Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 16

Thread: How do I talk to my dad about his mistakes?

  1. #1
    New Born
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1
    Rep Power
    0

    Default How do I talk to my dad about his mistakes?

    Dear Mam,


    I need your advice. Please help me.


    My dad has worked hard all his life and have achieved a lot with his hard work. It is only because of him we could get good education since he took the difficult decision of moving to a city from a village. He has been the hero of the family as he always helps his siblings financially and morally. In a nutshell, he has earned a good respect (very well deserved).


    For the last few months, he has been getting calls (mostly missed calls and then he calls back) and he steps out to talk to the person on phone. After full verification, I have got to know it is a lady whose husband (passed away more than 10 years ago) used to be my dad's friend. My dad talks to her at-least 15-20 times a day, every-day for more than 6 months and have not saved her number on his phone so no one gets to know about it. I know this as I spend most of my day with my dad these days. He looks happy on the phone. In other words, my dad is having an affair with the lady.


    I want to confront my dad on this and make him realize he is going in the wrong direction for 3 reasons
    1. Having an extra marital affair is wrong
    2. If such a thing is discovered by others, he will end up losing all his reputation that he has earned over the years
    3. Our business is also suffering. We had to bear loss in business as my dad favoured the lady in a deal by purchasing their land that is a dead property.


    However, there is one problem in this situation. My dad is a heart patient. I am afraid how he will take this when I will talk to him on this matter (by discovering that I know his secret). Also, some passing by pandit told him that he will have very critical time with health this year. (P.S. I do not trust such pandits but my dad does). I am in a dilemma on how to talk to him on this topic.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,027
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Hmmm...listen, if they are only having some conversations on the phone, then you really don't have to make a big deal about it. However, you can casually ask who is he taking to? Or who is calling him so often these days? Something like that. Avoid a direct accusation but make him aware that his actions are being noticed. that may prevent him from going any further.
    If, he still does not alter his ways, then you can have further conversation with him, but make sure that its not confrontational- give him a respectable face saving exit route.

  3. #3
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,617
    Rep Power
    62

    Default

    subtle talk. asking firmly but indirectly, just play dumb as if you dont know. maybe things are not like what they seem. maybe its just one side sympathetic favoritism, not a full fledge affair. also good to indirectly make him realize about his reputation.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  4. #4
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,512
    Rep Power
    59

    Default

    Don't poke your nose in his life, enjoy your own life and if you cant stand him, move out.
    You never know what you can become ..

  5. #5
    New Born mumbaiplayer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Mumbai
    Posts
    195
    Rep Power
    57

    Default

    There is nothing wrong with your dad doing such a thing. I think you should leave him be if it is an affair which it probably is not. It is more likely others will find out if you get involved with this situation and spoil relations with your dad.

  6. #6
    New Born
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    194
    Rep Power
    68

    Default

    In situations like such, its always to successful to have a third-person kinda discussion. Meaning -

    When you both are alone, not in a hurry, and in normal good mood, tell him - you are feeling so bad about a friend X, who discovered his uncle Y is having an affair, and that the friend is totally devastated. Imagine what might be going thru the Y's son's mind. Tell that, Y's wife attempted suicide by popping lots of pills blah blah.

    Remember, all this discussion to happen in a very innocent n friendly way. He will get the hint, n may be mend ways.

  7. #7
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,617
    Rep Power
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rhythmic View Post
    In situations like such, its always to successful to have a third-person kinda discussion. Meaning -

    When you both are alone, not in a hurry, and in normal good mood, tell him - you are feeling so bad about a friend X, who discovered his uncle Y is having an affair, and that the friend is totally devastated. Imagine what might be going thru the Y's son's mind. Tell that, Y's wife attempted suicide by popping lots of pills blah blah.

    Remember, all this discussion to happen in a very innocent n friendly way. He will get the hint, n may be mend ways.
    good idea, but this idea will backfire if his dad says - "give me Y's wife's contact, i will take care of her"
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  8. #8
    New Born
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    DND dreamers
    Posts
    97
    Rep Power
    27

    Default

    I am sure your father is a great man. He do understand whats right and whats wrong. You do not fully understand his relationship with your mother. These matters are more of husband and wife talk and not father-son talk. He is not cheating on you after all. If your mother is alive leave the matter to her concern and you stay out of it. If Not seek your fathers best friend for help. He can help him realize that he is heading on the wrong path. Coming from you might make him angry and affect your relationship with him forever.
    May be your father stumble upon a gold digger. May be he knows this as well. No matter what Parents do not accept guidance coming from their children. You can seek some elderly help as well in this concern. A closed relative who is elder than your father might be of help.
    Last edited by 9am; 27-11-2019 at 02:49 PM.

  9. #9
    New Born
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    129
    Rep Power
    25

    Default

    First tell if your mother is alive & living with you all?

    If not then it changes all the answers.. its your dad's life,his decision..DO not POKE your nose

    If your mother is well & living together - yes this is a problematic situation & you need to talk to your dad directly & tell what you think and feel.. Do not tell your judgement ( like to stop talking to the lady etc..etc..). If he accpts that he is in affair with the other lady tell him sincce it will impact your mother you to tell her.. let him then decide further course of action first then.. tell him to take final decision then

  10. #10
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Dev bhumi Himachal
    Posts
    9,223
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Yahan sab gade murde ukhadne Kyu aa gye 3-3 saal purane threads pe????
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  11. #11
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Dev bhumi Himachal
    Posts
    9,223
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Yahan sab gade murde ukhadne Kyu aa gye 3-3 saal purane threads pe????
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  12. #12
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,617
    Rep Power
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Neha1 View Post
    Yahan sab gade murde ukhadne Kyu aa gye 3-3 saal purane threads pe????
    ab naye murde milna band ho gaye, to sab log gade murde hi ukhadenge na....
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  13. #13
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,617
    Rep Power
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Neha1 View Post
    Yahan sab gade murde ukhadne Kyu aa gye 3-3 saal purane threads pe????
    ab naye murde milna band ho gaye, to sab log gade murde hi ukhadenge na....
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  14. #14
    SB MahaGuru Lieutenant-Colonel imperium's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    In a place called Earth
    Posts
    10,452
    Rep Power
    84

    Default

    I think this is a self generated algo which makes these threads into the main stream and then people just reply
    A man may show as reckless a courage in entering into the abyss of himself.

  15. #15
    SB MahaGuru Lieutenant-Colonel imperium's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    In a place called Earth
    Posts
    10,452
    Rep Power
    84

    Default

    I think this is a self generated algo which makes these threads into the main stream and then people just reply
    A man may show as reckless a courage in entering into the abyss of himself.

Similar Threads

  1. Sizzle Rihanna In Her ‘Talk That Talk’ Album Promoshoot
    By sheikh in forum International Celebrities
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 21-11-2011, 07:58 AM
  2. Rihanna – “Talk That Talk” Music Album Promos
    By satisfy in forum International Celebrities
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 19-11-2011, 02:30 PM
  3. Prices soar, policymakers just talk talk and talk
    By rishabhd in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 24-09-2010, 01:39 PM
  4. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 24-03-2009, 10:48 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •