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Thread: Want Guidance based on my Personal Experience!

  1. #1
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    Default Want Guidance based on my Personal Experience!

    Hi

    I am a 27 year old guy living in Mumbai. I am doing decently well in life, Qualified and working in a Reputed MNC. My focus in life has been towards having a healthy career and keeping my parents happy. Other things are fine but have always been single till date. For some reason, have always been unsuccessful in striking a Relationship.
    Now am at such a stage, where I need to seriously consider about a stable partner but my thinking is rather different :
    I do not plan to get married due to certain issues:

    1. I live in a mediocre size home. Further expansion of family in current home size is impossible. Currently, the stage where i am, purchasing a home is bit out of my reach. May have to wait few years for that.

    2. The girls which I had attempted to approach in the past, have now married either NRI's or kids of rich businessman. I can also do this but desire to be a self made man and have my own identity. Not sure if anything incorrect in my approach.

    3. I am a little unsure of a girl standing by my side during tough times. If a girl has had a past before me, I expect things to be forgotten and be liked the way I am rather than being compared.

    The above points mentioned is completely my opinion and personal experience.
    I want to enjoy my life as these days won't come back again.

    Please guide me if I need to clear out any misconception or any other guidance to approach above things.

    Thank You Friends!

  2. #2
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    you are over-expecting and having pre-conceived notions about girl`s expectations. my reply on all 3 points -

    1) if a girl makes a decision to marry you, she would have considered your medium sized home. so she has accepted that part of the life along with you. let the girl decide. why are you assuming that all girls want a bigger house and you cannot marry because of that. a lot of families are living happily in even smaller homes.

    2) doing decemtly in life, qualifies and working in a reputed MNC is having your own identity. not sure what more do you mean by having your identity? so i say you are having over-expectations from yourself and assuming that the girl will have over-expectations. incorrect approach. let the girl decide.

    3) why are you assuming that the girl with past relation will compare you. if you have a doubt, just make it clear to the girl that you do not expect to be compared.

    your opinion and personal experience seem to be blown out of proportion. i dont think your reasons to not marry are valid. if you want to get married, get your profile on matrimonial sites and start searching for brides...
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  3. #3
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! look, you have a set of preconceived ideas that are deterring you from going ahead and approaching a girl. Once you have decided that things won;t work- or that you are inferior to other people, then the relationship is doomed to end even before it starts.
    You are only 27....its a time when you are supposed to be experimenting with your working life and working hard as well. no one expects that you have to be a millionaire already. So, give yourself a chance to enjoy life and you will find plenty of people who will go along with you. Don't judge them by your own set of rules.

  4. #4
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rv102938 View Post
    you are over-expecting and having pre-conceived notions about girl`s expectations. my reply on all 3 points -

    1) if a girl makes a decision to marry you, she would have considered your medium sized home. so she has accepted that part of the life along with you. let the girl decide. why are you assuming that all girls want a bigger house and you cannot marry because of that. a lot of families are living happily in even smaller homes.

    2) doing decemtly in life, qualifies and working in a reputed MNC is having your own identity. not sure what more do you mean by having your identity? so i say you are having over-expectations from yourself and assuming that the girl will have over-expectations. incorrect approach. let the girl decide.

    3) why are you assuming that the girl with past relation will compare you. if you have a doubt, just make it clear to the girl that you do not expect to be compared.

    your opinion and personal experience seem to be blown out of proportion. i dont think your reasons to not marry are valid. if you want to get married, get your profile on matrimonial sites and start searching for brides...
    RV has written everything I wanted to say... If I come across someone on any matrimonial site and has the similar conditions,I wouldn't mind going ahead with it... I don't think any girl from a middle class or upper middle class family will have any problem with any of the things you have stated here...
    *almost all the girls coming from a middle class family might have lived in comparatively small houses at least till they were in high school.. Most likely rented house... Our mothers too have waited for a considerably long time to live in a spacious/own house...
    *im not sure if you tried to approach only rich girls in the past.. It's always better to go for someone of the same family status... They would have a similar upbringing,life style and can connect with you easily... Our fathers are self made men too... And so our entire family appreciates men who are self made...
    *we grew up watching our mothers stand by our fathers through thick and thin... And we have always admired that...

    when a proposal comes,what a girl's family is likely to look for is if the guy is from a good family, if he earns well, if he has a reputable and decent job, is he well qualified,if he is of suitable age n if he is a gentleman.. And not things like the area of your house... From what you have written,you look like a most eligible bachelor...
    I guess the points you mentioned above are no more the reasons why you think you don't want to marry... so go ahead... Create your profile in any matrimonial site... Find "the one"... All the best...

    "They are girls who want a luxurious life.. But then there are women who stand by their men and build the empire together".
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

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    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Given the thoughts and opinions that you have, you should not get married and enjoy your life to the fullest while remaining single. There is nothing wrong with not getting married.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    You have insecurities and because you can't portray yourself as you are.... in the process you may be giving out the fake look which is not attracting girls. Take it easy and be yourself.... Secondly if all girls you knew are married.... you need to socialize more and create options for yourself. These options can be at office or in the same friend circle. Don't tell your problems to everyone... people like to sympathize but they don't like to hook up with someone struggling or with problems in life... instead give out impression that everything is good... don't lie but don't give out details to everyone around as positive out look can attract friend of friend. Keep struggling under the water for better home and stay calm above it.
    Remember if someone(Girl) loves your real self she would be on your side during tough times for an assurance that things will be better and believe in your abilities.Trusting yourself and trying out for someone is the key rule. You seem to be a good guy who is just frustrated because of no companionship. I think you would believe in making someone's life better by marrying them... think about marrying someone who's parents are not well off and you can improve her life by marrying her. Don't worry about space at home as opportunities make their way themselves.... You can have an engagement and continue relationship while struggling for better space to live. Be kind to people and participate in events ... you will find solutions to your problems

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    New Born mumbaiplayer's Avatar
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    Ok bro. Here's the low down. And I am a Mumbai boy too so I can relate.

    NRIs are competition yeah. But why? Because they dress better, smell better and are generally speaking more smooth with their talk. You can adopt their style without being NRI. I have only ever lived in India but I have adopted the style.

    Second, you need a bachelor pad. Not a proper house, but there are a lot of good, secure, affordable apartments in the Mumbai area. You need a place you can bring the chicks back to when necessary.

    Third, you need to understand the game. You fear a girl not standing by you because you anticipate dating a gold digger or some sort who will dump you if you lose your job or something. With advanced pickup techniques, women become replaceable. Let the gold digger dump you in the morning. By the evening, you will be in bed with not just 1 but perhaps even 2 girls if you say the right things and know how to excite a woman with the power of words.

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