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Thread: I want to keep both bf & parents happy

  1. #1
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    Unhappy I want to keep both bf & parents happy

    Hi i am 26 years old girl, highly qualified, but with no job yet. 2 yrs ago i fell in love with a boy in <foreign location>. He is also Indian and works there only. We talk regularly on facebook,whataspp,etc. He even came to India to meet me this year and we decided to get married. His parents agreed, but when my parents talked to him, they didn't approve becoz he is only 12th pass and has a simple job.

    My parents want me to get married this year itself because I am the elder daughter and 26 yrs old.

    I applied for university in the same <foreign location> to be with him but my parents are not willing to pay for it becoz they know I am going there just to be with him. He says he will pay and just wants me to be with him.

    Me and him had a fight recently and in anger i told my parents to go ahead with arrange marriage. My parents have looked for a nice match for me. But now, me and my bf have resolved our fight and he says it will destroy him if i get married to someone else.

    My parents have given me everything i have asked for and i don't want to disappoint them in any way. But me and my bf love each other a lot. He says he is willing to move back to India but I don't know how to tell my parents or what to do with my life.

    Thank you for your time and please help.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! well, my dear, the thing is that your parents are probably fearing that there maybe a disconnect in romance and reality, which will make you both unhappy after the glitter of romance wears off. Ina marriage, what makes it last long is the compatibility between partners. That is not to say that a guy who has done his 12th cannot be a good entrepreneur and suitable for you. But to decide that, you may have to know a bit more about his background, what and where his source of income is, his lifestyle etc.
    I'm sure if all of that satisfies your parents, they will support you.

  3. #3
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    You are highly educated.. So naturally your parents want you to get married to someone who has a good educational qualification too... Besides you met him online... Are you saying that he has never even been to college? Or is it that he has completed course,but not passed every subject? If it's the first case,you better forget him... Your parents are unlikely to approve too... You may think his education won't make a difference.. But it might be a problem later esp when you are highly qualified.. Ego issues... And leaving him would make your parents happy too... If it's the second case,but he earns well,they may agree... But if the case is,never been to clg and doesn't earn well too,you have no chance of approval.. Forget it... Online romance would turn out to be yet another strong reason for your parents to disapprove... If your parents mean so much to you like you have written,then give them the top priority... Forget this man... Your parents can find you well educated guys who earn well, through an arranged marriage..
    You saw this coming already... Shouldn't have proceeded for a hopeless relationship...
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

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    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Just have a court marriage with him and fly with him to that foreign location on spouse visa. There is no other way, your parents are not gonna agree anyway.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    life would be wonderful if everyone in this world would get everything they wish for. but thats not the case, and that is why you have to make choices. first thing you have to understand that you cannot satisfy everyone. its simply not possible. so decide what you want and understand you WILL be hurting the other party. whatever you do, you WILL be hurting someone, there is no way out. no neutral way, no win-win situation, nothing.

    also you can try convincing people, but there is a limit to convincing. so after a while, you have to give up. once you accept these two things, chice may become clear. its not simple, but at least there will be clarity. once you decide whom to choose, and whom to hurt, stick to the decision no matter what. all the best.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi i am 26 years old girl, highly qualified, but with no job yet. 2 yrs ago i fell in love with a boy in <foreign location>. He is also Indian and works there only. We talk regularly on facebook,whataspp,etc. He even came to India to meet me this year and we decided to get married. His parents agreed, but when my parents talked to him, they didn't approve becoz he is only 12th pass and has a simple job.

    My parents want me to get married this year itself because I am the elder daughter and 26 yrs old.

    I applied for university in the same <foreign location> to be with him but my parents are not willing to pay for it becoz they know I am going there just to be with him. He says he will pay and just wants me to be with him.

    Me and him had a fight recently and in anger i told my parents to go ahead with arrange marriage. My parents have looked for a nice match for me. But now, me and my bf have resolved our fight and he says it will destroy him if i get married to someone else.

    My parents have given me everything i have asked for and i don't want to disappoint them in any way. But me and my bf love each other a lot. He says he is willing to move back to India but I don't know how to tell my parents or what to do with my life.

    Thank you for your time and please help.
    get married to the guy your parents picked...
    choice/freedom comes when you are self dependent...
    which is not in your case...

  7. #7
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Dont go against your parents ... you are surely going to regret it later. Love is blind but it wud b too late to realise once u are married against ur parents wishes.Also as per ur situation it seems quite impossible to convince ur parents for this relation.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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