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Thread: Arranged marriage for an over-weight guy

  1. #1
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    Default Arranged marriage for an over-weight guy

    Hi,

    I am a 30 year old guy who is over-weight. This weight increase has happened in the last 2-3 years while I moved to USA (living alone and un-healthy eating habits etc)

    Earlier I had a few girl friends but I didnt marry them because I wanted to go by parents choice. But now the thing is that when I am looking for arranged alliances, a lot of girls are rejecting the proposal.

    My only question/concern is that these girls who are rejecting it are doing based on my weight are not looking at the guy that I am (smart, well earning,independent). I can (and am currently) loose(ing) weight and should be back to my previous shape in another 4-5 months (hopefully)

    So whats the gurantee that these girls would not walk away from marriage if I gain weight some 5-10 years down the line.

    I have feelers from girls (co-workers) who are not from our community (some even country) that they are interested in marrying me but that would not go down well with my parents.

    I am not sure how to go about this confusion. Any help would be appreciated.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! See, its natural that girls- and boys- do look at a prospective partner's appearance, specially in an arranged marriage. First impressions do matter .These girls don't know you at all and its not unnatural that anyone would want a reasonable looking guy or girl as a partner. I'm not saying that its all right to judge but when looking for a prospective match, there are some parameters that a prospective partner will look for at the first instance.
    If you are on the task of losing weight, that's good. Why not let that happen? See, there's much more to a committed relationship than looks- the committment brings about its own involvement, so your fear may not have any real grounds.

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    DESTINY STILL ARRIVES! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    Earlier I had a few girl friends but I didnt marry them because I wanted to go by parents choice.

    You see its because you did this....

    But now the thing is that when I am looking for arranged alliances, a lot of girls are rejecting the proposal.

    This has happened. Its KARMA, it bites you back!! So you may be well earning and independent, but you are not smart. If you were smart, you would have married already by your choice. Parents will always...I repeat...always create problems. If you cant convince them, rebel them. Eventually, they'll come around, they'll have to.

    So go with the feelersssssssss.....
    I Hope They Remember You...



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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi,

    I am a 30 year old guy who is over-weight. This weight increase has happened in the last 2-3 years while I moved to USA (living alone and un-healthy eating habits etc)

    Earlier I had a few girl friends but I didnt marry them because I wanted to go by parents choice. But now the thing is that when I am looking for arranged alliances, a lot of girls are rejecting the proposal.

    My only question/concern is that these girls who are rejecting it are doing based on my weight are not looking at the guy that I am (smart, well earning,independent). I can (and am currently) loose(ing) weight and should be back to my previous shape in another 4-5 months (hopefully)

    So whats the gurantee that these girls would not walk away from marriage if I gain weight some 5-10 years down the line.

    I have feelers from girls (co-workers) who are not from our community (some even country) that they are interested in marrying me but that would not go down well with my parents.

    I am not sure how to go about this confusion. Any help would be appreciated.
    not to be rude but being overweight at 30 is not the perfect alliance someone will be looking for..
    after you are married, i don't think people are concerned with weight...they have other things to take care of
    lose some weight and then go for it

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    how do you that they are rejecting you for your weight and not seeing the guy that you are. and if they are not seeing it, then isnt it good for you? you dont want a girl that doesnt see who you are, right? you want a guarantee that your match will or wont doo a certain thing after 5 or 10 years? life has no guarantees. period. you just have to predict based on current interactions and trust the instincts. its not only about marriage, but a hell lot of other things in life. you dont even have a guarantee will be alive tomorrow, but you still do a lifetime recharge, dont you?

    just continue what you are doing, weight loss and seeing girls and you should be fine.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    SB Wizard Captain o00's Avatar
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    Join a gym, have a trainer. Lose (not loose) weight. Also stop thinking about what will happen if you gain weight again blah blah. Dont be insecure unless you really are like that from the beginning.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    There is nothing wrong if a slim girl expects a slim boy or a tall girl expects a tall boy for her etc etc . .

    Don't assume such stupid things like what will happen 5 or 10 years down the line. We don't know if we would be alive the very next day . Keep up your good work of turning fit.

    PS nobody can judge your kind heart or smartness in one meeting in case of arrange marriage. At that time in initial stage you are judged only by your looks.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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    After Marrige you can reduce your weight. Create Daily Calendar Planner for your daily Food.
    Like If you want to maintain your body this moth so here are some steps. Take a Printable Calendar November 2017 And take it printout. And creat your daily deight. Fro moring, Arfternoon, evening and night.

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    1.252 billion as per statistics is d population of India in 2013. Every other fcuking second someone is getting married. To fcuk ie have sex or atleast that u can see ur own pen is you need to lose weight. Start by throwing stones at street dogs.

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    We all know the warnings signs, but it is hard when your brain is fighting with your heart. Have some respect for yourself, do not allow yourself to be used or be unhappy. Follow your gut and trust your instincts. Good luck out there to everyone.

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    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi,


    My only question/concern is that these girls who are rejecting it are doing based on my weight are not looking at the guy that I am (smart, well earning,independent).

    So whats the gurantee that these girls would not walk away from marriage if I gain weight some 5-10 years down the line.
    Because by then there would be emotional attachment. There are no guarantees in any relationship, what you put in is what you get. First looks, attraction is important, decency is too but that gets noticed truly only when you get to know someone but first judgment comes by looks. Even animals choose their mates based on looks. Get yourself in perfect shape and maintain, end the sloven lifestyle ! you are lazy.
    So may it be

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    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    in short jo dikhta hai woh bikta hai.

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    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    I dont know why but i felt like you taking these refusal very badly, so badly that you held grudge against all those who rejected you. and you unknowingly pacifying yourself that its good they rejected they would have done the same after marriage. its not that because often when the man is gaining weight the women also gaining weight in a couple. 2nd there is emotional and this change behavior of people. work on losing weight then you give a try. everyone has his or her expectations.. if you are asked to marry someone who is triple the size of yours, would you say yes? why because you would feel you are way slimmer in front of her. so why expecting others to accept you the way you are? change your mindset it will do good to you
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

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