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Thread: Love her? Leave her?

  1. #1
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    Default Love her? Leave her?

    Hello All, Please help me with the situation I'm facing. Me and my girlfriend are in a relationship for 1 year. She was back off me and she only educated me about touch, kiss and hug that usually ever lovers will do. I never had a girlfriend earlier nor I used to talk with girls right from my childhood. I thought I waited till the age of 26 to get a girlfriend like this who loves me like this much and understands me a lot. But one fine day we got together and thats was her wish. We didn't had sex but we kissed. I thought this much love she has shown me so I became more responsibile for her. One fine day looking my sincerity she told me that she already had a boyfriend and relationship lasted for 4 years and she had sex with him more than twice. Now how can I tell my pain, this is the result I waited for? Not enjoying my teenage life and not talking with any girls in teenage life ? Is this the result what shud I get? She only said I she don't deserve her because of her past and she never felt guilty about it. She is happy in her life but she ruined my life as I can't able to concentrate on anything. My life style has changed, I can't watch tv nor read newspaper nor I talk to my frnds I became lazy always staying alone thinking about her past and crying. Its been 4 months I know about her past and it disturbs me a lot and I'm unable to concentrate on my career as well. My whole life disturbed and she's successful in her career and she's happy. Still we talk but I cannot show the love I used to show her before. But still I feel that I am responsible for her and I can't ignore her. But I'm not getting happy I used to be earlier. What should I do I can't understand. Accept her as this is common in teenage life and if I being selfish I have not enjoyed my teenage life not even used to talk with girls. What should I do? I just cant ignore her but am not happy too. Another problem is as we got closer....., are there any chances that I got infected with hiv or any other disease? As she had sex with her ex more than twice in her past. Please understand my situation and do the needful help.
    Last edited by Preeto Maam; 02-04-2016 at 07:36 PM.

  2. #2
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    She wanted fun, you wanted an LTR. This is a bad match, so leave her and find one that matches your desire. And let her find someone who fulfills her desires. No body is to be blamed here.
    You never know what you can become ..

  3. #3
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    I'm not sure I understand if she is still in the previous relationship or not. However some bad experiences do happen in everyone's life but you not allow it to impact your life or your career. Yes, these are painful experiences, but we must move on and get to grip with life.
    Regarding your second question:See, it just depends on if she has an infection and if there was exchange of bodily fluids during sexual intimacy. If you are in doubt, then maybe you should think of getting testing done.
    It’s difficult to predict the risk of transmission in this situation. Other factors could be at play which would affect the transmission risk (more on that later). Generally speaking, it appears your risk of HIV transmission is very low. Without penetration, it is still possible to contract HIV from a woman's vaginal fluids, but only if there is some contact with an open wound on your penis or contact with the urethra or rectal membranes.

    The best way to verify your HIV status (and subdue your stress) is through an HIV antibody test.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello All, Please help me with the situation I'm facing. Me and my girlfriend are in a relationship for 1 year. She was back off me and she only educated me about touch, kiss and hug that usually ever lovers will do. I never had a girlfriend earlier nor I used to talk with girls right from my childhood. I thought I waited till the age of 26 to get a girlfriend like this who loves me like this much and understands me a lot. But one fine day we got together and thats was her wish. We didn't had sex but we kissed. I thought this much love she has shown me so I became more responsibile for her. One fine day looking my sincerity she told me that she already had a boyfriend and relationship lasted for 4 years and she had sex with him more than twice. Now how can I tell my pain, this is the result I waited for? Not enjoying my teenage life and not talking with any girls in teenage life ? Is this the result what shud I get? She only said I she don't deserve her because of her past and she never felt guilty about it. She is happy in her life but she ruined my life as I can't able to concentrate on anything. My life style has changed, I can't watch tv nor read newspaper nor I talk to my frnds I became lazy always staying alone thinking about her past and crying. Its been 4 months I know about her past and it disturbs me a lot and I'm unable to concentrate on my career as well. My whole life disturbed and she's successful in her career and she's happy. Still we talk but I cannot show the love I used to show her before. But still I feel that I am responsible for her and I can't ignore her. But I'm not getting happy I used to be earlier. What should I do I can't understand. Accept her as this is common in teenage life and if I being selfish I have not enjoyed my teenage life not even used to talk with girls. What should I do? I just cant ignore her but am not happy too. Another problem is as we got closer....., are there any chances that I got infected with hiv or any other disease? As she had sex with her ex more than twice in her past. Please understand my situation and do the needful help.
    leave her...
    she has got an upper hand here...
    its not her mistake that she lived her life...

