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Thread: Husband has been caught cheating before marriage

  1. #1
    New Born Princess Dina's Avatar
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    Default Husband has been caught cheating before marriage

    it all started one week after my marriage in November 2015 when i came across his fb profile on his pc. he was trying to cover up with fake stories at the end realised he cant fool me anymore. i insisted he log in and let me see whats inside but he disagreed. and i threated to make a chaos gather all family members if he doesnt, so he accepted and logged in. as i was looking the screen i was so shocked by the fact that there is sign of he cheating on me that my vision became blurred. i was staring the screen yet couldnt see anything though there was a lot to read in those disgusting messages.. all i could hear was am sorry i didnt mean to hurt you.. after a few mins i got my sense started reading and was even more shocked to see how he praised body of women. asking woman to come on skype and get undressed. how other woman praising his body. he had second sim i was unaware of and i got to knw this through his own confession when i was questioning him.

    at that time my tears flowed and all i could remember was how loyal i have been with him during our 5 years relationship prior to marriage. how i have been depriving myself from making simple male friends just because i never wanted him to feel insecure. how i was always there for him care for him. listen to everything he says. and what i got in return. i felt angry thinking how many times in past he threatened me if i dont go out with him he will look for other women.. threatening for something he was actually doing it already.

    in the past he once told me he want to enjoy life well and then get serious with me as i am the one he feel is perfect for him. but i felt bad and told him its ur life you have the right to enjoy your life in different ways. i give you the right to go but dont come back to me because i have a self respect i wont accept you back. but he said no he cant leave me. i told him that if you decide to be with me then you have to respect me and be only mine. he said yes but at my back cheated on me. i feel angry thinking how could i be so dumped to trusted him after he told me he wants to enjoy life. please not that as his girlfriend though i never acepted intercourse, i accepted giving him oral sex whenever he wanted. after engagement he used to come at my place and he used to enjoy without penetration. i was against all those things like getting initmate before marriage but he was so upset when i refused him for the first that i decided to sacrifice my moral values for him. he cant say he wasnt a happy man sexually thats why he cheated. because i was a fool enough to please him every week after engagement.. and he would get back home talking to other women trying to convince t made them for sex.

    he asked for forgiveness but i am unable to forget what he did. pain is really hard to endure. no one can even imagine how broken i feel. if i wasnt married i would have leave him for sure without one thinking but marriage is sacred for me. am a muslim and in our religion divorce is the least thing one can think of. the fact that he says he is extremely sorry doesnt give me the courage to go for divorce but still i am in a dilema because i am unable to trust him. i have become a suspicious person. each time he is late from office i feel negative. i dont knw how to throw away ths negativity. this sound too serious for me that one day before our marriage he was still trying to flirt with woman. i mean one day before marriage. this fact prevent me for accepting his excuse that he decided to stop all these once he get married. the fact that one day before our marriage he was still chating on his fb despite having relatives and a lot of preparation work make me feel he had intention to continue this. i am not able to take a decision. i am lost within myself. i am getting difficulty to trust him again now.

    after we got engaged he stopped flirting with young girls because he couldnt find someone better than me he knew was sure that i will be the one. so after engagement he started doing skype stuff and meeting with old ladies of 40 to 50 yrs old. i feel he has been really selfish with me. he kept me as a spare part and looked for other girls but couldnt get the one he would feel is better and finally decided to get committed to me. i have so many things in my head i dont knw what to do anymore. i wanted to knw how other people view my situation? am i right? where did i go wrong? what should i do?
    Last edited by Princess Dina; 18-05-2016 at 06:27 PM.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Yes, this behaviour would be pretty hurtful and its not surprising that you feel this way. Does he realise how disturbed and cheated you feel?
    However, going forward, in a non- confrontational way, you should convey to him that he has come dangerously close to losing everything- your trust, his marriage and his secure relationship with you. It is natural that you will be suspicious for a while and then things do settle down. But he has to know that forgiveness will not come every time he errs. So, make that clear to him and also in your head, you need to think about what steps you will take if such a thing were to happen again....

