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Thread: My husband's ignorance is killing me

  1. #1
    nehatwr
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    Default My husband's ignorance is killing me

    I’ve been married 10 years. From the very first day of our engagement my husband has not shown affection to me (romance any kind of sexual activities hugs, etc.)

    it was my husband who proposed me and i agreed and get rejected after marriage.

    its affecting my emotional mental physical health and well being .even after begging for it 1000 times he doesnt care. i even told him this ignorence is damaging and killing me. i always starts sex first and feel ashamed of myself later.


    he says all husband wives live like this only and there is nothing wrong in it

    he stares on other girls infront of me and masterbate whenever he wants but never even hug or say i love u to me. he is living like a roomate with me

    i have tried my best . but now i cant live with him anymore. please advice how to overcome this emotional and mental damage

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hmmm, well, a lack of love or respect is certainly not great for any relationship. You should try and consult with a marriage counsellor because it does not seem as if he's communicating with you or paying heed to what you have to say at all.
    We cannot judge the extent of your emotional or mental damage. But if you feel that you can't deal with it anymore, you should start to speak with your close friends and family about the situation. talking about situations and not bottling them up does help. Maybe you would like to seek counselling as well?

  3. #3
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    You cant force him to love you. He seems weird though. A bit psycho also. Why he masterbates when he has a wife and doing it in front of her is super weird. Your emotional/mental/ physical health in danger. Why do you beg for love and affection? Isn't it your right? There is nothing to be ashamed of demanding sex from your husband.

    YOU CANT LIVE WITH HIM ANYMORE?? Where will you find someone who will love you now and accept your kids. To Be Frank ...After 10 yrs of marriage men/ women start to lose interest towards their partner and secretly start fantasizing about other girls. The moron is doing this right in front of you. That is the Problem here.

    Exercise some control over him. Its too late to expect affections from him. Make some rules and manipulate him to follow the rules. Like no ogling / masterbation in the room when you are there etc.

  4. #4
    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Divorce him. Record your conversations with him where he says such stuff that can help you get a divorce easily. Get a lawyer.

  5. #5
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    either live with the situation or get divorced. i think if he hasnt changed in 10 yrs, theres no reason why he will change now. so trying to change him will waste your time. try to engage yourself in other activities, things that you like, hobbies, etc.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  6. #6
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    If you have a job and are financially independent, do take a divorce. What's the point of continuing in a relationship when there's no love or companionship? Without love, a relationship is just nothing.
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

  7. #7
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    is he behave like this from beginning or later he became like that? or some incident make him like that? does he stares girls older than himself?

    does he have any affair before yours marriage? or does you have affair before marriage and somehow he knows (maybe you told him) about it?

    There is nothing to be ashamed of demanding sex from your husband. it's your virtue that you initiate sex (he is lucky of which he has no idea).

    its been 10 years, how's your husband's behavior towards children/s? and how's your husband's behavior in general? how's your overall life is it normal (other than this affection and love making part)?

    if you are thinking about divorce than you should be financially independent and in condition of take care of yourself and your children/s after divorce or else divorce will make your and yours children's life hell. remember children will suffer more than you.

  8. #8
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    I feel so bad for you

  9. #9
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    handle it carefuly dear

  10. #10
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    Hi there I am sorry to hear that you are not getting the love and affection from your so called husband... My suggestion is with Preeto Maam that you should seek a marriage councillor and see what they can do if that doesn't not work out or your husband does not want to cooperate on that then make sure that you have a good job and are financially independent and then move on with your life... I believe that you are still pretty young and I am sure that you can move on ...

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