Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 23

Thread: My husband beats me and wants me to convert

  1. #1
    Unregistered
    Guest

    Unhappy My husband beats me and wants me to convert

    hi mam,
    I am Roshni. I live in Kuala lumpur Malaysia and married a local guy named Ahmad against the wishes of my family.
    my father is a bank officer and he broke all ties with me after my inter caste marriage.
    my husband was really nice to me during our courtship and dating period. he even said he respected all religions and respect of women mattered the most in his family.
    but after marriage I saw the women are not allowed to go out of home and are asked to cover their face and body all the time.

    now he beats me regularly and wants me to convert to islam. his mother supports him and they don't allow me to work saying it is against their rules.
    I feel scared. I think I made a big mistake. when I try to talk he says he targeted me by planning the whole thing and says he will marry more hindu girls from my family and friends too. and that I should always obey him like a servant.
    I cannot go back to my family and I donot want to convert my religion.
    what should I do. I feel depressed and alone and everyone at his home acts as if it is entertaining to them.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,027
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Hmm....you know, you CAN go back! This was a mistake- not because of the religious differences, but because of the way the man is treating you and being completely disrespectful about you and your family.
    Its totally not worth it to continue in this manner. You are scared and unhappy, so think of options where you may start afresh- in a new life and job and so reach out to your family and friends. You'll find a way....

  3. #3
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    35,244
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi mam,
    I am Roshni. I live in Kuala lumpur Malaysia and married a local guy named Ahmad against the wishes of my family.
    my father is a bank officer and he broke all ties with me after my inter caste marriage.
    my husband was really nice to me during our courtship and dating period. he even said he respected all religions and respect of women mattered the most in his family.
    but after marriage I saw the women are not allowed to go out of home and are asked to cover their face and body all the time.

    now he beats me regularly and wants me to convert to islam. his mother supports him and they don't allow me to work saying it is against their rules.
    I feel scared. I think I made a big mistake. when I try to talk he says he targeted me by planning the whole thing and says he will marry more hindu girls from my family and friends too. and that I should always obey him like a servant.
    I cannot go back to my family and I donot want to convert my religion.
    what should I do. I feel depressed and alone and everyone at his home acts as if it is entertaining to them.
    It all depends on how much time has passed. If you think its not too late, you can still come back to your family. But whatever you do, do not give in to your husband's whims....its unfortunate that such douchebags still exist in the world. Take help of some friends and get away from this hell and find a job and be independent financially. After that you can see how things work out and what is needed to do. All the best!
    The problem with internet quotes is that you can't trust their authenticity.
    - Abraham Lincoln


  4. #4
    New Born
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    194
    Rep Power
    60

    Default

    Right now start looking for some NGO, some help group which can guide you to come out of this marriage. With their help, get in touch with police and lawyers.

    And while you find these help, look at your hubby right in his eyes for a moment more than usual, not with fear or pity, but with cold n composed eyes, and tell him to stop the physical abuse now.

  5. #5
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Dev bhumi Himachal
    Posts
    8,985
    Rep Power
    88

    Default

    U don't deserve brutality at all.... no matter u did love or arrange marriage. .... Approch some NGO or police station. if u are well educated leave these bunch of assholes and move out of tht house.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  6. #6
    SB Guru Major ace of base's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    hyd
    Posts
    6,476
    Rep Power
    35

