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Thread: Can loyalty sustain a marriage?

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    Default Can loyalty sustain a marriage?

    Hello mam!!!
    I would like to know, if a person after marriage is still in love with his/her ex, but is loyal to their respective marriage partners. Will that marriage survive? I'm saying that they don't love their spouse but they are loyal to them. Will this kind of loveless marriage be successful. Is it ok to stay in a marriage were a person knows that their respective partner don't love them but, they are loyal to them? Is it that in this kind of marriage, their respective partners should not expect any love from their spouses for the rest of their lives? Please, I would like to hear from you mam.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, 'rest of the life' is a long, long time, my dear. Things change so much and in such a manner over time that you can't imagine at the moment. So, if you want to give the marriage a chance and give it all you have got- love (to whatever degree), companionship, care, concern, then yes, it can survive.
    Give love also a chance....exes have a way of fading away in the light of reality and life!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello mam!!!
    I would like to know, if a person after marriage is still in love with his/her ex, but is loyal to their respective marriage partners. Will that marriage survive? I'm saying that they don't love their spouse but they are loyal to them. Will this kind of loveless marriage be successful. Is it ok to stay in a marriage were a person knows that their respective partner don't love them but, they are loyal to them? Is it that in this kind of marriage, their respective partners should not expect any love from their spouses for the rest of their lives? Please, I would like to hear from you mam.
    Dear friend,
    Such a marriage would never work and "must" end as soon as possible.

    A marriage cannot survive on mere compromises. There needs to be a binding force, which is love.
    Without love, you will be miserable. Add to that the fact that you're in love with someone else. I would put that down as "cheating". It may not be physical, but you don't just cheat physically. You need to share a lot more than your bodies, when you're married to someone.

    Live long and prosper.
    G'day

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello mam!!!
    I would like to know, if a person after marriage is still in love with his/her ex, but is loyal to their respective marriage partners. Will that marriage survive? I'm saying that they don't love their spouse but they are loyal to them. Will this kind of loveless marriage be successful. Is it ok to stay in a marriage were a person knows that their respective partner don't love them but, they are loyal to them? Is it that in this kind of marriage, their respective partners should not expect any love from their spouses for the rest of their lives? Please, I would like to hear from you mam.
    unfortunately most of the arranged marriages are based on this...you love someone else but because of nonsense bullshit marry someone else...
    you can't help it...concept of love is an alien concept in our society...

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    loyalty is a part of marriage along with love and lot many things.es only loyalty without love can sustain a marriage but it will be mechanical. the wife goes doing about her duties,the husband goes around doing his and there ends the matter.sex also in such cases is mechanical. it can sustain a marriage but thres no life in it.

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by decent_is_back View Post
    Dear friend,
    Such a marriage would never work and "must" end as soon as possible
    I would like to say that a lot of marriages in India have survived all the time where there was no love but loyalty. So, it has worked. This had a lot more to do with the fact that women did not have opportunities in the society.

    So will it survive? yes
    Would you call these successful marriages? Dont know
    Should it survive? No

    if its going to ruin the spouse's life, as in they'll have nowhere to go if divorced, then further thinking is required. if they do have other opportunities/ life, then its better for such a marriage to culminate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rv102938 View Post
    I would like to say that a lot of marriages in India have survived all the time where there was no love but loyalty. So, it has worked. This had a lot more to do with the fact that women did not have opportunities in the society.

    So will it survive? yes
    Would you call these successful marriages? Dont know
    Should it survive? No

    if its going to ruin the spouse's life, as in they'll have nowhere to go if divorced, then further thinking is required. if they do have other opportunities/ life, then its better for such a marriage to culminate.
    I said "Such a marriage would never work".
    In other words, you may be together for a lifetime but you would never be happy. There will be constant fights, and no motivation to return back home after hours of work.

    I hope that clarifies what I meant.

    G'day

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    Yes it can be made to survive, what cant be cured must be endured.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    yes it can. I have seen numerous couples who are not in love but are loyal n passing their days happily. one of my friend's parents who hardly talk to each other but are together for past 30 years. Not a big deal. Some have even celebrated their golden or silver jubilees together.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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    If I look at people who are married for a decade or longer, I find -
    Marriages(love or arranged) eventually turn into 'friends with benefits' kinda deal. The lovey dovey feeling fades away, if it was there. If both the partners are willing, the marriage can survive for lifetime. The bollywood style love isn't real and doesn't last long, what lasts long is affection, care and the will to make it work by being good humans.

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    With due respect,
    One needs to "be in love" to "understand love" and "love marriage".


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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello mam!!!
    I would like to know, if a person after marriage is still in love with his/her ex, but is loyal to their respective marriage partners. Will that marriage survive? I'm saying that they don't love their spouse but they are loyal to them. Will this kind of loveless marriage be successful. Is it ok to stay in a marriage were a person knows that their respective partner don't love them but, they are loyal to them? Is it that in this kind of marriage, their respective partners should not expect any love from their spouses for the rest of their lives? Please, I would like to hear from you mam.
    Buddy none except God can tell anyone exactly how long any person's life will last on earth but marriage is in the hands of the couple.So yes if loyalty is there and the couple is willing to accept the lack of love in the marriage and work out other aspects of that marriage, then yes the marriage can last as long as they live.

    But take it from me an Eternal Bachelor that marriage is just another cage with no doors or windows for us Men.
    Last edited by deadmanwalking9876; 07-06-2015 at 06:06 PM.

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    I am very much sure you are talking about yourself. Anyways, here is your answer:
    A big NO. Such marriages cannot survive. What do you think, you can fake love in front of your husband/ wife. Are you kidding me. He/ she will soon figure it out and it will create problems.
    Now coming to the real problem, if you are still in love with your ex why don't you marry him/ her? Why do you want to marry someone else? I am sure you must be having pressure from your family. Just understand one thing dear, we are humans and not machines. We have got emotions and they don't have an ON/ OFF switch. You will obviously develop a habit of living without your ex, it is a human tendency but KYA IS DIN K LIYE PYAR KIA THA?

    Finally, I would suggest you to think again, its your life and you have to live it, your parents won't live it for you.

    Best of luck..

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