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Thread: MIL threatening my mother for lost child

  1. #1
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    Default MIL threatening my mother for lost child

    We have been married for 7-8 years and currently living in US. We had lot of trouble conceiving initially when in India, even had multiple miscarriages. After many experts and consultations, we went for IVF in India last year. During my pregnancy, my husband got a chance to come to US for job purposes. We both decided to come here as medical facilities are good. My MIL did not want us to move here as there will be noone to take care of me. But my husband and me convinced her somehow. Unfortunately, there were some rare medical conditions and we lost our child during birth. It was a heart-breaking moment for us and the families back in India.

    Now, my husband's mother is blaming me for the loss of our child. She is also calling my family and threatening that she will file a police complaint against me. She is using words like I killed her son's child. My mother is getting tensed, she also has BP problems. Luckily my husband has been supportive of me in all this. I have two questions -
    1 - What can I do or tell my MIL as she has gone crazy. I want to make sure that the relationship does not get ruined beyond repair. So I want to be careful with the situation.
    2 - Just in case, she files a police complaint, what should we do? We will be in US and dont have immediate plan to go back, but what about my family? Its police in India and they can give unnecessary trouble for money from old parents. Can my parents be arrested? Do they need any affidavit to prove that it was death by medical cause?

    Please help.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hmm, well, I don't believe that she can file a complaint of that nature or that your parents will be impacted, even if she's crazy enough to file the case against them. They are in a different country!
    Miscarriages happen to many women. Its very unfortunate that this has happened and you, more than anyone else must be heartbroken and traumatised. Still, keep the medical records in your safe custody- you may need them at any time, specially if the lady decides to create trouble. It is advisable for your parents to consult a lawyer in any case, just to prevent an unpleasant situation from happening.
    As far as she is concerned, it would be best that you keep your distance and keep communication polite. But don't get into any conversation or accusation scenes.

  3. #3
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    its good that you and your husband understand the situation. you both need to be together in this situation. for 1st point, just be polite and keep saying that it was a medical condition. if she accuses and asks you different questions, you keep repeating the same thing. dont go into arguments, let her speak whatever she wants. try not to be rude towards MIL, as that may hurt your husband.

    for police complaint, i dont think she has any case here. even for FIR, she has to first prove that there was indeed an incident. if you havent sent her any sort of medical report, then it will be impossible for her to prove. she would have to contact the hospital in US, and as you may know hospitals do not indulge any personal information without consent even for family. so rest assured, nothing will happen. but like you said, police may try to give grief unnecessarily. for that it would be a good idea to check with the lawyer, no need to engage him at this point.

    also, one optional suggestion is to contact the police first and telling them that MIL is threatening like this. but on second thoughts, it is not such a good idea. what if MIL doesnt complaint, then your family will look bad.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    Be smart and don't give into threats. Your monster-in-law is now a grudge bearing horrid narcissist, its unlikely she will ever be supportive in the future in anything you do. Alarm bells say that she has already began sowing the seeds of doubts in your husband! Today he's with you but this might change pretty soon. Do not go back, stay away for as long as you can, convince your husband into trying again. Cease this time together alone to strengthen your relationship
    So may it be

  5. #5
    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    She cant do anything, also record her calls etc. Get a lawyer already arranged for your mother, just for in case your MIL files a false complain etc.

  6. #6
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    I dont think she can do much apart from oral threats...Try to stay away from her as long as possible. In the worst case I dont think it wud be easy for your MIL to prove in court that you "killed" your unborn child.

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