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Thread: Husband has got another wife home

  1. #1
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    Default Husband has got another wife home

    hi mam
    I am a 23 yr old gal. I moved to Singapore with my husband last year. previously I lived in Aligarh.
    everything was great. my husband loved me & my parents were happy. I was preparing for admission in humanities & planning to have a baby too.
    but all of a sudden, my husband brought another gal in my house. he said it was the will of allah & I will always be his first & most loved wife.
    I felt cheated & hurt & cried but I couldn't do anything against it. this country isn't like US or UK & unlike india laws are very strictly male centric here.
    I haven't told this to my parents & this has been the worst 4 months of my life.
    mam I feel like a used item & they make me do household work & cook food & sit alone at the home all day. she gives me a smile of victory & I cant stand him entering her bedroom every night when I sleep alone. she teases me as she knows my husband prefers her over me & I have developed insecurity & depression problems.
    I cant understand why god did this to me. I was the best possible & dedicated wife & yet he did this to me.
    sometimes I feel like killing myself & end this forever. at other times I feel like killing her & going to jail. I cant kill him as I love him. he was the first & only man in my life.
    I cant see her smiling & touchinh him & he preferring her over me & making me feel incomplete or ugly.

    please help me. any words of advice. please.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hmmm...well, at age 23, you can't say good bye to your life and nor can you give up on it because your husband decides that he wants another woman. Get some spunk into you and get yourself a life. How about you think of taking your life forward in terms of studying and getting a job or doing some work? You have the great advantage of youth on your side.
    See, its very easy to make excuses for non-action- orthodoxy, family and all that and harder to take your life's decisions into your own hands. But once you do it, you become stronger and independent and after that, its a different ball game my dear!
    So be strong and look at your options.

  3. #3
    New Born abhinawal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi mam
    I am a 23 yr old gal. I moved to Singapore with my husband last year. previously I lived in Aligarh.
    everything was great. my husband loved me & my parents were happy. I was preparing for admission in humanities & planning to have a baby too.
    but all of a sudden, my husband brought another gal in my house. he said it was the will of allah & I will always be his first & most loved wife.
    I felt cheated & hurt & cried but I couldn't do anything against it. this country isn't like US or UK & unlike india laws are very strictly male centric here.
    I haven't told this to my parents & this has been the worst 4 months of my life.
    mam I feel like a used item & they make me do household work & cook food & sit alone at the home all day. she gives me a smile of victory & I cant stand him entering her bedroom every night when I sleep alone. she teases me as she knows my husband prefers her over me & I have developed insecurity & depression problems.
    I cant understand why god did this to me. I was the best possible & dedicated wife & yet he did this to me.
    sometimes I feel like killing myself & end this forever. at other times I feel like killing her & going to jail. I cant kill him as I love him. he was the first & only man in my life.
    I cant see her smiling & touchinh him & he preferring her over me & making me feel incomplete or ugly.

    please help me. any words of advice. please.
    I am not sure about Singaporean laws are male centric. In Singapore - "Muslim marriages are for couples where both partners are Muslim. A man may take up to four wives provided that he meets financial requirements and obtains the consent of existing wives". So if you are not Muslim, he can't marry again and if you both are then also he needs your consent for second marriage. If he is found doing something illegal his stay and work permit will be cancelled. Anyway why you want to be with such man. Go to police and court and show him what a women can do, if man doesn't show respect. Also you should focus on your financial independence and studies. Tell your and his parents about this all.
    Last edited by abhinawal; 30-05-2016 at 09:46 AM.

  4. #4
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    Nobody deserves to be an option or a backup plan in someone's life... Be it a relationship or a married life.. Move back to India soon.. Tell all this to your family.. They should know what's happening in your life... You can't keep them under dark for long... You don't deserve to be The treated like trash... Just because your husband is a jerk doesn't mean that you are unworthy.. You deserve a better life,don't you think so? You don't need a man for survival... Esp a douchebag like him...
    Gather your confidence and hold your head high, kick him out of your life... As planned,pursue your higher education... Don't tolerate being treated this way.. Get rid of him if he is not willing to get rid of her...
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

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    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    Instead of wasting time posting here, why don't you google about the local law? I think this it a fake post.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    lot of islam bashing fake posts in recent few weeks. whoever it is needs to grow up. wondering why anokhe lal saxena hasnt jumped here yet, not saying he is the one that has posted though...
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi mam
    I am a 23 yr old gal. I moved to Singapore with my husband last year. previously I lived in Aligarh.
    everything was great. my husband loved me & my parents were happy. I was preparing for admission in humanities & planning to have a baby too.
    but all of a sudden, my husband brought another gal in my house. he said it was the will of allah & I will always be his first & most loved wife.
    I felt cheated & hurt & cried but I couldn't do anything against it. this country isn't like US or UK & unlike india laws are very strictly male centric here.
    I haven't told this to my parents & this has been the worst 4 months of my life.
    mam I feel like a used item & they make me do household work & cook food & sit alone at the home all day. she gives me a smile of victory & I cant stand him entering her bedroom every night when I sleep alone. she teases me as she knows my husband prefers her over me & I have developed insecurity & depression problems.
    I cant understand why god did this to me. I was the best possible & dedicated wife & yet he did this to me.
    sometimes I feel like killing myself & end this forever. at other times I feel like killing her & going to jail. I cant kill him as I love him. he was the first & only man in my life.
    I cant see her smiling & touchinh him & he preferring her over me & making me feel incomplete or ugly.

