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Thread: Forced to marry to a girl I don't like

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Forced to marry to a girl I don't like

    Dear Agony Aunt,

    I am an avid follower of your thread and would like to appreciate the work that you have been doing. I am presently residing in Dubai and am faced with a life changing decision to make. I am in love with a girl who is also my far off relative. I have been in dubai since childhood, used to go to india for vacations and that's how I fell for her from a very early age. As of now we are in a long distance relationship for the past 10 years(i meet her once i go for vacations every year). We both trust each other and are very happy. Both of our families know about our relationship. There's no issue from her side but my parent's are not agreeing and have now, as of yesterday, forced me to get engaged to another girl of their liking. They emotionally blackmailed me and threatened me with their honor and the scarifices they have made for me. I have been fighting my parents for the last 2-3 years to allow me to marry the girl of my choice but to no avail. They have only 1 issue and that is what will people say that their son has opted for love marriage whereas the parents always opposed it. All they care is what will others say, they have turned a blind eye to my happiness and say once you get married to the girl of their choice everything will be good. i can not move on with this, i love my girl a lot and i can not leave her. Kindly suggest me how to tackle this issue and also not hurt my parents.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, since you are in a loving and committed relationship, it's up to you to make sure that you come through for this girl. In fact, you should not have agreed to the engagement with the girl of your parents' choosing because now things will get even more complex with that angle coming in, broken engagement, embarrassment for the families etc
    Anyway, you had better hurry up and make your decision known to your parents and your fiance if you really wish to honour your relationship. Obviously, the moment cannot be delayed any longer. Being firm but maintaining your love and respect for your folks might help. But its you that has to make up his mind to take the bull by the horns.

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    i apologize to the women. but what you need to do is wear bangles in your hand and keep crying. if you dont have courage, then whats the point of having a relationship. just wear a belt around your neck and give the other end in your parents hand so that they can take you for a ride everyday.

    there is not way to resolve this matter and not hurt anyone. if you want to marry your parent's choice, then dont be a cry baby. if you want to marry girl of your choice, then dont think of hurting parents. choice is yours.

    by marrying your parent's choice, you are ruining your life, the other girl's life and also the life of the girl that you love. dont think your parent's will be happy when they see you suffer. so whats the point, be a man and have the courage to stand up to your parents.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  4. #4
    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Be a man ..... just go by your heart ... there is nothing wrong in marrying the girl you love ... parents will be angry for a while but later they would be happy to see their kid happily married.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Dear Agony Aunt,

    I am an avid follower of your thread and would like to appreciate the work that you have been doing. I am presently residing in Dubai and am faced with a life changing decision to make. I am in love with a girl who is also my far off relative. I have been in dubai since childhood, used to go to india for vacations and that's how I fell for her from a very early age. As of now we are in a long distance relationship for the past 10 years(i meet her once i go for vacations every year). We both trust each other and are very happy. Both of our families know about our relationship. There's no issue from her side but my parent's are not agreeing and have now, as of yesterday, forced me to get engaged to another girl of their liking. They emotionally blackmailed me and threatened me with their honor and the scarifices they have made for me. I have been fighting my parents for the last 2-3 years to allow me to marry the girl of my choice but to no avail. They have only 1 issue and that is what will people say that their son has opted for love marriage whereas the parents always opposed it. All they care is what will others say, they have turned a blind eye to my happiness and say once you get married to the girl of their choice everything will be good. i can not move on with this, i love my girl a lot and i can not leave her. Kindly suggest me how to tackle this issue and also not hurt my parents.
    ===========================
    Explain to your parents that its you who has to spend the life with that girl (of their choice) and not them. If you don't like her wholeheartedly, it will be a cheating to her as your mind will always be thinking about the one you love. If they are emotionally blackmailing you, you have the all rights to do the same. What if you start cheating your wife with the girl you like and the society will be insulting your family for being a cheater. Then where would be the respect & honor left. I still don't understand the concept these parents have that they own their kids life and have all the rights to take decisions for them. I mean its like asking for payback for all the favors they have done whole life. Its more of insurance they have been paying for and now the insurance should be utilized as they want.

  6. #6
    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Dont marry at all or just elope with your 10 years GF.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    do consider ur parents suggestion but marry the girl if she is worth

  8. #8
    chirpy angel Lieutenant-Colonel barbiedoll's Avatar
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    Why dont your parents like your distant relative?

    If you love the girl and she loves you, just make arrangements and get married to her. Move to dubai with her. Your parents might take time but will be fine.

    Marriage is not the only way to re-pay parents for what they did. Dont let those sentiments make you weak.

    Even after your parents, its you who need to be with the girl all your life. By marrying your parent's choice, you are going to go through tremendous stress for sure but will also trouble an innocent girl and her family. Instead of making so many people suffer with you, be wise and get married to your love. Parents can never abandon their children.

    There are millions and zillions of people who married against their parent's wishes. Parents never left them. Some took a month and some took a year. Thats it.

    Be brave and all the best!

  9. #9
    ~PrincE~ Major LuVon's Avatar
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    Since the post is posted on nov. I jst hope u havent married the choice of ur parents.
    Only suggestions i can give
    1. Explain ur parents abt ur happiness to be with the girl u luv (if u both marry) n' injustice to the girl they looked for u (in case if u marry her n ur heart already being with the girl u luv)
    2. If things dont work .. marry the girl u luv ..going against ur parents .. sooner or later things r bound to be alright
    3. If u dont have enough courage to do that .. dont marry at all .. remain UNMARRIED. why?? Coz if u dont have courage to overcome this, u dont have the right to ruin others (any girl) life as with ur gutless attitude, u r sure not to keep her happy
    Cheeers
    Just You ... Only You

  10. #10
    DIVIDED WE FALL !! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    You can't have your cake and eat it too. Someone will get hurt by any of the decision you make. Its time for you to emotionally blackmail your parents, tell them if you don't marry the girl of your choice, you're gonna end up unhappy and your parents will be responsible for it. Exaggerate it to the limit your parents are forced to think that their son is gonna die without that girl.
    I'm in love with your body
    I'm in love with the Shape of You



  11. #11
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    not good signs ............

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