  5. #5
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    If they had protected Sex then there is no exchange of body fluids. U don't need to worry about HIV or STDs.U can directly ask her about this incase it worries u.

    Now coming to the another point. She had sex with her bf in the past but u didn't. this is totally ur own life style. Non of u are right or wrong. If u can't digest this fact tht past is past then better u leave her. U deserve someone better than her and she deserves someone better than u. Simple.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  6. #6
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    nothing to worry about HIV/AIDS. regarding you story, if she really loves you, you should get together. if you leave her, and another woman comes in your life and tells about her past after her marriage, will that be okay? now a days, its not surprising for girls to have slept before marriage. you didnt do it, so what? dont take this incident as a factor in decision making, trust me. all the best.

    many girls also lie about their past. even when asked. so you should be happy that this girl is being honest.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    Bhai ajkal pyar ka matlb sex hi ho gaya h. We Indians are following western cultures. Khud ka culture bhool rahe hain. To ab jo log virgin hain unko is baat ki ummeed chordni hogi ki unhe unke jesa koi milega. Bhai is ladki ko chord dena warna tum jee nhi paoge. Aur bhi hazaro ladkiya hongi Jo acchi hongi.

  8. #8
    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello All, Please help me with the situation I'm facing. Me and my girlfriend are in a relationship for 1 year. She was back off me and she only educated me about touch, kiss and hug that usually ever lovers will do. I never had a girlfriend earlier nor I used to talk with girls right from my childhood. I thought I waited till the age of 26 to get a girlfriend like this who loves me like this much and understands me a lot. But one fine day we got together and thats was her wish. We didn't had sex but we kissed. I thought this much love she has shown me so I became more responsibile for her. One fine day looking my sincerity she told me that she already had a boyfriend and relationship lasted for 4 years and she had sex with him more than twice. Now how can I tell my pain, this is the result I waited for? Not enjoying my teenage life and not talking with any girls in teenage life ? Is this the result what shud I get? She only said I she don't deserve her because of her past and she never felt guilty about it. She is happy in her life but she ruined my life as I can't able to concentrate on anything. My life style has changed, I can't watch tv nor read newspaper nor I talk to my frnds I became lazy always staying alone thinking about her past and crying. Its been 4 months I know about her past and it disturbs me a lot and I'm unable to concentrate on my career as well. My whole life disturbed and she's successful in her career and she's happy. Still we talk but I cannot show the love I used to show her before. But still I feel that I am responsible for her and I can't ignore her. But I'm not getting happy I used to be earlier. What should I do I can't understand. Accept her as this is common in teenage life and if I being selfish I have not enjoyed my teenage life not even used to talk with girls. What should I do? I just cant ignore her but am not happy too. Another problem is as we got closer....., are there any chances that I got infected with hiv or any other disease? As she had sex with her ex more than twice in her past. Please understand my situation and do the needful help.
    Bro i cudnt stop laughing reading ur query. sorry forgive me. i think the gal is bold n initially thought to hv a carefree relationship with u but wen u started becoming serious she realized the thing n let u know wht she is upto. the only question is u can ask her tht she loves u or not. secondly if she says yes r u prepared to accept her coz she let u know abt her past and she doesnt want to be in guilt. if u can accept tht then move forward else forget her.

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    By the age of 11, your parents or aunt should have caught you masturbating, at least 22 times.

    By the age of 14, they must have asked you about the Kamasutra condom wrappers found in your trouser pockets

    By the age of 16, you must have screwed your neighbour / cousin / dad's friend's daughter or son (does not matter) and kept her panty as a souvenir.

