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Thread: I don't want to cheat... But I might soon !

  1. #1
    @^@
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    Exclamation I don't want to cheat... But I might soon !

    Hello everyone,

    I am in a distance relationship with a gal from past 7 years now. We met in our school days.

    After that, we were separated and not in touch for 6 months and then I somehow managed to talk to her through phone.

    Since then from last 6 years, we talk through phone, chat, sometimes through video calling. It was not a continuous chain of communication after that, there were times when we didn't talk for months because of several different reasons.

    She is the most beautiful gal I've ever seen, she is always honest with me, I love her voice and smile. I love her so very much. She is my first love and I am not sure whether I can ever love somebody else like this or not. I am pretty sure, she loves me even more.

    But before few months, She confessed that she has kissed few guys and had sex too.

    I was shattered quite honestly ! There was a point when I decided to leave her. But that thought went away in a second.

    Now, she is feeling so bad about it. I tried to console her that it happens in this age.

    It hurts a little but there's nothing much we can do about it now. Damage is done.

    Now, the problem is... I have never been in a physical relationship with anyone till now. As I recall, Last person I kissed was her.

    I am not gonna brag here... but over the past few years, I don't know how to put it across but many gals were attracted to me. I put down their offer gently stating I love someone else.

    There were instances or chances that If I showed some interest or pushed the envelope little further, I might have ended up in losing my virginity.

    Honestly, I was never ever attracted to anyone but her. But when she confessed about her past, my mindset was changed.

    Almost suddenly, It felt like... If I sleep with someone today, it will be all EVEN between us. I am sure, She will not mind it. Not bcoz she doesn't love me but bcoz she will not be in a better position to qstn me.

    This step of stupidity can't be defined as a love. Come on, she is my love. I am not gonna take revenge or anything.

    Deep down, Maybe... I want to make her feel how am I going through with the thought of her being kissed or loved by someone else. It not about just being physical with someone, its much more than that.

    In future, she will never make any mistakes like this. I am 100% sure. After all, I am her first love too. And like I said earlier, She loves me more than I love her.

    (Reader's mind voice) - "Chahta kya tu humse ab"

    What should I do about it ? I think I know, "Just forget all these things and enjoy your life with her"

    I just want someone to say this to me.

    I request not to judge us but to guide what can be done.

    Thanks a ton ! :-)

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! I actually think its nice as to how you've actually resolved this on your own. Yes, you're on the right track. 'Revenge' here, is hardly going to resolve anything, so just put this information behind you and go ahead with a nice relationship with her. Sometimes things happen- and if we can just let it be, they resolve themselves, right?
    The only thing is that when you reach a resolution- and you are already almost there- then, let all the negativity go....

  3. #3
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    You are being a child or maybe you really are. No one will recommend you continuing with this damsel.
    You never know what you can become ..

  4. #4
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Man.... she cheated u when she was in a relationship with "you". No way she deserves forgiveness. if her sexual encounters were before she met u then it wud hv been a different story. Also mistake happens once. But u told she kissed n had sex too with guys. What the hell!!! Habitual hai kya ????
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  5. #5
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    Lets do one exercise to clear this things up... and i need you to do it and post it here........

    "Tell her that you want to confess something to her just like she did..... tell her that you also have done sex with two of your female freinds....
    and it happend accidently.... and tell her that after all this you still love her....... and you are feeling guilty and tell her that you will be faithfull to her in future"

    (Note: as you told that you are virgin..i will assume that you are very loyal to her........ i want you to fake her with this... and tell her with absolute conviction that she believes)

    Please post her reply here...... then i will tell you what you should do........

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by @^@ View Post
    Hello everyone,

    I am in a distance relationship with a gal from past 7 years now. We met in our school days.

    After that, we were separated and not in touch for 6 months and then I somehow managed to talk to her through phone.

    Since then from last 6 years, we talk through phone, chat, sometimes through video calling. It was not a continuous chain of communication after that, there were times when we didn't talk for months because of several different reasons.

    She is the most beautiful gal I've ever seen, she is always honest with me, I love her voice and smile. I love her so very much. She is my first love and I am not sure whether I can ever love somebody else like this or not. I am pretty sure, she loves me even more.

    But before few months, She confessed that she has kissed few guys and had sex too.

    I was shattered quite honestly ! There was a point when I decided to leave her. But that thought went away in a second.

    Now, she is feeling so bad about it. I tried to console her that it happens in this age.

    It hurts a little but there's nothing much we can do about it now. Damage is done.

    Now, the problem is... I have never been in a physical relationship with anyone till now. As I recall, Last person I kissed was her.

    I am not gonna brag here... but over the past few years, I don't know how to put it across but many gals were attracted to me. I put down their offer gently stating I love someone else.

    There were instances or chances that If I showed some interest or pushed the envelope little further, I might have ended up in losing my virginity.

    Honestly, I was never ever attracted to anyone but her. But when she confessed about her past, my mindset was changed.

    Almost suddenly, It felt like... If I sleep with someone today, it will be all EVEN between us. I am sure, She will not mind it. Not bcoz she doesn't love me but bcoz she will not be in a better position to qstn me.