    Default

    Hello roshni,,
    this is history repeating itself. I had helped a friend of mine ,,who was in the same situation as you are. The similarities are no wearing jeans and tops,no wearing half sleeves,no steping out of the house,no lunch,movies or dinner,no mobile,no internet, have to wear burkha all the time,no taking to any male member irrespective of age and no working .after bearing this for some time she decided to leave him and she had a kid too.she walked out of the house without the kid. The story became more messy as she had to seek police help to have a divorce. The police story,the lawyers and everything she had to do it alone. The laws in india for muslims are all in the favour of males.in the meantime he married again,that girl committed suicide and the case is still going on. After a year and half after getting the divorce she went back to him cos she felt that she cant live with out the kid.now her life is even more messier then before.
    Your story is very much similar but with the experience i have in dealing with such a case makes me tell you that
    1) learn all the about laws in your country regarding inter-cast marriages.you should know of a few things in your favour otherwise everybody you meet including the lawyers will take you for a ride.
    2) be cautious about talking to your friends over mobile especially male friends,as calls records are often taken out.this evidence can be used against you for character assanination.keep your correspondence through mails in case required.
    3) you beg, plead or do anything you want but reconcile with your parents or sibling or any of your relatives. You have to have atleast a family member on your side if you try to walk out .
    4.do not have a baby now incase you dont have already.
    His intensions are very much clear now because you have mentioned that he will marry more of your friends.so pretty soon you may have to walk out of the marriage but before you do,,take all these precautions.also when you approach a ngo ,the first thing they do is councelling to save the marriage.it will be of no use but still keep a track of a ngo headed by a female,who might understand your plight.
    I do not know where you parents are at present,but if you can work and be financially stable for emergencies,it will save a lot of headache. This small mistake of marrying him will spoil your whole life.so brace up for the uncertanities and keep the faith.

  7. #7
    SB MahaGuru Colonel dsocialdoctor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Kashmir 370
    Posts
    17,934
    Rep Power
    74

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi mam,
    I am Roshni. I live in Kuala lumpur Malaysia and married a local guy named Ahmad against the wishes of my family.
    my father is a bank officer and he broke all ties with me after my inter caste marriage.
    my husband was really nice to me during our courtship and dating period. he even said he respected all religions and respect of women mattered the most in his family.
    but after marriage I saw the women are not allowed to go out of home and are asked to cover their face and body all the time.

    now he beats me regularly and wants me to convert to islam. his mother supports him and they don't allow me to work saying it is against their rules.
    I feel scared. I think I made a big mistake. when I try to talk he says he targeted me by planning the whole thing and says he will marry more hindu girls from my family and friends too. and that I should always obey him like a servant.
    I cannot go back to my family and I donot want to convert my religion.
    what should I do. I feel depressed and alone and everyone at his home acts as if it is entertaining to them.
    you should not have married muslim in first place. thats Islamic life's parcel, you have opted.

    and they say "Love jihad" kya hota hai ......

    share your phone number or email ID to confirm your identity, we will help you to start your new life through NGO who helped all "victims of Islamic love jihad"

    dont convert, dont worry. Start fresh life !!

    Morale - Never marry a muslim.
    If you think any candle march will affect "Islamic Terrorism", you are fooling yourself, Kill them or be ready for next attack !!

  8. #8
    ! Badass ! Lieutenant-Colonel ! Stud !'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Somewhere b/w Daru ka Theka and Gym
    Posts
    8,916
    Rep Power
    76

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi mam,
    I am Roshni. I live in Kuala lumpur Malaysia and married a local guy named Ahmad against the wishes of my family.
    my father is a bank officer and he broke all ties with me after my inter caste marriage.
    my husband was really nice to me during our courtship and dating period. he even said he respected all religions and respect of women mattered the most in his family.
    but after marriage I saw the women are not allowed to go out of home and are asked to cover their face and body all the time.

    now he beats me regularly and wants me to convert to islam. his mother supports him and they don't allow me to work saying it is against their rules.
    I feel scared. I think I made a big mistake. when I try to talk he says he targeted me by planning the whole thing and says he will marry more hindu girls from my family and friends too. and that I should always obey him like a servant.
    I cannot go back to my family and I donot want to convert my religion.
    what should I do. I feel depressed and alone and everyone at his home acts as if it is entertaining to them.
    (A)Why don't you want to convert and adhere to their rules/lifestyle/culture when you married to a muslim guy ? It is not acceptable when you say you didn't know as i believe you live on the same planet as we do.Adjust with him.

    (B)In case if you won't ; gather some evidences ( video/pics) etc and approach a nearby police station.If you delay then you will be start reproducing kids and will settle down being their"ammi jaan" for life time.

    I personally suggest to compromise and choose option A
    आज का ज्ञान ........ सब चूतिये हैं !

  9. #9
    SB Guru Lieutenant-Colonel
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    8,007
    Rep Power
    86

    Default

    Hi

    Is it not that you have to convert and accept Islam before marrying a Muslim. There are restrictions to whom a Muslim man can marry. Muslim men are forbidden from marrying polytheist women. A polytheist woman would have to convert to Islam if she would want to get married to a Muslim man, according to Islamic principals. So how come you are not converted already? Is your marriage valid?