    By the age of 18, you must have visited the doctor to ensure that it is just the CLAP

    By, 21, you should have been the architect and the root cause of at least 4 abortions.

    By 26, you must have had an affair with your aunt, screwed your maid and the neighbour's maid, exposed your wife on a Goan beach, have a premium membership to a swinger's club, an expert at Kegel exercises, know how to use a whip and a feather, have at least half a dozen Ben Vah balls for your favourite ladies, paid a visit to at least 6 Sex fairs, be an expert in strapping on a dildo and going hammer and tongs for hours.

    By 30..... once you get there sir.

  10. #10
    New Born mumbaiplayer's Avatar
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    Who gives a shit? That just means she has a bit of experience and can screw you a hell of a lot better. Would you want a girl with no experience to drive around your car? so why you want a girl with no experience to ride your ****?

    You seem like a loser if you have been triggered by this and can't stop thinking about it. Grow up

  11. #11
    New Born abhinawal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello All, Please help me with the situation I'm facing. Me and my girlfriend are in a relationship for 1 year. She was back off me and she only educated me about touch, kiss and hug that usually ever lovers will do. I never had a girlfriend earlier nor I used to talk with girls right from my childhood. I thought I waited till the age of 26 to get a girlfriend like this who loves me like this much and understands me a lot. But one fine day we got together and thats was her wish. We didn't had sex but we kissed. I thought this much love she has shown me so I became more responsibile for her. One fine day looking my sincerity she told me that she already had a boyfriend and relationship lasted for 4 years and she had sex with him more than twice. Now how can I tell my pain, this is the result I waited for? Not enjoying my teenage life and not talking with any girls in teenage life ? Is this the result what shud I get? She only said I she don't deserve her because of her past and she never felt guilty about it. She is happy in her life but she ruined my life as I can't able to concentrate on anything. My life style has changed, I can't watch tv nor read newspaper nor I talk to my frnds I became lazy always staying alone thinking about her past and crying. Its been 4 months I know about her past and it disturbs me a lot and I'm unable to concentrate on my career as well. My whole life disturbed and she's successful in her career and she's happy. Still we talk but I cannot show the love I used to show her before. But still I feel that I am responsible for her and I can't ignore her. But I'm not getting happy I used to be earlier. What should I do I can't understand. Accept her as this is common in teenage life and if I being selfish I have not enjoyed my teenage life not even used to talk with girls. What should I do? I just cant ignore her but am not happy too. Another problem is as we got closer....., are there any chances that I got infected with hiv or any other disease? As she had sex with her ex more than twice in her past. Please understand my situation and do the needful help.

    Sincerely man, talking about past. You waited was your choice, she didn't was her choice. You were never there when she made an choice. So just chill about that. Now come to real question - leave her or love her. It's a choice have now. Calm down and think seriously is she cheating you now, can she have long time relation with you, does she loves you. Discuss future life with her and think about relation in future not about past. Take a decision based on future happiness and not something buried in past. As far as about infections are concerned get yourself and her checked. Very simple.

  12. #12
    SB Guru Major rosalie's Avatar
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    Well I suggest u ditch her if u don't feel for her and get ur self tested!


  13. #13
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    well am not going to tell you to accept her.. because i understand when u dont have a past its impossible to accept someone with a past... it like it eats you deep inside.. i feel u wont be able to digest the fact... it will keep on haunting you which will lead to bad relationship. so leave this relationship.. but one thing there is no guarantee that you get someone with no experience... its rare nowadays... now it will depend on you only to what you want in life. she confessed with you may be she wanted to be true thats all its up to you to see what you really want...

    there is no need to cry over past though.. what she did was when she didnt even know you.. so she never lacked you respect. let this crying phase be for those whereby they partner are with them and at their back they are cheating.. thats a real pain.. its not pain what you are going through. its simply that ur expectation wasnt met thats all.. do not over react. do not take it personally like this because she didnt cheat on you....
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

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