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Thread: Why should we have kids?

  1. #1
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    Default Why should we have kids?

    Hello All,

    The title might surprise most of you. but i very often think why should i have kids/kid..
    I recently got married, me nor my husband are very keen in having kids in coming years.

    Reason being--
    Stressful jobs+ no time for Self+ kids are lot of work+ Need lots of financial backup+ hard to manage if in a nuclear family+ hard to find child care+ kids need so many fancy stuff as they grow up...

    And finally when they grow up, they either go to different cities or countries for job, and start life of their own. A couple gives his time to kid in their prime, and then they are left alone when they grow old...

    So i think what is the use??

    Do people do it..just because we have been programmed to do so?? or evrybody does it ...or couples fear they would be left alone( which they anyhow will be)- am not saying all kids abandon their kids, but they have reasons to stay away.

    Already life is hard, why to make it hard bu adding such huge responsibility...

    Right??

    Any thoughts on this?? is my thinking wrong?? (Every girl wants to be a mom, why such thoughts arise in me?? is something wrong with me...??

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! Well, there's nothing wrong in taking a joint decision to not have children- provided both partners in the marriage want it that way. People have children for various reasons and none of those reasons are wrong....just as your decision is not wrong. Many couple are opting to be without kids.
    It's really, completely a decision that the concerned couple has to take.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello All,

    The title might surprise most of you. but i very often think why should i have kids/kid..
    I recently got married, me nor my husband are very keen in having kids in coming years.

    Reason being--
    Stressful jobs+ no time for Self+ kids are lot of work+ Need lots of financial backup+ hard to manage if in a nuclear family+ hard to find child care+ kids need so many fancy stuff as they grow up...

    And finally when they grow up, they either go to different cities or countries for job, and start life of their own. A couple gives his time to kid in their prime, and then they are left alone when they grow old...

    So i think what is the use??

    Do people do it..just because we have been programmed to do so?? or evrybody does it ...or couples fear they would be left alone( which they anyhow will be)- am not saying all kids abandon their kids, but they have reasons to stay away.

    Already life is hard, why to make it hard bu adding such huge responsibility...

    Right??

    Any thoughts on this?? is my thinking wrong?? (Every girl wants to be a mom, why such thoughts arise in me?? is something wrong with me...??
    you are right,,every girl wants to be a mum. but yr question "is anything wrong with me?' i cant say for sure. but yeah,, there are couples who do not want a child for the reasons you have mentioned,,and also for one more reason that the female body undergoes a change. if both you partners have decided not to add to the population growth then,,theres nothing wrong with it.

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    I have two links for you. Go thru them, and remember its your life and so your decision - whether to have kids or not.
    http://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-peo...ant-children-1

    and

    http://www.quora.com/Why-should-one-have-children

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    If you dont want them, dont have them, simple as that. This is 21st century.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    I like this post in that you are challenging the status quo. No need to do something just because your parents think so or the society wants it.

    But before you make a decision, take all factors into consideration. Some being -
    1) You talk about the struggles. These are not so bad as you have written. But there are good things as well. Teaching a new human through various stages and enjoying each stage.
    2) You need to make a decision for now and also 10-15 years down the line. Remember as you age, it becomes more and more difficult to be a mother and there are also health risks
    3) Note that few years from now as your body ages, your jobs wont be as stressful and you'll have more time for yourself and other things. You may realize a void and a need for kids but the time may have gone. Think about it before you decide.
    4) Minor issue: Think about relatives expectations. Also how people will look at you. Typical way of thinking in India is there is a problem with you or your husband, and they will start advising before you ask.

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    DESTINY STILL ARRIVES! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    My question to you is.....why get married?....what is the use?..
    I Hope They Remember You...



  8. #8
    SB Guru Major ace of base's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adirocksit View Post
    my question to you is.....why get married?....what is the use?..
    good question sir. In hindi its called "khujli" sir

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    I am wondering what if your Parents had same thought....

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    Hi

    Having kids or not having kids..if its useful or of no use to have kids...Able to take on the responsibility of kids or not...its a couple's choice and should be a joint decision.

    If at this point in life you both feel this way then I don't think opinion of anyone else, be it your family your friends or this forum should hold any meaning....You are very clear in your thinking and what you want then why do you need a validation from total strangers what they think of you or if they think something is wrong with you..



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    you mentioned you are recently married..so I guess you must be around 25 -28 years old...so such thoughts are normal at your phase in life.. you are recently married,have a good hubby..want to enjoy life...do good job ..may be get promotions in job,salary increments,world tour or have good vacations..these must be priority things in your life as of now & it is normal as well..
    but when you start approaching 30 years.. 3-4 years of your married life then automatically you will start thinking about kids..

    So as of now, do not worry..keep life going on..Do not think or plan much & let life & time take their course

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    Quote Originally Posted by adirocksit View Post
    My question to you is.....why get married?....what is the use?..
    ..... marriage is for children only????? nd d couples who dnt hav kids...wat bout dem? deir marriage is null? nd in foreign nations many of d people hav kids widout marriage.... marriage is jst a beautuful celebrashn of luv.....having kids or nt is sumthing diff

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    DESTINY STILL ARRIVES! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.confusion View Post
    ..... marriage is for children only????? nd d couples who dnt hav kids...wat bout dem? deir marriage is null? nd in foreign nations many of d people hav kids widout marriage.... marriage is jst a beautuful celebrashn of luv.....having kids or nt is sumthing diff
    Explain to me how were you born.......you weren't born because of beautiful gorgeous spectacular lovely celebration of love......I never say have kids immediately......but eventually you'll get old.....not old....but old and sick of each other.....but at least you'll have kids to love...celebration of love is not forever....its till honeymoon....or if you're lucky...2nd honeymoon.......and kids before marriage is also a great idea....adopting kids is also a good idea.....but you can only avoid kids for so long.......or you could just adopt an 18 yr old son and send him to work directly.....
    I Hope They Remember You...



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