Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20

Thread: Parents' attitude surprised me!

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Unregistered
    Guest

    Default Parents' attitude surprised me!

    I am in a relationship with the guy since 10 years. We are from the different caste. I never thought our relation will be in trouble as my parents were educated and thought if the guy is educated and well settled then it will be alright for them. But last year when my brother got married to the gal he loved, from the different caste, a kind of mahabharat was there. Then only i realise it doesnt matter how educated my parents are they will oppose if the caste is different. I am not so tough that I could make them unhappy and marry him. I am 29 years old and I am still avoiding my marriage saying I want to study more. But my mother usually tell me i trust u.. i know u will not do like my brother bla bla n bla.. I am too confused how to conveince them without hurting them. I am so upset that I couldnt focus on my studies. Leaving both is not an option for me because i have thought both ways. I sometime feel I will say my parents that i am not interested in marriage and will never get married or Say I am lesbian to avoid marriage. I dont know what to do?

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,027
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    I see....And your claiming to be lesbian will not hurt the people who can't deal with a person of a different cast?
    Look, you can't resolve anything if you run away from it. You've been with this guy for a decade and you really should not be thinking of relegating that relationship into the background or pretending that it does not exist.
    its good to respect your parents' wishes, but you are old enough to take your decisions and stand by them. When you know that their stand is not really logical, you, as an adult, should make your own decisions. Be gentle about it- but be firm.

  3. #3
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,236
    Rep Power
    44

    Default

    from your query, the choice you have is to get married to your parent's choice/ boy from your caste. if not, then remain un-married, but it is important that you tell them the correct reason. lying would be running away from the issue.

    i know in indian setting, confrontation is difficult and is generally avoided. but you have to do it, no other choice sorry.

    what if you lie and 20 years from now your parents say - ohh we didnt know you were lying, maybe we could have allowed you to marry your bf. that would be WTF moment.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  4. #4
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    god's own country!
    Posts
    8,761
    Rep Power
    64

    Default

    It's your life. You are gonna marry. Your parents won't be the ones who are going to live your life. Life is just once and why waste it with someone else unwilling, without being able to take someone else off your mind. If you marry someone of your parents' choice, you are gonna regret it all your life.. Do you want that? If you marry the one you love, you will at least be happy even if it's not a luxurious life. Isn't happiness what we all need?
    Your brother married his love. Be brave like him and be courageous enough to hold the hand of the one you love. I hope your parents didn't abandon your brother. So they are not going to abandon you either,no matter what caste your partner belongs to.
    If your brother's marriage caused a war, be the reason for another one. After all even world wars came in sequel! So two wars for love isn't a big deal. Remember, everything is fair in war and love.
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

  5. #5
    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,498
    Rep Power
    43

    Default

    If you dont wanna marry at all, then dont. If you want to elope with him, just do it. Knock yourself out lady, you are old enough to weigh pros and cons, consequences and ramifications. Dont just make us say something just to blame us if you have to.
    You never know what you can become ..

  6. #6
    SB Addict
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    542
    Rep Power
    36

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I sometime feel I will say my parents that i am not interested in marriage and will never get married or Say I am lesbian to avoid marriage.
    i haven't seen this working anywhere..
    you cannot marry your guy without hurting your parents...they will be hurt for sure...
    choice is yours...in such cases, girls usually go with their parents..there is nothing wrong in that...
    I don't know what you will decide but somehow I am feeling sympathetic to the guy you are with...10 years is a long time
    may he find happiness when you leave him

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    1
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Buy Quality Real And fake Passports,Driver’s License,ID Cards,Visas.

    Hello, Getting a fake and a real (genuine) passport, ID or driving
    license or any other document is simple. we can make you both real and
    fake documents.
    However, the real documents are more expensive than the fake because
    it takes time, skill and contacts to get it done. Note that, the fake
    is going to be 100% unique and in very good quality. The difference is
    based on the registration of the numbers. The real Document will be
    registered with the country’s database so you can use it to travel to
    any country of your choice or in the country, mean while the fake will
    not be registered but can be used as well.

