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Thread: I just hate My mil!

  1. #1
    New Born pagli's Avatar
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    Default I just hate My mil!

    Hello Preto mam hello guys,
    i ll make My Story Short.
    i had a Love marriage 3 years ago.iam happy with My husband and Child.
    I lived with my mother in law for 6 months After marriage that was the Most horrible experience of my life. A confidant girl like me went under Depression thought Abt suicide...thank god i slowly went out of it when we left their home and went out for husbands Job. My husband is a too emotional and to attached Kind of a person. In that 6 months he Never Said anything to his mother or Sisters Coz he did want to avoid more problems.

    today After 3 years as much as iam happy with him...i just cant stand my mother in law and his sisters
    i Love my father in law tough.
    she Never Misses the Chance to hurt me. She always says something which is very hurtful sometimes about me sometimes about my parents.
    i havent Said a Single desresepectful word against her in all These years
    sometimes i really want to Do it...but then the Person she is...she ll remind me and my husband everytime oh she Said this what Kind of upbringing has she. And let me Tell u her Own daughters have no manners.

    What should i Do like yesterday she asked for the third Time If my Family is coming on her daughters marriage.,
    she hasnt invited them personally yet ( which iam sure she ll have do Coz of the pressure) but i know she does Not want to invite them.
    i want to Tell my Family Not to come.. She says These things when ever we Are Alone...pls Guide me

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! Listen, the best way to deal with such people is to develop a thick skin and when she says hurtful things, either ignore completely or look as if you din't understand.
    Why would you ask your family not to come to the marriage? The next time she says this, just tell her that ' Mom, right now they haven't received a card, so i really can't ask them if they are coming or not'
    Their not coming to your sister in laws wedding will be taken as a rudeness and you certainly don't want that, do you?
    Play along and try and be less sensitive- best for your health!

  3. #3
    DESTINY STILL ARRIVES! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    This is normal behavior by any Indian Mother-in-law. Im gonna tell you the mentality of a Guy's Mom in a love marriage. Since, its a love marriage, she didn't get to choose the girl for her son....that is No. 1 on her ego list. 2nd thing, since her son chose the girl that he loves, Mothers (also Women in general) take that as a threat to them. Why? Because they think that you will take their son away from her, which is not true, but thats the mentality. This develops insecurity, and hence obviously your MIL will lash out on you on every opportunity she gets.

    Now the advice, its all the mind Pagli. Since, you're expecting or hoping your hubby's family to treat you well so that you treat them well...this is not working. Firstly you need to accept them as a family. Then, try to make the mother happy....its been 3 years, do you what she likes? Do it....Make ur husband spend more time with her mother than with you.....for few days.....Now you'll be like "Why should I do this, she treats me so bad?"...Thats not mature, the mature thing is to firstly accept the situation and not avoid it...and then you have to at least try to be the part of the family...You have to make the mother feel that you are not taking away his son, you're gaining a new daughter........And doing all that yourself wont work, your husband needs to reciprocate the same thing to your mother and father. This is how family works, if one is unhappy, it all goes to shit.
    I Hope They Remember You...



  4. #4
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    if she asked you - then why dont you answer "no" and give some reason. whats the problem in that? if they go, and there is some insulting situation, it might lead to further issues. just be direct and answer, they cannot come. dont go into too much details as to why and what. if she says anything to you, just listen and ignore.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  5. #5
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    Do some drama and convince your husband to move out. You both should live separately. Learn some tricks etc. from home hindi serials.
    You never know what you can become ..

  6. #6
    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pagli View Post
    Hello Preto mam hello guys,
    i ll make My Story Short.
    i had a Love marriage 3 years ago.iam happy with My husband and Child.
    I lived with my mother in law for 6 months After marriage that was the Most horrible experience of my life. A confidant girl like me went under Depression thought Abt suicide...thank god i slowly went out of it when we left their home and went out for husbands Job. My husband is a too emotional and to attached Kind of a person. In that 6 months he Never Said anything to his mother or Sisters Coz he did want to avoid more problems.

    today After 3 years as much as iam happy with him...i just cant stand my mother in law and his sisters
    i Love my father in law tough.
    she Never Misses the Chance to hurt me. She always says something which is very hurtful sometimes about me sometimes about my parents.
    i havent Said a Single desresepectful word against her in all These years
    sometimes i really want to Do it...but then the Person she is...she ll remind me and my husband everytime oh she Said this what Kind of upbringing has she. And let me Tell u her Own daughters have no manners.

    What should i Do like yesterday she asked for the third Time If my Family is coming on her daughters marriage.,
    she hasnt invited them personally yet ( which iam sure she ll have do Coz of the pressure) but i know she does Not want to invite them.
    i want to Tell my Family Not to come.. She says These things when ever we Are Alone...pls Guide me
    its sometimes better to keep quite and ignore. Mark Twain > Quotes > Quotable Quote

    “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”. so dont take these things to heart.





  7. #7
    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    Never use the word 'hate' nobody has the reason to hate, you can detest, dislike and frown upon but never hate. Butterflies that fly off a leaf in Mexico leave such an impact on the leaf that it's vibrations causes an earthquake on the opposite side of the world in Australia. Your actions create an equal opposite reaction and vibrations - The law of chaos. When you hate you are sending out negative signals into the universe for some poor unfortunate soul to cling onto... please do not hate anything or anyone despite what they've said or done
    So may it be

  8. #8
    SB Legend Brigadier General
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    Hard job to cope mil

  9. #9
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Reading all this I feel lucky that I stay alone with my husband away from inlaws.... otherwise this is a common problem faced by married girls these days. I wish you could show up someday and tell us how you managed things. People usually don't mind to come back and tell update.
    PS: hmari suggestion le k chle jate hain and don't tell us if it worked
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  10. #10
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Reading all this I feel lucky that I stay alone with my husband away from inlaws.... otherwise this is a common problem faced by married girls these days. I wish you could show up someday and tell us how you managed things. People usually don't mind to come back and tell update.

    PS: hmari suggestion le k chle jate hain and don't bother telling us if it worked
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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