    please help me. any words of advice. please.


    Sorry to hear whats happening with u , its disgusting situation , u must get in touch with ur parents , tell ur parents and his parents as well , if u dont the situation will turn ugly , already its ugly situation ,u can hit the other woman but then law their is not as same as that is in India ,best is involve both of ur parents , & this relationship is abusive kind of for u , think what u have to do , best is as i said involve ur parents if he improves good if he doesn't u will have to leave him and this abusive relationship and move on , u can get good person as in partner in life , now dont leave like a save or **** , show ur something , why do home chores and let them enjoy , make the other woman work , make her life miserable , if ur man forces u can lodge police complaint against both but then it wont be good for u as well , if u ready to face consequences and if u brave enough just do it . be careful , tc ,God bless u ,bye

  8. #8
    Chalak¤Guy®™ Lieutenant parveztubez's Avatar
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    Hope the following "Eight questions on bigamy in Singapore answered" help you, FAKER


    SINGAPORE - Am Man named Tan Tee Wee, 48, married in Singapore in 1998, then again in New Zealand in 2010.


    The bigamist was sentenced to two months jail by a Singapore court on Wednesday. We take a look at the laws against bigamy in Singapore, the definitions and some recent cases:


    1. What exactly is bigamy?


    Bigamy refers to the act of entering into a marriage while still married to another person.


    2. Is bigamy always illegal?


    Under civil law, yes. Only monogamous marriages are provided for in The Women's Charter. Part II of the charter, titled Monogamous marriages, lists bigamy as an offence.


    Section 6 of the Charter states that it is unlawful for any person who is "lawfully married under any law, religion, custom or usage" to marry again in Singapore or elsewhere. A person can be convicted even if the second marriage is a customary one.


    3. What are the penalties?


    Under section 494 of the Penal Code, the bigamist can be jailed up to seven years, and fined. An exception is made if the prior marriage had been declared void or the former spouse has not been heard from for seven years.


    The jail term can extend to 10 years if the man or woman did not inform the second "spouse" that they are already married, according to section 495 of the Code.


    4. Are there exceptions?


    These laws apply to civil marriages in Singapore. Under Syariah law, a Muslim man may marry up to four wives at one time. A man can take more than one wife if:


    - he can provide for the financial, physical and emotional well-being of his wives


    - has a good marriage, and is not taking another wife because his first marriage is unhappy


    - has specific reasons such as benefits the first marriage cannot provide but the second marriage can. "In this context, love is not one of the benefits", says the Registry of Muslim Marriages on its website.


    5. Bigamy, polygamy, polygyny: How are they different?


    Bigamy refers to the act of entering into a marriage while still married to another person. Polygamy is the same but with more than two people.


    Polygygny happens when, specifically, a man marries more than one woman.


    Polyandry is when a woman marries more than one man.


    Where there are multiple males and females in an arrangement, it can be termed polygynandry or a group marriage.


    6. Who handles bigamy investigations in Singapore?


    The Tanglin Division of the Singapore Police Force has a squad dedicated to cracking bigamy cases, as the Registry of Marriage is under its jurisdiction, The Straits Times reported in 2008.


    7. How do you check if your partner has been married before?


    Singaporeans can do a Registry of Marriages search, but it is more tricky if the spouse is of a different nationality.


    Lawyers can write to the registry of marriages in the person's home country to check if he has been married there before. However, the registry may not disclose such information as it is confidential.


    Lawyer G Dinagaran told The New Paper in 2011, that he advises clients to engage a lawyer in that country, or make a request through the country's embassy.


    8. What are some examples of bigamy in Singapore?


    There are a few reported cases in The Straits Times and The New Paper:


    - A marketing manager married again in Vietnam just two months after his first marriage, the New Paper reported in 2008. He then arranged for a sham marriage for his second wife, a Vietnamese, so she can live in Singapore. He was jailed a week and fined $6,000 for bigamy. He had a customary wedding, but did not register his marriage in Vietnam as he was afraid the authorities there would check his marital status.