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    gather all the proofs and get a divorce.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    New Born confused_butterfly's Avatar
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    I know how you feel having been through something similar. The mental agony is the same because you are more disappointed with yourself than with him. It get's better on some days and it is not so good on others. It is all about losing your confidence. I have not been successful in gaining back my confidence.

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    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    Be smart, manipulate him, looks like he can b manipulated easily. Do a sting operation, have your friend trap him in her net, then show all communications that he has with her to your and his parents, relatives and friends and just get a divorce.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Dina View Post
    it all started one week after my marriage in November 2015 when i came across his fb profile on his pc. he was trying to cover up with fake stories at the end realised he cant fool me anymore. i insisted he log in and let me see whats inside but he disagreed. and i threated to make a chaos gather all family members if he doesnt, so he accepted and logged in. as i was looking the screen i was so shocked by the fact that there is sign of he cheating on me that my vision became blurred. i was staring the screen yet couldnt see anything though there was a lot to read in those disgusting messages.. all i could hear was am sorry i didnt mean to hurt you.. after a few mins i got my sense started reading and was even more shocked to see how he praised body of women. asking woman to come on skype and get undressed. how other woman praising his body. he had second sim i was unaware of and i got to knw this through his own confession when i was questioning him.

    at that time my tears flowed and all i could remember was how loyal i have been with him during our 5 years relationship prior to marriage. how i have been depriving myself from making simple male friends just because i never wanted him to feel insecure. how i was always there for him care for him. listen to everything he says. and what i got in return. i felt angry thinking how many times in past he threatened me if i dont go out with him he will look for other women.. threatening for something he was actually doing it already.

    in the past he once told me he want to enjoy life well and then get serious with me as i am the one he feel is perfect for him. but i felt bad and told him its ur life you have the right to enjoy your life in different ways. i give you the right to go but dont come back to me because i have a self respect i wont accept you back. but he said no he cant leave me. i told him that if you decide to be with me then you have to respect me and be only mine. he said yes but at my back cheated on me. i feel angry thinking how could i be so dumped to trusted him after he told me he wants to enjoy life. please not that as his girlfriend though i never acepted intercourse, i accepted giving him oral sex whenever he wanted. after engagement he used to come at my place and he used to enjoy without penetration. i was against all those things like getting initmate before marriage but he was so upset when i refused him for the first that i decided to sacrifice my moral values for him. he cant say he wasnt a happy man sexually thats why he cheated. because i was a fool enough to please him every week after engagement.. and he would get back home talking to other women trying to convince t made them for sex.

    he asked for forgiveness but i am unable to forget what he did. pain is really hard to endure. no one can even imagine how broken i feel. if i wasnt married i would have leave him for sure without one thinking but marriage is sacred for me. am a muslim and in our religion divorce is the least thing one can think of. the fact that he says he is extremely sorry doesnt give me the courage to go for divorce but still i am in a dilema because i am unable to trust him. i have become a suspicious person. each time he is late from office i feel negative. i dont knw how to throw away ths negativity. this sound too serious for me that one day before our marriage he was still trying to flirt with woman. i mean one day before marriage. this fact prevent me for accepting his excuse that he decided to stop all these once he get married. the fact that one day before our marriage he was still chating on his fb despite having relatives and a lot of preparation work make me feel he had intention to continue this. i am not able to take a decision. i am lost within myself. i am getting difficulty to trust him again now.

    after we got engaged he stopped flirting with young girls because he couldnt find someone better than me he knew was sure that i will be the one. so after engagement he started doing skype stuff and meeting with old ladies of 40 to 50 yrs old. i feel he has been really selfish with me. he kept me as a spare part and looked for other girls but couldnt get the one he would feel is better and finally decided to get committed to me. i have so many things in my head i dont knw what to do anymore. i wanted to knw how other people view my situation? am i right? where did i go wrong? what should i do?
    I dont think that u cant change temperament of someone who is deeply attracted towards physical love. best thing wud be leave him n file divorce. he cant change a bit.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Dina View Post
    am i right? where did i go wrong? what should i do?
    yes you are right...
    you trusted an unfaithful man..
    if you can then you should go for divorce...
    if you can't, then may be give him one more chance...
    it would be really nice for you if you could live on your own separately....
    i am not sure how married people react to this situation..
    as a third party, whatever he did is unacceptable...

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