    Contact e-mails……….thomasgreen040@gmail.com
    General support………. thomasgreen040@gmail.com
    Skype Name: serge.brisco
    Contact number:+63 975 9191 1450

    fake USA(United States) passports,
    fake Australian passports,
    fake Belgium passports,
    fake Brazilian(Brazil) passports,
    fake Canadian(Canada) passports,
    fake Finnish(Finland) passports,
    fake French(France) passports,
    fake German(Germany) passports,
    fake Dutch(Netherland/Holland) passports,
    fake Israel passports,
    fake UK(United Kingdom) passports,
    fake Spanish(Spain) passports,
    fake Mexican(Mexico) passports,
    buy fake South African passports.
    buy fake Australian driver licenses,
    buy fake Canadian driver licenses,
    buy fake French(France) driver licenses,
    buy fake Dutch(Netherland/Holland) driving licenses,
    buy fake German(Germany) driving licenses,
    buy fake UK(United Kingdom) driving licenses,
    buy fake Diplomatic passports,
    buy fake USA(United States) passports,
    buy fake Australian passports,
    buy fake Belgium passports,
    buy fake Brazilian(Brazil) passports,
    buy fake Canadian(Canada) passports,
    buy fake Finnish(Finland) passports,
    buy fake French(France) passports,
    buy fake German(Germany) passports,
    buy fake Dutch(Netherland/Holland) passports,
    buy fake Israel passports,
    buy fake UK(United Kingdom) passports,
    buy fake UK(United Kingdom) driving licenses,
    buy fake Diplomatic passports,
    buy Camouflage passports,
    buy passport Duplicates,
    fake USA(united States) passports for sale,
    fake Australian passports for sale,
    fake Belgium passports for sale,
    fake Brazilian(Brazil) passports for sale,
    fake Canadian(Canada) passports for sale,
    fake Finnish(Finland) passports for sale,
    fake French(France) passports for sale,
    fake German(Germany) passports for sale,
    fake Dutch(Netherland/Holland) passports for sale,
    fake Israeli passports

    buy, get, fake, false, passport, passport, id, card, cards, uk, sell, online, canadian, british, sale, novelty, conterfeit, bogus, american, united, states, usa, us, italian,

    malaysian, australian, documents, idetity,
    idetification, driver, license, licence, driving, residence, permit, SSN fake passport id, free fake passport, identity theft, fake, novelty, camoflauge, passport, anonymous,

    private, safe, travel, anti terrorism,
    international, offshore, banking, id, driver, drivers, license, instant, online, for sale, cheap, wholesale, new identity, second, citizenship, identity, identification, documents,

    diplomatic, nationality, how to,
    where to, get, obtain, buy, purchase, make, build, a, passport, i.d., british, honduras, uk, usa, us, u.s., canada, canadian, foreign, visa, swiss, card, ids, document, getting,

    visas, cards, foriegn .

    Email-: thomasgreen040@gmail.com
    Skype Name: serge.brisco
    Contact number:+63 975 9191 1450

  8. #8
    New Born
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    41
    Rep Power
    56

    Default

    Have you ever asked your parents that why they want same caste guy...Get their logic as well
    Because i believe that ... only education doesn't make you wise but experience does...
    Last edited by ishvir; 08-09-2016 at 03:28 PM.

  9. #9
    New Born
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    DND dreamers
    Posts
    83
    Rep Power
    11

    Default

    difficult situation. Who to chose is really difficult. I ll only ask why do you want to break the poor guys heart?? You have been a good daughter 29 yrs of your life. Now Be a Good Person and don't break this guys heart.

  10. #10
    Young Gun ickon2004's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    264
    Rep Power
    67

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I am in a relationship with the guy since 10 years. We are from the different caste. I never thought our relation will be in trouble as my parents were educated and thought if the guy is educated and well settled then it will be alright for them. But last year when my brother got married to the gal he loved, from the different caste, a kind of mahabharat was there. Then only i realise it doesnt matter how educated my parents are they will oppose if the caste is different. I am not so tough that I could make them unhappy and marry him. I am 29 years old and I am still avoiding my marriage saying I want to study more. But my mother usually tell me i trust u.. i know u will not do like my brother bla bla n bla.. I am too confused how to conveince them without hurting them. I am so upset that I couldnt focus on my studies. Leaving both is not an option for me because i have thought both ways. I sometime feel I will say my parents that i am not interested in marriage and will never get married or Say I am lesbian to avoid marriage. I dont know what to do?
    Best is tell them the truth , i know its tough situation but u have to face it , deal with it , its not easy but its not impossible too , u can get both if u wish and try hard, instead of avoiding the matter why not face it ? bcoz someday u have to deal with it ok , by leying u gona hurt ur parents in otherway instead tell the truth speak up , it may work out also