    Freedom of religion is enshrined in the Malaysian Constitution. First, Article 11 provides that every person has the right to profess and to practice his or her religion and (subject to applicable laws restricting the propagation of other religions to Muslims) to propagate it. Second, the Constitution also provides that Islam is the religion of the country but other religions may be practised in peace and harmony .

    If all women in his family cover their head and face at all times then its no surprise that he expects you - his wife to do the same.

    Approach the Indian consulate for help if you really want to get out of the situation without any delay..No matter what no one has the right to abuse you physically or
    emotionally.


  10. #10
    New Born
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    69
    Rep Power
    40

    Default

    How come you did not convert before marrying? Muslim men are not allowed to marry Hindus! so basically if he has married you without conversion its even against his religion. You can take the help of law and get out of the situation but if it does not goes well you will be in more trouble.
    The other way out can be to study his religion i.e. Islam yourself. Challenge him to convince you with words and argument not abusively if he is such a Islamist. No religion can tell to beat the wife so does the Islam. You can get evidences from life of Prophet Muhammad of how he acted with his wives (from internet) and bring him shame in his own context. If he does not allow you to go out of the house ask him for evidence from Quran and life of Prophet for this act. If he does not allow you to work ask him why wife of prophet can be a business woman (hence working woman) and I cannot.
    Even if you don't convert and study comparative religion or even listen to talks of scholars like Zakir Naik you will have enough evidences that what he is doing or following is not Islam and you can either argue out of the situation and also let him think of his acts. Studying deep is the key here.

  11. #11
    DESTINY STILL ARRIVES! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    The Universe
    Posts
    29,969
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Your husband is pretty much ISIS......you should run away girl....run as fast as possible.....you can go back....you can always go back.....
    I Hope They Remember You...



  12. #12
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,512
    Rep Power
    51

    Default

    See a lawyer, get a divorce. I hope this is not a fake query by those fake posters who keep on doing all this religion stuff here.
    You never know what you can become ..

  13. #13
    SB Addict
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    542
    Rep Power
    44

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi mam,
    I am Roshni. I live in Kuala lumpur Malaysia and married a local guy named Ahmad against the wishes of my family.
    my father is a bank officer and he broke all ties with me after my inter caste marriage.
    my husband was really nice to me during our courtship and dating period. he even said he respected all religions and respect of women mattered the most in his family.
    but after marriage I saw the women are not allowed to go out of home and are asked to cover their face and body all the time.

    now he beats me regularly and wants me to convert to islam. his mother supports him and they don't allow me to work saying it is against their rules.
    I feel scared. I think I made a big mistake. when I try to talk he says he targeted me by planning the whole thing and says he will marry more hindu girls from my family and friends too. and that I should always obey him like a servant.
    I cannot go back to my family and I donot want to convert my religion.
    what should I do. I feel depressed and alone and everyone at his home acts as if it is entertaining to them.
    this is a shit situation...
    if possible take help of law and try to get a divorce

  14. #14
    New Born
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    2
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    1st of all by forcing converting the religion is nt allow i think so in any religion......and about Islam if u have faith and believe in it then u can convert Islam, by forcing is nt allow. if ur husband and his family try to doing sumthing its wrong....... tr to explain ur husband and solve problem if u cnt then u can go back home look for parents you will remain there child if u will go back for a while they will show up little anger but its there rights but they will accept you and forgive u

  15. #15
    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    7,033
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I cannot go back to my family and I donot want to convert my religion.
    what should I do.
    How possibly could you have gotten married when according to their faith they can only marry Abrahamic followers? This means that you are not legally married, right? First things first and that is your safety. You need to get out of this relationship no matter what. Surely there must be someone in your family who still feels a soft spot for you. Be brave and contact them, open dialogues… initiate that first step!
    So may it be

Similar Threads

  1. Shooter's Husband Arrested; She Says He Posed as Hindu, Then Forced Her to Convert
    By It really doesn't matter. in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 27-08-2014, 01:04 PM
  2. My husband beats me
    By Unregistered in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-09-2012, 09:19 PM
  3. Woman beats husband to death !!!!
    By murtazas in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-11-2011, 02:31 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •