office n he is bsy i feel vry bad n hurt.i dnt knw hw to come out of mess.my bf with whom m having trouble atleast takes care of me after sex.but this friend of mine is somewhat emotion less..once he is done with sex he dnt feel like meeting me or talking to me n says he is super bsy in office.i feel vry hurt as a gal n sometimes used.plz sujjest what to do.ehy did i cross my line? This frnd of mine is not so gud luking n so is his gf bt m a gud luking gal.he often says hw a gal like me luvs him.he calls ne bt he stays always bsy..in the earlier days of relatnshp he used to find out time for me bt now i feel avoided.my bf is unaware of all dis n i dbt he must hv slept wth some other gal as well.m in a emorional mess plz suggest what to do..this frnd is otherwise a gud person bt i dnt see d caring attitude in him.he is bit selfish what i find and wants his work first den he will gv time to me.i cry sometimes of y i slept with him n all.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hmm....well, what's done is done, I suppose although you have opened yourself out to all this confusion and hurt because you wanted to have it all without really having a clear aim in view. This guy is asking for a committment which you will not give but you still want him to be around an care for you...well, if there he feels that its not a long term committment, then, maybe his behaviour is natural (?)
    You really have to make up your mind about what and who you really want. Don't go on a guilt trip but see what's good for you. Stop tying yourself in knots, but get yoir life straightened out, without clinging on to people, specially when you are not willing to commit.

  3. #3
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    Stop cheating on your real BF and cut off all connections with this 2nd guy. You have already labelled yourself as what they call the girls who do what you did.

  4. #4
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    1. You are indeed being used.
    2. Beauty and Brain is a RARE combination.
    3. You are cheating on your BF because you need sex and wrong is Always exciting.
    4. You should dump both men because you are obviously too disrespectful to ur bf and vice versa with ur sex buddy.

    Never mentioned you age but keep two things in mind.

    1. There are things beyond sex.
    2. Long distance relationship never works.

    G'day

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    You need to understand that after a certain period of "Attention", it usually is "Stand at Ease"

    Schedule your priorities. Do not prioritize your schedule. Sleeping with people is just semantics. I know people who have slept with a Great dane and have no regrets in life. As long as you objectively check those boxes in your list of priorities, you will come out a winner.

    Good night. Sleep tight.

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    I believe all that is happening is giving an insight that how much your new bf loves... you......
    Love take time to develop and is long lasting... which is missing in your relationship.....
    For now stop thinking everthing and time to think about yourself......
    Do not pursue him... if he really loves you he will come for you...
    dnt be toy for him.....

  7. #7
    DESTINY STILL ARRIVES! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    So let me get this straight.... you cheated on your long distance bf with a guy who cheated on his own gf and your feelings are hurt because the guy you cheated with is not paying attention ?......Yeah Karma is a B!tch...
    I Hope They Remember You...



  8. #8
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adirocksit View Post
    So let me get this straight.... you cheated on your long distance bf with a guy who cheated on his own gf and your feelings are hurt because the guy you cheated with is not paying attention ?......Yeah Karma is a B!tch...
    The first time I read it, I read it like this :
    He is not paying after sex..
    My Personality depends on who I am.My Attitude depends on who you are.
    a_decent_1™ ©®

  9. #9
    DESTINY STILL ARRIVES! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a_decent_1 View Post


    The first time I read it, I read it like this :
    He is not paying after sex..
    ............
    I Hope They Remember You...



  10. #10
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    You need to come to terms with the fact that this not-so-good-looking colleague of yours, with a not-so-good-looking girlfriend, caught you in a weak moment; and is not going give everything away for you just because you are good-looking.

    It's a little strange that you care more about the "attention" you need and less about your boyfriend's feelings or the overall morality of the situation. You just assume that your bf is having an active sex-life, but that still doesn't justify your unfaithfulness.

    From your query, it doesn't seem you want much from the 2nd relationship either, besides meaningless sex, then why do you want to complicate the situation by involving care and feelings? "Selfish" your colleague may be, but, when you-both are cheating on your partners, how is he any different from you? At least he knows what's in for him in this relationship and cares less what's in for you.

    If you are having problems in your current relationship, incl. issues like distance and scant sex-life, then sort 'em out or end it with your bf before diving into a new relationship.

    Good luck.

  11. #11
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    I am confused who is using whom? from your query, it seems to me that you are using the guys and not the other way...

  12. #12
    SB Wizard Captain guy pearce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adirocksit View Post
    So let me get this straight.... you cheated on your long distance bf with a guy who cheated on his own gf and your feelings are hurt because the guy you cheated with is not paying attention ?......Yeah Karma is a B!tch...
    sums it nicely .....

    @thread: anyways, dont worry....the bf too must be sleeping with multiple galz...im pretty sure-salient feature of long distance relationship. good luck.

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    Well, You sure have done some mess...
    Just to clear out ... ask your friend to come n talk to you over the weekend...

    Discuss all what you are discussing here :::

    He might be workaholic and might be busy these days at work.

    Second if you dont want to carry on with your boyfriend thn dont assume that he might be sleeping with others and cheat him.
    You better finish that chapter or with your friend or with both (if you can) and move on n get a better one.

    I think you sit alone n first figure out what you want in life ?

    Your friend might have used you, Love is not anymore the love it used to be, SAD!!!

  14. #14
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    ohhhhh.....................

  15. #15
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    Well 1) you cheated on your boy friend and 2) you just assumed that your boy friend must have slept with another woman 3) you and this friend of yours only wanted sex 4) you being a girl is now asking for a commitment from your sex buddy and 5) you knew that he is also in a relationship. So concluding all the 5 points you are hurt because you were used and you used him as well and you are confused. It is better that you stay away from your sex buddy.

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