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Thread: In a committed relationship but she' cheating

  1. #1
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    Angry In a committed relationship but she' cheating

    Me and my gf have dated for just below 3 years. Both her and my parents know about the relationship. Her parent has approved it but my parents are still hell bent against it. Our family is also deep in financial problems. Recently her mother passed away and she wants the parents to meet and close this chapter as quickly as possible and seal the relationship. While I have been committed to her (dont even to talk to girls just so that she doesnt feel insecure), my parents are yet to meet her father post them getting convinced. I have been trying to convince my parents for a while but they are not proceeding yet because my elder brother is unmarried (also has a mental disorder) and also we are deep in financial problems. My gf knows about both the issues.

    Despite my problems, I wanted to convince my parents for marriage at least. But in the meanwhile, my gf has been chatting, texting going out with another guy from the office who is married and finds comfort in him. I dont they got beyond kissing but they chat a lot. This started happening before her mom passed away and when I started trying t convince my parents about our marriage. When I found out not from her about this thing, I was devastated. Now I feel betrayed despite me giving my best commitment to her. Because of the devasation , I have been unable to support her during her stressful times with her mother passing away.

    I had offered to part ways but she blackmails me to stay with her because I had promised her a lifetime relationship. But I am extremel unhappy with her ways and I know for sure she still hangs out with that guy and chats with him. I am not even sure if that will continue even after giving a commitment because this time she can hide it very easily knowing how i found out the first time. She is saying that she will stop only if our parents talk and my commitment to her is useless.

    What to do?

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, its getting to be a Catch-22 situation! You want her to stop talking to her friend because she's committed to you but she says the commitment only makes sense if you get your parents to agree. In the meanwhile, neither of you are really there for each other nor are you communicating well enough.

    Basically, you should talk. Question yourselves if you both are really interested in taking this forward or have too many issues cropped up in between? Can those issues be resolved? Is the love still in tact? Once the expectations and grudges are cleared out, then set the timeline and push it with your parents.

  3. #3
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    you need to run away from this girl as far as possible. she looks like a liar and fraud based on what you said.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    I don't think she is cheating on you. She is expecting a commitment from you and we understand that its difficult for you to provide due to the issues you have. Rather than doubting her, talk to her, pacify her and make her understand. Since you haven't mentioned your age and if you have a job or not, it difficult to suggest further. See if you can convince your parents and go with an engagement with your gf till your elder brother gets married.

  5. #5
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    Let her go. You are not ready for her, she is does not deserve to be kept on hold like that.
    You never know what you can become ..

  6. #6
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    girls are like that.. if she feels doubtful about your commitment she will tend to find security or comfort else where.. but unfortunately hanging with married guy is something different. anyways.. its your life, you promised doesnt mean you have to keep going on because of that. you need to make it clear to her that you are not interested in someone who can cheat. if she wants you to be with you she has to mend her ways.
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

  7. #7
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    Thumbs up cheater

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Me and my gf have dated for just below 3 years. Both her and my parents know about the relationship. Her parent has approved it but my parents are still hell bent against it. Our family is also deep in financial problems. Recently her mother passed away and she wants the parents to meet and close this chapter as quickly as possible and seal the relationship. While I have been committed to her (dont even to talk to girls just so that she doesnt feel insecure), my parents are yet to meet her father post them getting convinced. I have been trying to convince my parents for a while but they are not proceeding yet because my elder brother is unmarried (also has a mental disorder) and also we are deep in financial problems. My gf knows about both the issues.

    Despite my problems, I wanted to convince my parents for marriage at least. But in the meanwhile, my gf has been chatting, texting going out with another guy from the office who is married and finds comfort in him. I dont they got beyond kissing but they chat a lot. This started happening before her mom passed away and when I started trying t convince my parents about our marriage. When I found out not from her about this thing, I was devastated. Now I feel betrayed despite me giving my best commitment to her. Because of the devasation , I have been unable to support her during her stressful times with her mother passing away.

    I had offered to part ways but she blackmails me to stay with her because I had promised her a lifetime relationship. But I am extremel unhappy with her ways and I know for sure she still hangs out with that guy and chats with him. I am not even sure if that will continue even after giving a commitment because this time she can hide it very easily knowing how i found out the first time. She is saying that she will stop only if our parents talk and my commitment to her is useless.

    What to do?

    well she shouldnt blackmail you after betraying you , sorry to say she looks shameless , thing u can do is monitor her and give her a chance or simple break off this relationship bcoz why to take headache bcoz if this continuous after your marriage you will be in deep shit , so think over it , now the ball is in you court to give her a chance or not , she should have understood your problem and given u time but here she is betraying u . commitment should be from both side right ? , things will work if commitment is shown from both side not just one side , loyalty is expected ,this is straight away betraying, not done , think over it , anyways best of luck ,tc .bye
    Last edited by ickon2004; 09-12-2016 at 11:57 AM.

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    if she cheat onces will cheat twice

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    very bad of her ..................

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