  11. #11
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    5,255
    Rep Power
    65

    Default

    my dr girl... life isnt only about that one person whom we thought we love....

    ive been in such situation..... and it was so hard for me to leave... it was like am so close to death...

    i suffered.... but i decided that i cant hurt my parents... i love them...

    and guess what it was the right decision... we can never be happy if our parents will not be happy...

    i never let my parents know about it because they, knowing about it itself would have hurted them.. i kept it to me.. suffered alone

    i cried over here on sbf... looking for courage because it was so hard....

    i moved on.. i grew up.. came across new experiences.... where i realise no one is worth the love of your parents...

    finally i married my hubby through arrange marriage... and leading a great life....

    life isnt always about us....

    life isnt only about that one person we think we love.... No....

    it will take you time but you have to move on to be able to rise again....

    and it requires a strong willingness to do so!!!!!

    GO by your parents choice, if your choice cannot be accepted by your parents!!!
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

  12. #12
    ~PrincE~ Major LuVon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Bahrain
    Posts
    4,168
    Rep Power
    38

    Default

    Wah re Sher'ni

    Intercaste marriage ke liye parents ko bolne ka himmat nahi aur Lesbian hu bolne ka Upaya dhoond liya ..
    Just You ... Only You

  13. #13
    ~PrincE~ Major LuVon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Bahrain
    Posts
    4,168
    Rep Power
    38

    Default

    Wah re Sher'ni

    Intercaste marriage ke liye parents ko bolne ka himmat nahi aur Lesbian hu bolne ka Upaya dhoond liya ..
    Just You ... Only You

  14. #14
    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Kalinga
    Posts
    782
    Rep Power
    53

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I am in a relationship with the guy since 10 years. We are from the different caste. I never thought our relation will be in trouble as my parents were educated and thought if the guy is educated and well settled then it will be alright for them. But last year when my brother got married to the gal he loved, from the different caste, a kind of mahabharat was there. Then only i realise it doesnt matter how educated my parents are they will oppose if the caste is different. I am not so tough that I could make them unhappy and marry him. I am 29 years old and I am still avoiding my marriage saying I want to study more. But my mother usually tell me i trust u.. i know u will not do like my brother bla bla n bla.. I am too confused how to conveince them without hurting them. I am so upset that I couldnt focus on my studies. Leaving both is not an option for me because i have thought both ways. I sometime feel I will say my parents that i am not interested in marriage and will never get married or Say I am lesbian to avoid marriage. I dont know what to do?
    this is called hypocrisy and is common with parents. be prepared for mahabharat season 2.

  15. #15
    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Kalinga
    Posts
    782
    Rep Power
    53

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I am in a relationship with the guy since 10 years. We are from the different caste. I never thought our relation will be in trouble as my parents were educated and thought if the guy is educated and well settled then it will be alright for them. But last year when my brother got married to the gal he loved, from the different caste, a kind of mahabharat was there. Then only i realise it doesnt matter how educated my parents are they will oppose if the caste is different. I am not so tough that I could make them unhappy and marry him. I am 29 years old and I am still avoiding my marriage saying I want to study more. But my mother usually tell me i trust u.. i know u will not do like my brother bla bla n bla.. I am too confused how to conveince them without hurting them. I am so upset that I couldnt focus on my studies. Leaving both is not an option for me because i have thought both ways. I sometime feel I will say my parents that i am not interested in marriage and will never get married or Say I am lesbian to avoid marriage. I dont know what to do?
    this is called hypocrisy and is common with parents. be prepared for mahabharat season 2.

Similar Threads

  1. Parents attitude is hurting
    By Unregistered in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 28-08-2013, 12:27 AM
  2. Try this.....You will be surprised....
    By bebo9 in forum Chit Chat Corner
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 03-01-2011, 09:51 AM
  3. Parents have negative attitude
    By sasha10 in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 13-09-2009, 10:43 AM
  4. Is her attitude due to parents pressure?
    By savitha21 in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-06-2009, 10:47 PM
  5. Surprised R U???
    By sexy sam in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 15-03-2007, 12:40 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •