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Thread: My girlfriend is fat. Please help

  1. #1
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    Default My girlfriend is fat. Please help

    I am dating a girl. We both are each others first relationship. I am 28 she is 27.

    I do like her a lot. The only problem is that I am very disciplined and fit... but she is fat. She and I are the same weight actually. Although they say that looks dont matter... but I do have some specific physical preferences... which I shouldnt be ashamed of having right?

    Please help... how do I communicate this to her... I do hint at it here and there without sounding disrespectful. And maybe she gets it too.... but I can be very honest... that weight thing is such a big deal that it cant overshadow the personality of hers that I love.

    You may say... what if a beautiful slim wife gets fat after marriage. But then I wouldve had some hot time with a slim wife right? I do not turned on by her looks.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! Extra weight on anyone's body is no good. Even the person concerned would feel better with a fitter body- more confidant and certainly more healthy. So, you can work out a fitness regime for the both of you, where you can do a diet and exercise routine together. communicating to her that you are concerned about her health and would help her getting a fitter body, should not be detrimental to your relationship- as long as you say it in a positive manner and not as a criticism as to the way she looks.

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    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Why is she your GF if she is fat? Was she slim before? Or you were desperate and took whatever you got in the initial stages? leave her alone, find someone else. She has the right to remain far or whatever.. she has the right to start thinking about getting slim whenever he wants, maybe 10 years down the road. But she shouldn't be your "GF" anymore.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by o00 View Post
    Why is she your GF if she is fat? Was she slim before? Or you were desperate and took whatever you got in the initial stages? leave her alone, find someone else.
    .
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I am dating a girl. We both are each others first relationship. I am 28 she is 27.

    I do like her a lot. The only problem is that I am very disciplined and fit... but she is fat. She and I are the same weight actually. Although they say that looks dont matter... but I do have some specific physical preferences... which I shouldnt be ashamed of having right?

    Please help... how do I communicate this to her... I do hint at it here and there without sounding disrespectful. And maybe she gets it too.... but I can be very honest... that weight thing is such a big deal that it cant overshadow the personality of hers that I love.

    You may say... what if a beautiful slim wife gets fat after marriage. But then I wouldve had some hot time with a slim wife right? I do not turned on by her looks.
    this looks like a case of arranged marriage..
    i would suggest you to engage her in some physical activity..jogging could be one thing...
    there are plenty ways to tell that a person is fat.

  6. #6
    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    You most certainly do have the choice of physical preference and attraction, there's no sense in marrying someone who you don't fancy, but you simply cannot tell a girl that she is fat and live to tell the tale. You'd need to build her self esteem not destroy it. Be sensitive, subliminal even. You could tell her that you yourself used to be a lot fitter and how you feel that you have put on weight and that you no longer like yourself. Express that keeping fit, looking good is extremely important to you in life. Objective is to get her to start questioning herself without you directly saying anything. Eventually invite her along to the gym, get her a PT and become training partners. A fanatic she will become once she starts seeing results
    So may it be

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    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Well it's quite difficult to pursue someone for something he/she don't desire... Tell her that you want to see her more fitter. But if she doesn't want to then you both have lots of options.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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    why dont you tell her about your preferences and then leave the choice in her hands. wait for sometime. if you dont see any efforts from her side, then move on. you dont want to base this relationship on such a wide rift, so try to narrow it. if it doesnt work, then quit. as simple as that.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    DIVIDED WE FALL !! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    Hi Shallow. So if you had some specific physical preferences, how did you even get attracted to her enough to be in a relationship with her? She was fat before ,right? Ok being fit is a good thing, but people who run behind attractive looks end up getting no love......You want some hot time? Go have a hot time with your current gf....yeah seriously do it....You just to need to see her in a different way, and you'll find her sexy....but yeah going to gym together, jogging and stuff is good and you can encourage her......but if you only want "hot time"...you should find someone "hot" by your definitions...
    I'm in love with your body
    I'm in love with the Shape of You



  10. #10
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    Tell her that she is fat and that it concerns you. Then I bet she will tell innumerable things about yourself that irk her. Aur chomu, accept people as they are. Tu bhi koi perfect nahi hoga har tarah sey. And then again if her mass irks you, don't continue your affair with her. But don't try to change her in the pretext of loving her. That's sort of lousy. If your mom and dad are fat, tab bhi yehi attitude rehta hai tera? Bhakk.

  11. #11
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    come on man you know its not in her hand to get slim for you in a day or in a month or 2. Sorry, you are shallow. But I am too. we all want hot sex . But sex is like a 20 minutes thing. I will not lie too you i would have dumped her. Lot of women will find it offensive. But i said i will speak truth. Normally fat marries fat. slim marries slim. At the end we all get what we deserve. Hence debate is over.

  12. #12
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    i change.. my answer. I remember dumping a girl when she was sexy. Now she has become fat and thinks i dumped her because she has became fat. Actually i lost my interest in her long time ago. . when she used to be hot. She was immature than. I am ignoring her over past five years. Now she has become fat. But i would not have dumped her for the reason she became fat latter. However i am not sure. But i think if we have a friendship/ love bond ones change in physical appearence is not the reason to nullify that bond.

  13. #13
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    ask her to eat less
    simple

  14. #14
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    You like her personality and she likes you... I would suggest that you should talk to her about it and if she is ok with it then well go a head and have her look nice and slim and then of course marry her lol...

  15. #15
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    Make her go the gym, watch her diet, if she objects dump her.

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