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Thread: My life is a mess..

  1. #1
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    Default My life is a mess..

    Hello Mam,
    Coming straight to the point...

    I was in a relationship with a girl for 8 years and we broke up as our parents were against our relationship. In these 8 years, she never allowed me to have friendship with any girl as she had a belief that a girl and a boy can never be friends. She even removed all the female friends from my facebook and most of them were my seniors. We had 2-3 breakups in the past also due to differences in our thought processes, but whenever I tried to move on she used to come and cry and tell she had no problem with me making female friends but as time passed, she again used to yell at me for having females friends. She even once got furious to know that I went to swimming pool with a male friend of mine in the presence of other girls and we had a big fight over this. Whenever I used to be with my friends, she used to say why I am not with her and that I should be her 1st priority as I am her, used to cry over this saying that "vaise hi itna kam time milta hai, jab milta hai to dosto ka bahana bana ke mil sakte hain na".. So, I never really enjoyed my college life also.

    Now, the thing is ... I have no real female friend on facebook with whom I can talk to. They are fed up of me removing them again and again, all credit goes to my ex. On the other hand my friends are getting married to their lovers and her my parents are against love marriage. They even said that they will keep me unmarried if I do not like any girl our caste but won't allow to marry outside caste. I just simply can't do arrange marriage. My mother also blackmails me emotionally, saying that she would die if I don't marry according to her wish.

    I actually don't understand what is the real issue that is bothering me. I just feel alone, very much alone and depressed. I am thinking to cut off from my social life, so that I don't see people happy. I used to get happy to see people happy but now, whenever I see them happy, I become sad.. jealous maybe.. Just don't feel like going anywhere.
    I am trying to concentrate on my studies and fitness.. but I am not able to.. sometimes feel like ending my life but can't gather that much courage.

  2. #2
    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    Your partner is possessive and likes to exercise control, there may be many reasons to why she’s that way… but to control is abuse, it’ s a bad start to a relationship and you needn’t put up with it. I wouldn’t even bother trying to change her, people like that rarely do change. As for your Mother, i doubt she would kill herself so don’t cave in to her blackmailing. You must start living your own life and stop aiming to please adversaries otherwise you will eventually lose your 'identity'. Here, the decisions that are making you feel depressed - you need to accept that they are your own, your fault. Don’t blame anyone for making you feel bad, you feel that way because you choose to. You have the capacity to make changes, to walk away, to say no etc. but are simply afraid. Live your life to the fullest in any way you see fit if you hurt anyone on the way as long as it wasn't your intent, all will become good in the end.
    So may it be

  3. #3
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    You are depressed, see a psychiatrist.
    You never know what you can become ..

  4. #4
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    you are mixing too many things, so not able to think clearly. first things first - whats done is done. there is nothing you can do about your gf, so move on. forget about her. second thing, abt your image in the minds of other females, again nothing you can change what happened in the past. so just try and behave normally from here on. go out, talk to them, add them on social media.

    regarding mother, nothing wrong in status quo until you find a girl. when and if you find a suitable match for yourselves, discuss the issue clearly with her on how your mother thinks. if still she is fine with it, then talk to your parents. if they still persist, then elope with her. dont worry about your mother's threats. i know it is an emotional thing, but if your mother really does not care for your happiness, then why should you ruin your life. i hope matter does not come to this point, but now is not the time to think about it. lets talk when you are closer to this scenario, i am not going anywhere.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  5. #5
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    [QUOTE=yash1906;7049799]Hello Mam,
    Coming straight to the point...

    I was in a relationship with a girl for 8 years and we broke up as our parents were against our relationship. In these 8 years, she never allowed me to have friendship with any girl as she had a belief that a girl and a boy can never be friends. She even removed all the female friends from my facebook and most of them were my seniors. We had 2-3 breakups in the past also due to differences in our thought processes, but whenever I tried to move on she used to come and cry and tell she had no problem with me making female friends but as time passed, she again used to yell at me for having females friends. She even once got furious to know that I went to swimming pool with a male friend of mine in the presence of other girls and we had a big fight over this. Whenever I used to be with my friends, she used to say why I am not with her and that I should be her 1st priority as I am her, used to cry over this saying that "vaise hi itna kam time milta hai, jab milta hai to dosto ka bahana bana ke mil sakte hain na".. So, I never really enjoyed my college life also.

    Now, the thing is ... I have no real female friend on facebook with whom I can talk to. They are fed up of me removing them again and again, all credit goes to my ex. On the other hand my friends are getting married to their lovers and her my parents are against love marriage. They even said that they will keep me unmarried if I do not like any girl our caste but won't allow to marry outside caste. I just simply can't do arrange marriage. My mother also blackmails me emotionally, saying that she would die if I don't marry according to her wish.

    I actually don't understand what is the real issue that is bothering me. I just feel alone, very much alone and depressed. I am thinking to cut off from my social life, so that I don't see people happy. I used to get happy to see people happy but now, whenever I see them happy, I become sad.. jealous maybe.. Just don't feel like going anywhere.
    I am trying to concentrate on my studies and fitness.. but I am not able to.. sometimes feel like ending my life but can't gather that much courage.[/QUOT

    Concentrate on your career and friends.

  6. #6
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Try to concentrate on your fitness, career and parents ... you are not the only one who have faced breakup.. many people do and they still manage to survive.
    At the end if nothing works go see a psychiatrist.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  7. #7
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    You wasted my time with first paragraph.

    second paragraph.. says you want to score new GF on facebook.

    Third paragraph says: you just want love marriage.

    Suggestion: you are over your Ex. You know she was horrible. You wanted to say so, so you did in first paragraph (wasting my time). Slap your ex. Take selfie with her doing so. set it your profile picture. Your FB female friends will accept your friend request now... fall hopelessly in love with one of them.. Marry Her.

    If you get an appointment from psychiatrist. also get an appointment for me

  8. #8
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  9. #9
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    She is a ***** and she just proved it.. and she is possessive and she is trying to control everything you are doing. Also, does she have any Guy friends.. look this is a trust issue. she really needs to grow up.

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