    This step of stupidity can't be defined as a love. Come on, she is my love. I am not gonna take revenge or anything.

    Deep down, Maybe... I want to make her feel how am I going through with the thought of her being kissed or loved by someone else. It not about just being physical with someone, its much more than that.

    In future, she will never make any mistakes like this. I am 100% sure. After all, I am her first love too. And like I said earlier, She loves me more than I love her.

    (Reader's mind voice) - "Chahta kya tu humse ab"

    What should I do about it ? I think I know, "Just forget all these things and enjoy your life with her"

    I just want someone to say this to me.

    I request not to judge us but to guide what can be done.

    Thanks a ton ! :-)
    Just forget all these things and enjoy your life with her

  7. #7
    Young Gun
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    Prabhendu.... (with due respect)
    it is ok to fogive someone.... but aisa bhi ho sakta hai ki she is confessing to him because she knows that chahee kuch bhi ho he will not leave her.......
    so why dnt we check her by turning the table once........

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neha1 View Post
    Man.... she cheated u when she was in a relationship with "you". No way she deserves forgiveness. if her sexual encounters were before she met u then it wud hv been a different story. Also mistake happens once. But u told she kissed n had sex too with guys. What the hell!!! Habitual hai kya ????
    I agree totally with what Neha1 has said. Mistake happens ONCE and you chastise yourself never to repeat it again. You have kept your part of the bargain, she certainly has not. Yes she is being honest, I admire that, but still you cannot keep falling in the same ditch again & again. That shows you actually want to fall in the hole deliberately & not accidentally. So, hats off to you, you still think, you can say let bygones be bygones, go ahead. However, if I were in your place, I would rethink this over a 1000 times. Good luck

  9. #9
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    Hey Buddy! this is the first time I am commenting on this forum. You are where I was about 5 years back. Same scenario as urs. long distance, same amount of time in a relationship as you. I thought the same as u did. And thought it happens, insaan kabhi kabhi fisal jaata hai. and I ended up telling her that too that it happens galti ho gayi and I am willing to look beyond and move ahead and told her not to worry and that things havent changed and they are still the same. In fact, i went to the extent of emailing the guy too and telling him the same. And very soon I realized, that the girl took advantage of the fact that she has once been forgiven and she can take advantage of it and I am just a kachre ka dabba who can be cheated upon time and again. I would suggest to stand up for urself. Not talk to her for a really long time . I know its hard, almost impossible. but today, 5 years down the line, I am the one heartbroken and so I am here suggesting you to do what's right for you and for once disregard her completely. you will have to take this step. If a year or two down the line she still shows genuine interest and comes back to you pleading and stuff, then its a different thing but for now u need to let her go away from your life. tell her that u need a break and probably u wanna end it. in a shorter frame of time, she will make u feel that u r the only one out there and the only one she loves, but if she feels the same a year or 2 down the line even after when u have stopped all ur communications with her and she still ends up emailing u to ask if u r still available , then probably she is worth it. But for now, stand up for urself.

  10. #10
    Young Gun ickon2004's Avatar
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    Man she confessed before u , now nothing is hidden , forget her past , stay happily with her , man go for it , true love is very rare in this world which u r getting , consider urself lucky , even if u marry any stranger u cant guarantee of her virginity man , so forget that stupid things , if u love her truly and if she loves u truly go with her , enjoy ur life with her . dont bring wrong and negative thoughts to ur mind about her , keep that in mind . tc

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimer View Post
    Hey Buddy! this is the first time I am commenting on this forum. You are where I was about 5 years back. Same scenario as urs. long distance, same amount of time in a relationship as you. I thought the same as u did. And thought it happens, insaan kabhi kabhi fisal jaata hai. and I ended up telling her that too that it happens galti ho gayi and I am willing to look beyond and move ahead and told her not to worry and that things havent changed and they are still the same. In fact, i went to the extent of emailing the guy too and telling him the same. And very soon I realized, that the girl took advantage of the fact that she has once been forgiven and she can take advantage of it and I am just a kachre ka dabba who can be cheated upon time and again. I would suggest to stand up for urself. Not talk to her for a really long time . I know its hard, almost impossible. but today, 5 years down the line, I am the one heartbroken and so I am here suggesting you to do what's right for you and for once disregard her completely. you will have to take this step. If a year or two down the line she still shows genuine interest and comes back to you pleading and stuff, then its a different thing but for now u need to let her go away from your life. tell her that u need a break and probably u wanna end it. in a shorter frame of time, she will make u feel that u r the only one out there and the only one she loves, but if she feels the same a year or 2 down the line even after when u have stopped all ur communications with her and she still ends up emailing u to ask if u r still available , then probably she is worth it. But for now, stand up for urself.

    thank u firsttimer. i am getting through exactly what u had gone through about 5 yrs back..i want to know what exactly had happened can u plz tell me i'll be very grateful to u...

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by prabhendu View Post
    Just forget all these things and enjoy your life with her
    She can teach you few things in bed man... She is experienced so u will also enjoy more.

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