    - A taxi driver was jailed one day, and fined $5,000 in 2009 for marrying another woman in China while still married to his Singaporean wife. He also married a Filipino woman in the Philippines while married to his Chinese wife. He was divorced from his Singaporean wife by then.


    - There are also cases of women who married more than once. In a 2011 case, a Singaporean man found out that his Filipino wife was already married in the Philippines after seven years together. She was jailed for seven months after pleading guilty to one count each of bigamy and making a false statement in her application for permanent residency in Singapore.


    Sources: Singapore Statues online, Registry of Muslim Marriages website, Straits Times archives and The New Paper archives
    Don’t observe followers of a Religion. Refer to Authentic Sources of that Religion

  9. #9
    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi mam
    I am a 23 yr old gal. I moved to Singapore with my husband last year. previously I lived in Aligarh.
    everything was great. my husband loved me & my parents were happy. I was preparing for admission in humanities & planning to have a baby too.
    but all of a sudden, my husband brought another gal in my house. he said it was the will of allah & I will always be his first & most loved wife.
    I felt cheated & hurt & cried but I couldn't do anything against it. this country isn't like US or UK & unlike india laws are very strictly male centric here.
    I haven't told this to my parents & this has been the worst 4 months of my life.
    mam I feel like a used item & they make me do household work & cook food & sit alone at the home all day. she gives me a smile of victory & I cant stand him entering her bedroom every night when I sleep alone. she teases me as she knows my husband prefers her over me & I have developed insecurity & depression problems.
    I cant understand why god did this to me. I was the best possible & dedicated wife & yet he did this to me.
    sometimes I feel like killing myself & end this forever. at other times I feel like killing her & going to jail. I cant kill him as I love him. he was the first & only man in my life.
    I cant see her smiling & touchinh him & he preferring her over me & making me feel incomplete or ugly.

    please help me. any words of advice. please.

    No disrespect but be honest, growing up as a Muslim girl surely you must have known about Muslim men taking up to 3 wives, surely you must have envisaged the scenario and hardened your pysche at the possibility that one day you may end up in the same dreaded fate? Can't blame him, your religion sanctions this and does little to put right the flaws. Killing is not the solution, and dear, hating will only consume you, it's the worst thing on this planet. You deserve so much better. Go back to India or to a place where your independence will be respected, think also about changing your faith. It's a good faith but perhaps by marrying someone from another you'd be treated better in the future. Adopt the 'once bitten twice shy' approach when it comes to Muslim men.
    So may it be

  10. #10
    New Born anokhe lal saxena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rv102938 View Post
    lot of islam bashing fake posts in recent few weeks. whoever it is needs to grow up. wondering why anokhe lal saxena hasnt jumped here yet, not saying he is the one that has posted though...
    i like it.
    I like it bhaiya.
    I like it.

    bhaiya humein bahaut achha lagta hain jab aap aise miss karte ho bhaiya. I like it.
    bhaiya ye bhi ho sakta hai ki ye fake post ho. lekin ye bhi toh ho sakta hai bhaiya ki katwa sach mein doosri aurat ghar le aaya ho.
    waise bhi aap logo ke yahan to ye chalta rehta hai na bhaiya - abba nayi ammi le aaye - chacha nayi chachi le aaye jo unse 50 saal chhoti hain - daadajaan dubara dulhe ban gaye.

    jitney bhi muslims hain aa kar rone lagte hain ki fake post hain. bhaiya ye toh socho aapke faith ke log fake hain.
    aur aise religion ki udhedne ke liye fake post kyon karega anokhe ya doosre. dil khol kar bolege ki profit ne kahani sunai jisko religion man liya aur ab aurato pe zulm aur aatankwadi banana islam ka sabse bada sahyog hain.

    didi aap islam ko chhod dein. islam mein koi bhi ek aurat ka istemaal karke usey chhod sakta hai.
    aap ko sun kar dukh hoga ki india mein bhi BAN TRIPLE TALAQ ke liye Aisha aur saira bano 3 month se lad rahi hain. lekin rv102938 aur perveztubez jaise log unhe daba rahe hain.
    islam mein aurat ki izzat sirf naam ke liye hain didi.

    aap india ja kar apni padhai karein aur jaisa ki lisbonstar bhaiya ne kaha hai - islam aur muslim ladko se door rahe. sab 3-4 aurato ki chul me pade rahte hain ye.

    I like it lisbonstar bhaiya.
    I like it.

  11. #11
    SB Champion Lieutenant
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    you are still very young....and hopefully an educated one....file Divorce straight away....as no matter what, you know that INJUSTICE has been done with you. Now it's totally upto you. My suggestion would be make a call immediately to your parents and 'his' parents too. and caught a flight. Fight for your right. OR perish slowly...painfully...See in the end nobody matters, what he did to you may be repeated again in future...there is no end to it....try to understand all this.

  12. #12
    SB Legend Brigadier General
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    Not a good sign

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