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Thread: Suffering from super shyness!

  1. #1

    Angry Suffering from super shyness!

    Dear all. I have been following this forum for a long time. You guys give valuable suggestions to those who are facing problem hence I decided to post my own here. I hope it gets post. Let me give you a little bit of background here. I'm 25 years male graduated in IT but currently jobless. I never had any girlfriend or female friends till date except may be just a few female friends for only a couple of months. Even in those coupe of months we were not so close like how I used to be with my male friends. I say couple of months because in my college class and also when I was preparing for CAT , I talked to only 2 girls at the most 3. Now coming back to the old story. I'm very very shy when it comes to talking to girls but I noticed the same with aunts or ladies. I recently discovered that this particular trait of mine might prove hazardous to me when climbing corporate ladder. A good leader must have excellent communication skills apart from other ones but I'm not able to communicate with girls because of my Extreme shyness. I just can't Stand how girls stare at me when I communicate with them , because I'm quiet good looking and fair and I've a very friendly and easy-going , cool personality. I rarely get angry. Few years ago one girl in our CAT coaching classes had strike a good friendship with me. I used to help her with all the problem solving and stuff in the classes and we were good friends. Then Suddenly one day she entirely stopped talking to me only because one wrong sms/non-veg joke got sent to her. I apologized but she stopped talking to me from that day onwards. I then felt she was just waiting for the right opportunity to get rid of me. and No I was not attracted to her in any way but I do not know if she was attracted to me. We were no more than friends. So overall I have zero experience when it comes to girls. Also , I'm straightforward most of the time when talking with my male friends and they handle my comments/criticism about their personality very well. Example , if I don't like something about someone I just tell them on face and they don't beat me up. But if I tell something which I don't like about a girl on her face , I fear she might beat me up in the public! and it might create a bad impression of me overall in the situation. So I've this fear of talking to girls and then here is shyness also. Since I'm 25 now , I also suspect I might fall in love with some random girl or vice-versa if we became friends which I certainly don't want to get involve in at this stage of life because I'm focusing on the career part. And then all these things create big dramas in life and a lot of energy and time is spent in resolving those. I suspect what my future wife will think of me when I'll be married. So you see how bad I'm with girls. I'm just not able to build up the courage to talk to girls and my confidence levels go zero when I face any. I just can't Stand how girls stare at me when I talk to them. It just makes me more nervous. Please don't tell me to join personality development classes , because I do not have time for any even though I'm jobless right now. How do I get rid of this habit?? What to do? Please guide. Thanks for reading.
    Last edited by Preeto Maam; 30-05-2016 at 09:01 AM.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, yes, not being able to communicate with 50% of the human race could be an issue for sure. So, instead of avoiding the situation, try and resolve it by facing it. See, firstly, girls are like any other human being- only packaged differently than men are, so that's nothing to be scared about.
    Secondly, where's the need to tell people what you don't like about them even when you barely know them?? That could be definitely offensive.
    Lastly, start working on yourself to be natural around girls. treat them with respect- don't try and come across as smart or funny, but just be yourself. Don't approach people with a view to impress them but with a view to communicate and that should help you to get to know people- girls included.

  3. #3
    SB Wizard Captain theachiever's Avatar
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    See these videos they will surely help you.....overcome the shyness and focus on your priorities.

    Live ur lyf lyk U r the director of a movie.Can’t control 100% ,roll wid the punches as if U were calling the shots.

  4. #4
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    You will be fine once you get a job.
    You never know what you can become ..

  5. #5
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virat1 View Post
    .......but currently jobless........this particular trait of mine might prove hazardous to me when climbing corporate ladder. A good leader must have excellent communication skills apart from other ones but ......I'm jobless right now
    you are jobless, and you want to climb the corporate ladder....

    dude, how can you climb corporate ladder if you are jobless? i mean you are not worried about the jobless part but you are worried that how will talk to girls when you are at the top of corporate ladder? WTF man.....

    ok, your typical answer will be you will get a job and experience to get promotions and learn your job, right? same reply for talking to girls....once you get a job, you will have to interact with all types of staff, so like you will learn others things in the job, you will learn this too...

    stop over-thinking about this one aspect. maybe you need to watch some porn and release your tingling sperms. focus on your career and job, girls will come automatically.
    Last edited by rv102938; 30-05-2016 at 07:55 PM.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  6. #6
    SB Legend Brigadier General
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    Lovely ...............

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