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Thread: Wife doesn't share about this new Friend

  1. #1
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    Default Wife doesn't share about this new Friend

    Hello all,
    I am a 27 year old married guy.It's been 1 year since our marriage now. It was a love arranged marriage. I am aware of my wife's past and knows about everything before we started dating for 3 years and got married.
    Coming straight to my problem, she doesn't tell me about the guy friend she has made in recent times. She doesn't allow me to even touch her mobile,locks it to multiple level,messages all the time when at home ,goes to pick the calls in balcony by saying there is no network inside,goes out alone to meet or help someone whom she just refers as a ' friend of her'(never says the name), I have seen her with this guy going to office when she didn't go with me saying she has some other girl who will pick her,seen her meeting this guy close to my home.often has her mood spoiled after a phone call.
    Now, we have fought many times when I raise these matters, she says it's her friend, she doesn't make much friends,and not to interfere much, she wants space, and she never interferes in what I do.
    I think I have taken and given a lot of liberty in a married life. We don't talk to my brother and sister in law much who lives near boy,don't visit thier home much which we used to do before,don't talk to parents much. On weekends I go with my friends out and so does she. I have shared everything I wanted to her.. She just says , she has not many friends, so she likes them to keep close ,I personally feel she is losing me in making them comfortable, they will all eventually go one day..she should value what is with her all the time

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Yes, seems like she's keeping you out of the loop, and not allowing you to know whats going on with her. That's not really fair in a marriage, and in the long run, not even good for the marriage, causing, as it does, anger and suspicion.

    You may need to communicate to her just how serious the consequences of this friendship can be in terms of trust between you both- and perhaps ask her to include you, so that you don't feel left out and excluded. Do this without fighting and quarreling.....maybe she has not yet understood how the marriage can be impacted!

  3. #3
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    Something is fishy, hire a private detective.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    You have the right to know what is happening... Ask her even if it demands some emotional blackmailing... Tell her firmly that you want to know... Be adamant.. Do some drama too if necessary..
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

  5. #5
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ariesgirl View Post
    You have the right to know what is happening... Ask her even if it demands some emotional blackmailing... Tell her firmly that you want to know... Be adamant.. Do some drama too if necessary..
    agree with this. but i would avoid the drama, and get straight to the point and tell her in clear, concise and unambigous words that this is not acceptable. be ready for an ugly spat, this may even lead to some serious issues. so make yourself tough before you confront.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  6. #6
    Bourne Captain RoleModel007's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ariesgirl View Post
    You have the right to know what is happening... Ask her even if it demands some emotional blackmailing... Tell her firmly that you want to know... Be adamant.. Do some drama too if necessary..
    Doesn't work...
    First, ridiculed. Second, violently opposed. Third, accepted as being self-evident.

  7. #7
    Bourne Captain RoleModel007's Avatar
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    1. Get access to her postpaid bills, take an educated guess to identify the number. Add the number to your phone. Check Whatspp for photo, facebook algorithm will automatically suggest you for friends (which is ironic in this case).

    2. Inst
    all a baby monitor (camouflage it) in your balcony to hear the talks.

    3.
    Install a GPS tracker (camouflage it) in the vehicle to find location.

    4. Check out if you have any good friends at mobile service providers or police crime branch.

    5. Hire
    a good post matrimonial detective.
    First, ridiculed. Second, violently opposed. Third, accepted as being self-evident.

  8. #8
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    First you should confirm that what you are thinking is true or its your mind cooking some extra. Be a detective for a little while but do it with a open mind. Don't take things as confirm by assuming them. If you say she is meeting him often you should have picture.... be open and see what were the settings of this meeting as it may be with many friends which should be acceptable to you. Don't ask her anything and be extra nice to her in the duration you are getting proves.... If she is talking on balcony you should have proof what is she talking about.... Is it lovy dovy talk or talk about frustrations or about office things ...
    Secondly if she is really into something of sort you are telling and you want to live with your wife .... you should find the reason behind this.... It must be you annoying her with something... it may be taunting ...it may be being extra possessive or you may not be taking interest in her day to day things and general venting so she is going to someone else for venting...
    Thirdly and most importantly analyze your love life .... how satisfied is she with you on bed... Are you fulfilling her demands on beds... How good she considers you on bed. It is often said "**** your wife and she would love you" so You should be best for her on bed and that would let her forget many bad things about you...
    She won't tell you directly how good are you on bed but you need to analyze yourself and then quietly improve your performance by researching on stuff... You can have a baby as this would lessen the time she have for meetings you don't like.... Give her a vacation surprise.... First year of marriage is only giving by not expecting anything and I am sure you have not given enough...
    Last edited by Jingleo; 07-03-2016 at 01:15 PM.

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